"You're definitely attractive" vs "Im attracted to you" and more...

[MissingMyHubby]

this is one of those "if you have to ask, you're probably in the friendzone."

 

So Today, was texting my coworker and topic of attraction came up. She confided in me that our mutual coworker (a guy) of ours, she sees as only a friend. (He has no idea she feels this way.) He thinks he will get some from her eventually.

At any rate, I said bluntly "So how do you see me?"

 

Her response: Lol well I mean we're good friends and you're definitely not ugly, we're friends, lol why?

 

I layed it down calmy and said back something to the effect of "we were on the topic so I figured I'd ask for fun."

 

She asked "well how do you see me?"

 

I said "I'm definitely attracted, and im not just saying that."

 

A few texts later she says "You're attractive, trust me. You're definitely not *our boss who we don't like* so even more points, but hey, you've been in a long term relationship, I can't keep anyone."

 

Also the topic of a totem pole of attractiveness came up and we both put each other at the top of the totem pole as we rated our coworkers. (I don't need to be told it's childish banter, Just looking to see the interaction interpreted.)

 

My gut stays the same. Friendzone.

Edited January 14, 2016 by MissingMyHubby
no reason

[Jammer25]

Friendzone for sure. Her initial text that you posted, she sounded surprised and taken aback.

 

Her other text kinda deflected too, it comes off as if she was saying you were attractive in a platonic way.

[Grewd]

This could be moved out of the friendzone if you play your cards well, I see a potential there. She said "but hey, you've been in a long term relationship, I can't keep anyone", that sounds like a challenge to me. If I was interested I would probably have tried playing on that, responded with "I bet you can". While being a compliment it also suggests you're interested in trying and wouldn't give her up, the response to that would definitely determine if you're in the friendzone or not. It would also be subtle enough to not ruin the current level of interaction, keeping it to playful banter while still reading between the lines.

 

It's too late now to do this, but I'm sure you'll find other openings if you really want to and she'll make more if she want to.

[basil67]

I'm really confused about who said what. The way I read this, you're trying to start a lesbian thing with your co-worker - is this correct? If so, then you're correct that she only sees you as a friend.

[Erik30]

Sounds to me like she just wanted to be nice since she's probably not into women. (I'm assuming you're a woman) If she's not a lesbian or bi, you're not in any zone.

 

You might want to be careful discussing topics like this with her if you're her boss.

[MissingMyHubby]

I'm a guy! my username is weird...