ogjk Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Hi, I found this forum while googling for advise on my situation. Thanks in advance for your input. I've been seeing this girl exclusively for a year now. Early in our relationship she told me that she was booking a trip to HI with her girl friend and asked if I wanted to come. For me it was too early to make plans that far out and I declined. She's asked several more times since then if I wanted to come, but I couldn't make it work with my schedule. When she originally told me about the trip she told me that she loves to go to a nude beach there (she goes every year for about 10 years now). I'm a pretty traditional, conservative guy and told her that would make me uncomfortable, she said that it wasn't a big deal for her, but if it was for me she wouldn't go. Later she asked what if she went and kept her suit on and I said that didn't help and she said ok. Fast forward to to 2 weeks before the trip and I asked her if she was still ok with not going to the beach. she got very defensive and when pushed said that I have her "commitment" that she won't be nude on the beach, but it's her favorite beach and she's going. Well 4 days into the trip she calls and tells me that she's trying not to be mad at me, but it's putting a damper on her vacation that she has to keep her suit on. To me nakedness is an intimate thing that doesn't have a place outside of a committed relationship. I don't get the appeal and it bothers me a lot that she is doing what she wants, knowing how much it bothers me. I've made lots of compromises and adjustments to things that were important to her. It also bothers me that she made a commitment and 4 days into a 2 week trip she was telling me she wants out of the commitment. Is this a red flag that she'll bow out of other commitments if they don't suit her anymore? Let me know what you think. Thanks again.
VeveCakes Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 I love going topless in Cuba. I would be seriously annoyed if my bf tried to stop me from enjoying this. That being said, it's not a nude beach. I have a biased opinion from this but I think you are over reacting about the nude beach.
Author ogjk Posted January 13, 2016 Author Posted January 13, 2016 I'm really more upset about the fact that she made a commitment to me and didn't stick to it. I guess its both really.
Gaeta Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 To me nakedness is an intimate thing that doesn't have a place outside of a committed relationship. I don't get the appeal and it bothers me a lot that she is doing what she wants, knowing how much it bothers me. I've made lots of compromises and adjustments to things that were important to her. It also bothers me that she made a commitment and 4 days into a 2 week trip she was telling me she wants out of the commitment. Is this a red flag that she'll bow out of other commitments if they don't suit her anymore? Let me know what you think. Thanks again. Doesn't really matter what nakedness means to you. It's not because it means ABC to you that you have to push your idealism down her throat. You knew early on that's what she likes to do. You didn't tell her at first that you'd end up forbidding it to her, didn't you. Then comes the trip and your requests. She didn't want to disappoint you so she agreed. When there she realized she had made a mistake to agree to something she's been enjoying for years and this just to appease your insecurities/prudishness. You're a lucky guy that she told you because if I had been her I would have let you simmer in your prudishness while I was sun tanning in my mono-kini.
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