vcorec Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 My GF: good looking, insecure, she had 2 rough relationships, she is completely in love with me I am in relationship with this girl for 5 months, everything is fine except this: I asked her 3 mohts ago that I got ticket to London with my friends, she told me that is happy that I will visit this city. 2 months ago she wanted to have piercing on her face, I told her I dont like it. After a little struggle she chose to have piercing in her belly button. I didn't forbid her to have it, I exactly told her "I dont like facial piercing but I can live with that, my feeling for you won't change" 2 weeks ago I told her that I travel to London acording to my past plan. It was MAJOR scene she told me that she doesn't want me to limit me at all but she is freaking out, she has problem to completely trust somebody because of her past relationships, she even told me that it will be better for me if she will be alone out of relationship so she can't hurt anybody. What should I do? I have future plans with her and I love her. Is it possible that this will ever change?
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 What does your absence/trip to London have to do with her body piercing?
Author vcorec Posted January 14, 2016 Author Posted January 14, 2016 She told me that she wouldnt do anything I dont like (facial piercing) so I shouldnt travel to London, she doesnt like it and she would go crazy during my absence because of her fear..
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 Three days? And she's freaking out? Are you sure you need this kind of drama in your life? It's not as if you're going for a month. Tell her she's being totally unreasonable. You prevented her from disfiguring her face for life. (Fine for some if that's what they really want, but....) She's playing the drama queen. Tell her to please not project her previous relationships onto you. You're not those guys. 1
Author vcorec Posted January 14, 2016 Author Posted January 14, 2016 I have no clue if I need the drama. Honestly I love her so much but don't want to experience it everytime I'd go on business trip etc.
mrs rubble Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 I have no clue if I need the drama. Honestly I love her so much but don't want to experience it everytime I'd go on business trip etc. Your original post says you were going to London with friends and now you're claiming you'll be unable to go on a business trip, because of her insecurity. Is the trip one with friends or a business trip? If it's with friends, why isn't she invited too? I'm actually a bit creeped out by how you say "you didn't forbid her" what gives you the right to forbid her anything? If my man forbade me, I'd tell him to eff off.
Author vcorec Posted January 14, 2016 Author Posted January 14, 2016 Your original post says you were going to London with friends and now you're claiming you'll be unable to go on a business trip, because of her insecurity. Is the trip one with friends or a business trip? If it's with friends, why isn't she invited too? I'm actually a bit creeped out by how you say "you didn't forbid her" what gives you the right to forbid her anything? If my man forbade me, I'd tell him to eff off. It is with male friends they have girlfriends either I am thinking of possible future travels ie. business trips which could affect my job... No she was not invited I asked her 3 moths ago it I can go. She told me she is happy that I will go there with my friends and visit this city. You can say to your man w/e you want. I didnt forbid her anything I told her I will love her with/without that..
Glitters Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 You sound very controlling to me. I think its you, not her , that is the problem here. 1
mrs rubble Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 It is with male friends they have girlfriends either I am thinking of possible future travels ie. business trips which could affect my job... No she was not invited I asked her 3 moths ago it I can go. She told me she is happy that I will go there with my friends and visit this city. You can say to your man w/e you want. I didnt forbid her anything I told her I will love her with/without that.. No but you struggled until she compromised and got the belly-button piercing which you told her you could live with. A piece of jewellery wherever it's placed shouldn't affect how much you love her. I mean what if she had to have boob taken off one day??? Glitters is on to you, you're controlling.
mrldii Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Some of you ladies are a little too quick to call a guy controlling. He told his GF he didn't like a facial piercing, but would still care for her either way. She chose not to have it done. No big deal. Her choice. Like the OP said, he didn't tell her not to have it done. Actually, that's not what I got when I read it...and so I went back and re-read it. Granted, it's his retelling of the story (so something might get lost in the retelling), but I definitely got the impression that he 'forbade' her to get a face-piercing, but would would be OK if she pierced her belly button instead, and then his feelings wouldn't change towards her (inferring that they would if she pierced her face). In any event, I agree - the piercing has nothing to do with the price of tea in China nor with his trip to London. If she had a problem with his trip, she should have voiced it back when he first expressed taking it...not waiting 'til he was about to leave on it. Once she found out it was just for 3 days, she should have put on her big-girl panties and simply found a way to deal. For what it's worth, when my last 10-year LTR and I got together, for the first 9 months, it was a LDR. Every time I took him to the airport (every 3 weeks or so, after spending 2 or 3 days together), I'd cry and bawl like a baby. He hated it...thought it was silly. 3 years into our living-together-every-day relationship, I no longer cried when he'd have to leave on 2-3 week business trips. He wondered why...and commented he missed the tears. Later, after about the 5th year, we'd laugh about the fact that if too many months passed (8 or 9) without a business trip, I'd say, "Got a trip planned anytime soon? Need me to pack your bags, now...yanno, so you'll be ready?!?" It could be indicative of separation-anxiety, borne out of past relationship experiences. It could also be the still-in-the-honeymoon-stage-and-gotta-spend-every-minute-together syndrome...which'll fade (and you'll miss) over time. Hope it works out. Go on your trip; enjoy yourself. Either way (shadows of the past or present-day love glows), it's her issue to deal with.
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