Popsicle Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 I have two teens and not only are they easy good kids (1 is already out of the house too), they also already have a dad and are not in need of a dad and they would welcome their mother getting into a LTR. 1
katiegrl Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 He is still calling me every day and wants to see me. I think I shouldn't explain about the updated profile, we are not exclusive yet and he has a right to date others. So even though he did nothing technically wrong, I need to move on because of personal preference for a guy to have enough attraction to only want to date me from the start. I'm just going to tell him something generic "it's not going to work"... Oh man, you and I are so much alike.... that is exactly how I would handle it too. 1
joseb Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Oh man, you and I are so much alike.... that is exactly how I would handle it too. I think you should yell him the reason. Personally I find it amazing that a simple profile update would be a bigger deal breaker than 3 kids, but we all have different deal breakers I guess! 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 I think you should yell him the reason. Personally I find it amazing that a simple profile update would be a bigger deal breaker than 3 kids, but we all have different deal breakers I guess! They are all deal breakers to be honest. In fact up until now, I only dated childess men. It's hard to find any in my age group though so I am revising my criteria. One of the big problems with divorced men with kids, is that I don't connect to them at all on any ex w/kids/custody issues. They seem to spend a lot of time talking about it and I find it so tedious to listen to. It's all alien to me. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 The other thing that bothers me is that he is incredibly superficial. In his updated profile he wrote "attractive women only". If I saw that in the original profile, I wouldn't have replied. He also puts a huge amount of time into grooming/dressing himself. His exes tend to all have stripper/fake/trashy look. Not my thing. 1
joseb Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 They are all deal breakers to be honest. In fact up until now, I only dated childess men. It's hard to find any in my age group though so I am revising my criteria. One of the big problems with divorced men with kids, is that I don't connect to them at all on any ex w/kids/custody issues. They seem to spend a lot of time talking about it and I find it so tedious to listen to. It's all alien to me. Yeah i had to listen to a lot of that talk with my ex. I found it tedious too. And stressful as it always seemed to involve drama. All this plus he sounds a bit superficial, it sounds like there are a lot of reasons to not pursue this one tbh. 1
Emilia Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 The other thing that bothers me is that he is incredibly superficial. In his updated profile he wrote "attractive women only". If I saw that in the original profile, I wouldn't have replied. He also puts a huge amount of time into grooming/dressing himself. His exes tend to all have stripper/fake/trashy look. Not my thing. Oh god no, completely agree. 2
Leigh 87 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 :lmThe other thing that bothers me is that he is incredibly superficial. In his updated profile he wrote "attractive women only". If I saw that in the original profile, I wouldn't have replied. He also puts a huge amount of time into grooming/dressing himself. His exes tend to all have stripper/fake/trashy look. Not my thing. Hilarious. "Attractive " women only hey..... Well if it's any consolation, a man like him obviously must have found you "attractive ":rolleyes: 2
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 :lm Hilarious. "Attractive " women only hey..... Well if it's any consolation, a man like him obviously must have found you "attractive ":rolleyes: I have a feeling that if I had one bad hair day, I would be dumped
GunslingerRoland Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Is there a bit of irony here that you are posting a thread about how you aren't sure if you want to date him, yet now you are going to break up with him because he isn't 100% sure about dating you? 2
dobielover Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Is there a bit of irony here that you are posting a thread about how you aren't sure if you want to date him, yet now you are going to break up with him because he isn't 100% sure about dating you? Just a little bit of irony. She wants full investment from someone she's not fully invested in. OP: If that's the need (full investment from a man such that he's not interested in anyone else from the very start), then don't date anyone you yourself are not fully invested in too, no one you have any questions, doubts, reservations, or even so much as a "hmmm, I wonder," be ready to jump in all in with both feet. Otherwise, you're just a hypocrite. You have to be the thing you want to attract.
Redhead14 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 I recently became interested in a guy that is 43 but has 3 children. The oldest is 19yo girl and she still lives with him but he shares the custody of 2 others 50%. We click well and I started to feel really hopeful but once he told me about the children, I immediately starting freaking out (inwardly). I am not sure if I should continue. I was willing to accept a guy with a child but this is a lot. Dunno :/ How old are you Sunshine?
Gaeta Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 The other thing that bothers me is that he is incredibly superficial. In his updated profile he wrote "attractive women only". If I saw that in the original profile, I wouldn't have replied. He also puts a huge amount of time into grooming/dressing himself. His exes tend to all have stripper/fake/trashy look. Not my thing. Yuk ! Does he also sun tan? yuk yuk yuk. Tacky.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 How old are you Sunshine? Old. A bit younger than him but not by much.
tuxedo cat Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 The other thing that bothers me is that he is incredibly superficial. In his updated profile he wrote "attractive women only". If I saw that in the original profile, I wouldn't have replied. He also puts a huge amount of time into grooming/dressing himself. His exes tend to all have stripper/fake/trashy look. Not my thing. Good call nexting him.
Redhead14 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Old. A bit younger than him but not by much. Well, I can tell you that teenagers are often difficult to deal with even if you don't have them living with you all the time. If the parents are doing a good job of co-parenting, he's going to be very involved with them. I'm not sure that at your age, I'd want a ready-made family consisting of teenagers. I doubt I'd want a ready-made family consisting of little ones either. How long have you been dating him? What's the dating pattern been like? Is he making quality time to see you or is he squeezing you in? And, if it's early, do you know what it is he is looking for for himself out of his current dating journey. In other words, is he even thinking about a "real" relationship or just wanting casual. If that's the case, you two aren't on the same page in terms of goals anyway so this question goes away -- you move on.
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