Lord Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 By mad i mean she doesnt say anything and has a sad face. Should I try to please her and make her happy or just leave her on her own and wait until she is normal? PS: I did not do anything wrong to her but she tends to get mad sometimes and I am not sure what to do
StBreton Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 What immediately precipitated this behavior? Something at work/school/family occurred that upset her? Does she have a habit of letting things bother her, bottling them up and act passively aggressively? Also, I know you say you "didn't do anything wrong" but something YOU DID or said may have upset her ... completely unintentionally done on your part but something to ponder. So what was happening between the two of you just prior to her mood change? FYI...your gf's behavior is very unhealthy for your relationship...I'm sure you know that. Might be a good time to discuss how to handle things going forward so this behavior of hers doesn't ruin the relationship.
Glitters Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 No one gets mad without reason unless they have mental health issues. Most likely she is checking out of the relationship. 1
StBreton Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 As far as what to do now? Let her know you care about her and when she feels like talking about it, to call you. Ask her if she wants to go for a walk maybe...she might open up.
bhnoodles Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 The same thing happened in my last relationship, it was really unhealthy and one of the reasons we broke up, it really corrupted the relationship and i haven't find a solution but i understand where you're coming from
Author Lord Posted January 14, 2016 Author Posted January 14, 2016 What immediately precipitated this behavior? Something at work/school/family occurred that upset her? Does she have a habit of letting things bother her, bottling them up and act passively aggressively? Also, I know you say you "didn't do anything wrong" but something YOU DID or said may have upset her ... completely unintentionally done on your part but something to ponder. So what was happening between the two of you just prior to her mood change? FYI...your gf's behavior is very unhealthy for your relationship...I'm sure you know that. Might be a good time to discuss how to handle things going forward so this behavior of hers doesn't ruin the relationship. Well she had gone out with her friends and i just asked her to send pic but then she forgot. Later i said how come you forgot when i never forget when you ask for one when I am out. This made her felt bad Also she works and she has work stress and she thinks a lot about her career but she always says she loves me and whenever she is mad, she never forgets to say sorry the next day. It happens like one or twice a month though and its not an everyday thing but just that I don't want her to think that I will come and please her when she gets mad at small things or should I please her? That's what i wanted to know as i dont want her feel that i dont care for her but i very much do Our relationship is almost a year old
kendahke Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 Well she had gone out with her friends and i just asked her to send pic but then she forgot. Later i said how come you forgot when i never forget when you ask for one when I am out. This made her felt bad Does she always forget to do this? Do you always remember to do this? It happens like one or twice a month though and its not an everyday thing but just that I don't want her to think that I will come and please her when she gets mad at small things or should I please her? That's what i wanted to know as i dont want her feel that i dont care for her but i very much do Our relationship is almost a year old Wow, that doesn't speak well for your relationship if it's down to score-keeping.
kitty12345 Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 Duh ! Thats exactly she could be thinking - Duh ! for a picture, really ? Silence is louder
GemmaUK Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 Lack of a picture is a daft thing to bring up. I would have rolled my eyes at that one! Why not just each of you go out and enjoy your time with friends without having to send a picture or have any contact? Is this the type of thing that happens (eg something so inconsequential), you bring it up and then she 'gets mad'?
Grewd Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Are you a good listener? Has she previously expressed something she dislikes where you've gone defensive? If yes then she might have figured it's no point telling you what the problem is because you won't listen, understand or care. This might lead to emotionally punishing you with silent treatment, she knows it makes you understand something is wrong. You could try pleasing her, but I strongly advise against it as it doesn't address and solve the actual issue. Think of it like sweeping it under the carpet and pretending everything is sugary sweet, continued use of that tactic will inevitably blow up in a huge mess one day. Ignoring it is no better. So what to do? Have you tried just asking her straight out what's wrong? Do you have the courage and self-control to confront whatever it is? First you might have to check if she's open to talking about it, ask if there's anything she feels annoyed about. If she answers with a short yes you have to open her up further, ask what annoys her. If it's something you've done or something else. It could be she interpreted something you said or did in a negative way, but you don't understand why she acts like that because you don't see it yourself. In that case listen carefully, might be something simple you don't mind changing or a misunderstanding you can easily clear up. If it's about something else then just let her vent, perhaps comfort her a little and that will probably be the end of it. The last thing you want to do is to become upset and let the panic drive your actions. Just keep calm and process things, if you're calm you're more likely to have a calming effect on her.
Grewd Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Well she had gone out with her friends and i just asked her to send pic but then she forgot. Later i said how come you forgot when i never forget when you ask for one when I am out. This made her felt bad I didn't read the responses before my previous reply, but this piece of information makes it a bit more clear. My advice is still good though. You shamed her. I would feel that way if my girlfriend commented something I forgot doing and presenting herself as better. You could have just said "I missed your picture", it doesn't imply she's inferior to you. Try to avoid having her feel she's not good enough, you gotta be equal. You can even make it more positive by saying "I would really like getting a picture", but don't put too high expectations on minor details like this. Meaning don't be "mad" at her for forgetting it, because that's probably how she received it. Her behavior is a reflection of yours. Neither of you are mad, but you both seem to assume the other is mad while it's just a little hurt. You started it off, she doesn't know how to handle it and apparently neither do you. Now I've told you, so please learn from it.
shyguy3543 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Well she had gone out with her friends and i just asked her to send pic but then she forgot. Later i said how come you forgot when i never forget when you ask for one when I am out. One thing I'm wondering is what are these pictures you guys are asking for? Proof that you're each where you say you are? I'm hoping that's not the case. It just kind of sounds like it a little bit. 1
joseb Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 One thing I'm wondering is what are these pictures you guys are asking for? Proof that you're each where you say you are? I'm hoping that's not the case. It just kind of sounds like it a little bit. Yeah that's what it sounds like to me. Perhaps you are jealous of her having time alone. And she is tired if having to update you all the time?
MidnightDream Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Well she had gone out with her friends and i just asked her to send pic but then she forgot. Later i said how come you forgot when i never forget when you ask for one when I am out. This made her felt bad Also she works and she has work stress and she thinks a lot about her career but she always says she loves me and whenever she is mad, she never forgets to say sorry the next day. It happens like one or twice a month though and its not an everyday thing but just that I don't want her to think that I will come and please her when she gets mad at small things or should I please her? That's what i wanted to know as i dont want her feel that i dont care for her but i very much do Our relationship is almost a year old It feels as though your the one getting mad at small things and she's retaliating. So what she forgot to send you a picture? Just bring it up don't try drag her down for it by implying your the better partner. Like others, I'm reallyyy confused on what these pictures are... Dirty pictures? Proof of where you are??
ExpatInItaly Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 OP, may I ask how old both of you are? And why do you two ask each other for pictures when you're out with your friends?
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