Superman2024 Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 So within the last 3 weeks I’ve gotten lots of responses from women online, but they have all flaked out on me and I don’t know what in the world is going on. Many of them actually said they wanted to meet. I'm using Christian Mingle, OKC, and Tinder. Here are some recent examples: Crystal: Met in person once and didn’t hear from her for about 11 days, said she had a good time and wanted to go out again but isn’t responding to my second date request, never gave me her number which I always thought was odd Jenni: Got her number and she agreed to go out but cancelled, apparently because I was an inch too short for her Hannah: Got her number and she agreed to go out but cancelled due to work, said she still wanted to meet but would never confirm another day Audrey: She added me on Facebook and I messaged her about going out, she said thanks but was seeing someone at the moment Shea: Got her number and asked her out but no reply Sara: Asked her out and she said yes but seems to have backed off since she wants to confirm I’m real, she asked for my Facebook so I gave her my info and haven’t heard back Chelsea: Responded to my first message very enthusiastically and agreed to go out but wouldn’t confirm a day or share her number Ashley: Said she would like to go out but her car was broke down, the next day she said her car was fixed but asked if she could get to know me more before meeting, I agreed but I'm doubting she'll ever meet Laura: After a few good messages back and forth she didn’t respond to my request to meet There are actually more that I didn’t mention where I got an initial response and that’s about it. I know OLD is full of time wasters, flakes, and fake profiles but this is really out of hand. I don’t beat around the bush asking them out and many of them agree, but ultimately they don’t follow through. For the first meet I always ask if they would like to grab some ice cream or hot chocolate, which seems to get a positive reaction. I can’t really see anything I’m doing wrong here and it seems like nearly everyone online doesn’t take things seriously. The purpose of OLD is to meet in person! I’m getting a very good response rate of about 40% but of course that ultimately doesn’t matter if we never meet. Any ideas? Has OLD become just a big waste of time these days?
lilmissjava Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 It's a numbers game. You gotta keep going just like the rest of us. Frustrating? Yes. There is always someone better after they press next. You should do the same. Take a break. 1
PogoStick Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Might need more specific details to nail down a problem. Maybe you wait too long to ask them out, or plan the date too far in advance. Maybe you're messaging too much. Really, less is more with OLD. 2-3 messages, then some thing like "Hey I'd love to hear more about (messages 2-3). Want to meet for a drink this week?" Just short and to the point. After she agrees "Great my number is 123, what's yours? I'll call you to figure out the details". Always call to setup the date. If she won't give you her number then move on. She's not serious about meeting.
hippychick3 Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Yes, it is a numbers game and women can be very flaky (as well as men). Figure out what they all have in common (e.g., all super hot, revealing clothing, looking for someone with money, brand new to the site, etc.) and perhaps, think about going after a different "type" of woman. Also, I would not accept any Facebook friendships until you are way past the initial dating stage. Something is apparently turning women off on your fb. Check your pics, make it more private and leave that off the table. 1
lilmissjava Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Yes, it is a numbers game and women can be very flaky (as well as men). Figure out what they all have in common (e.g., all super hot, revealing clothing, looking for someone with money, brand new to the site, etc.) and perhaps, think about going after a different "type" of woman. Also, I would not accept any Facebook friendships until you are way past the initial dating stage. Something is apparently turning women off on your fb. Check your pics, make it more private and leave that off the table. ^^^ THIS. I couldn't agree more.
Author Superman2024 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Posted January 13, 2016 I really can't see any kind of pattern between all these experiences. With the last girl I met in person (Crystal) we messaged quite a bit for about 6 days leading up to the first date. They were all long messages only because I was reciprocating her message length. I messaged longer with her since I was on vacation when we started chatting. She also never gave me her number either even after the first date and saying she wanted to see me again. Typically I ask for a number after I get a couple of responses from someone. I'll text the next day and ask to go out so it's a pretty short process. If it's mid-week I'll ask about the weekend. If it's already the weekend I'll suggest going out mid-week. I'm finding virtually no women in their 20's want to talk on the phone anymore so I just gave that up and set dates up via text. I've also asked them out directly from the dating site without asking for a number first and the results are no different. I'm pretty selective about what I put on Facebook so there shouldn't be any issues there. I'm getting similar results whether they know about my FB or not. It's strange that I'm getting most of them to agree to go out but when it comes down to the specifics they disappear or cancel on me.
LoveRefreshed Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 I'm currently living with 2 girls and one of them is OLD. Let me LOL a moment and tell you how aloof and unsure women on OLD are. It was hilarious to finally see the truthful other side of the demon. She had one guy super pushy about meeting in private and she was going to, didn't realize how much of a dbag he was until her friend pointed it out. When I read some of it, I was shocked a guy couldn't be any more blatant about avoiding his house and wanting only to hook up and she almost fell for it! From his perspective, she all of a sudden flaked out but from hers, it's because her friend was like no way, that dude is bad news. She sits there and nexts guys and declines such things because she feels she's "not attracted to them", they "have most of it, but not all of it", or are generally "boring". But she is only talking to them on line, AND she is shooting way out of her league. I mean so far so it's sad. The dick guy was out of her league for sure too. I say that if you're a dude relying on more than a charming smile, you're best to avoid OLD.
Author Superman2024 Posted January 14, 2016 Author Posted January 14, 2016 It's interesting that you got to observe that from the other side. I'm always wondering what in the world the other person is thinking when they disappear for no good reason. Once recently admitted she was really nervous about meeting and ultimately cancelled because of "work". Another one initially accepted going out but then wanted to make sure I was real. She evidently had reservations even though I didn't give her any reasons to think I wasn't real! I can understand why she flaked on the pushy guy, but when it happens to guys like me there's no excuse. OLD is definitely making people superficial and ridiculously picky, particularly women since they receive most of the attention.
Recommended Posts