Dente Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Need some advice on here my history. My ex and I been broken up for a year 4 months from a nine year relationship. Two months after the break up she entera a new relationship. Which i was upset and hurt and called her out on it which she tried to hide from me. I was really hurt and upset but i let her be. A month went by during April of last year she contact me. She said that she was hurt and didnt know if she wants to try again. I pleaded with her but stop and let her be.. During may she contact me again. She told me she was going to break up with the guy shes with and to give her a few days to recover. The next week she never broke up with him. The following months she would text me the samethings that she done with this guy and is breaking up but never happens. I went back and forth with her arguing that she needs to stop lying to me. She would replied that im just assuming whats happening in her life. We met a few times while she was with this new guy but we just talked Coming November i just got fed up with her constant leg pulling and told her that im moving on i showed her a few texts between the girl i was talking too not to rub in her face but to show her im done playing her games. During the months i would meet up with her and talk and apologize to her face to face about taking her for granted and hurting her. But we would talk before work and after work. She would tell me how her life has been. The following week in November she told me she was done with the guy and showed me texts and his facebook picture was changed. I believed her and asked her if we can meet up. We met up and had a good time together we kissed and talked for a while we even talked about counseling together which i set up for Jan. After we were done hanging out she ask me if i can get her cigarets from tge store. When i was in the store she texted me a miss text saying "Are you home yet" "I told them i had to get back home when you get there" i was piss she back at this again. She made an excuse up that was for her friend i was again devastated that shes at this again. Later that night i was accusing her of lying and i asked her im coming over your house she said fine come hes not her but i didn't go but i wasnt stupid i know who that text was for... The holidays came around she was in a the ER i told her if shes ok that im going to come see her. She was dont come here its my place of work my brother is going to pick me up. (Lying again) before she went into the hospital she was telling me how much she loves me and that she wants us back so i blew up her phone accusing her, she wished me a happy christmas and i did also but im latino so we celebrate the 24 at midnight. She celebrates during the day and was mad that i didnt wish her which i did. I told her im done playing these games and i regrett breaking it off with the girl i was talking too to deal with this mess and that ill start to date again she told me she wouldnt reach out if i was. I havent hear from her since after christmas a few weeks after xmas i didnt post anything on my IG so she blocks me from IG but i think she was doing it to catch my attebtion. I think she wanted me to date her while shes with this guy because she was telling me all these places she wanted to go and that this guy doesn't go out at all to no where line we used too. But he does provide. Now its been 3 weeks i went no contact did i ruined my chances to getting back with her or what should i do reach out or move on? Its been 1 year 4 months we broke up
quattrob Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 The question is why would you even consider another try with this girl.. you have given more than enough opportunities and chances for it to happen but each and every time she lied to you and made you feel like an idiot. Forget this girl, I feel more sorry than her actually.. no offence but you need to move on, stop living in the past.
Author Dente Posted January 14, 2016 Author Posted January 14, 2016 The question is why would you even consider another try with this girl.. you have given more than enough opportunities and chances for it to happen but each and every time she lied to you and made you feel like an idiot. Forget this girl, I feel more sorry than her actually.. no offence but you need to move on, stop living in the past. Any other input please?
autumnjess Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 (edited) What your story sounds like is that you're addicted to the love and the chase. I am going to be frank to you and say that you sound like a man who is not in love but in love with the idea of your girlfriend. You were in a 9 year relationship that did not work out. It sounds like you both have exhausted your relationship. The truth is it didn't work out the first time for some reason and you both are not taking responsibility for the core reason. You're not making active changes and moving forward. You're playing the cat and mouse relationship game. If you truly love her and want her back in your life you need to let her know, cut all ties with her and stop contact. Wish her a happy future and let her know that if she loved you she would not treat you like this. You need to actively make the necessary changes in yourself to move forward (change mentality, change your habits, change appearance, fix personal issues) so that later on when you still feel the same about her (give it a couple of years) you both can value your relationship and come back together and truly value each other. At the moment it sounds like a relationship full of disrespect. Back and forth, no resolution, game playing, addiction. Yes she was the love of your life but you don't deserve the abuse. Neither does she. She picked the other guy and wants to see you behind his back. Is that the kind of woman you want to be with? What if she gets back with you and start seeing other men and the cycle exists again? If you love her, you need to cut her out, let her understand and deal with her issues, wait for at least a year and maybe, only if you still feel that you're still in love with her, contact her again when you have new insight about yourself and your relationship. Hopefully at that point she would've changed too. Edited January 14, 2016 by autumnjess
geronimo Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 Dude your story hits close to home, the only difference between us is the fact that you dated your ex for about 9 years while mine was 5 years. My ex played the same games with me about 5-6months post BU where she got in contact with me and would say things like her relationship isn't going well or that shes not that into him anymore/shes going to breakup with him etc etc. I also f*cked up like you did and fed into it but soon realized that her words are nothing without action, so I just cut her off back in July completely and blocked/deleted her off of everything. Truth is if my ex (same goes for yours) did want to actually breakup with her bf and reconcile, she would do it without you being in her life. Also by you not being in her life, increases the chances of reconciliation because like they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm not saying go into NC with that mentality cuz you should do NC and do it for your own self and forget about her, if she comes back great, if not great. Thats the mindset I took when I went full NC back then (sure I broke it here and there to check up on her social media, but I never contacted her ever since). It was the best thing I could have ever done, cuz now 1 year and about 2 months post BU i feel a lot better and can confidently say that I am over her, and at this point if she were to ever come back, I HIGHLY doubt I would ever take her back cuz I dont want someone that gave up on me, and jumped into another guys arms.
Author Dente Posted January 14, 2016 Author Posted January 14, 2016 Dude your story hits close to home, the only difference between us is the fact that you dated your ex for about 9 years while mine was 5 years. My ex played the same games with me about 5-6months post BU where she got in contact with me and would say things like her relationship isn't going well or that shes not that into him anymore/shes going to breakup with him etc etc. I also f*cked up like you did and fed into it but soon realized that her words are nothing without action, so I just cut her off back in July completely and blocked/deleted her off of everything. Truth is if my ex (same goes for yours) did want to actually breakup with her bf and reconcile, she would do it without you being in her life. Also by you not being in her life, increases the chances of reconciliation because like they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm not saying go into NC with that mentality cuz you should do NC and do it for your own self and forget about her, if she comes back great, if not great. Thats the mindset I took when I went full NC back then (sure I broke it here and there to check up on her social media, but I never contacted her ever since). It was the best thing I could have ever done, cuz now 1 year and about 2 months post BU i feel a lot better and can confidently say that I am over her, and at this point if she were to ever come back, I HIGHLY doubt I would ever take her back cuz I dont want someone that gave up on me, and jumped into another guys arms. It sucks that they show no respect when they drag you along thanks for the great replies is there anymore feedback please
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