xxoo Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Gaeta, have you dated guys who push/pull before? He spent the night. Was the sex good? If so: actions rewarded. Maybe you just have to accept that you get off on this. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Curious: if "minor details" such as career goals are not part of what you pay attention to when choosing a mate, what are the qualities you look for in a potential partner? Does it suffice that he be able to woe you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 6 weeks of dating...one of those absent. I had a FWB years and years ago and even he knew my last name and we only met a few times. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 Curious: if "minor details" such as career goals are not part of what you pay attention to when choosing a mate, what are the qualities you look for in a potential partner? Does it suffice that he be able to woe you? He needs to be able to support himself. I am 50 yo. I don't need a man to provide me with a home and such I have already acquired that for myself. As long as he is hard working, honest, and support himself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Gaeta, have you dated guys who push/pull before? He spent the night. Was the sex good? If so: actions rewarded. Maybe you just have to accept that you get off on this. He has actually now learned that he can do this and come back and be forgiven and have sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 Gaeta, have you dated guys who push/pull before? He spent the night. Was the sex good? If so: actions rewarded. Maybe you just have to accept that you get off on this. The sex is always amazing with him. He's on top of my list of best lovers. Why is the sex a reward to him? You think a woman can't want to reward herself with good sex? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 But this phone thing makes no sense whatsoever. So either he: A. Lied to you about why you went MIA, or B. He's incapable of functioning like an adult, because an adult who's worried about losing his job would have rushed out to buy a new phone to make sure he's in contact with his employer... Neither of which are acceptable under any circumstances. His phone thing makes sense to me. I have seen the broken phone. I am the one who set up his online phone account so he could look at his bills he could not do that before. Saying he is incapable of functioning like an adult is just talking through your hat without anything to support this. You and I do not know what is his work situation. You and I don't know what made him forget about that job. You and I do not know what thought process he went through between Monday (extremely worried) to Sunday yesterday (it's no more important I am jumping to my next project). Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 The sex is always amazing with him. He's on top of my list of best lovers. Why is the sex a reward to him? You think a woman can't want to reward herself with good sex? Not just a reward for him. A reward for you, too. The "push" was paired with a "pull" for both of you. It's a common pattern some people have to keep the sex exciting, feeding on drama. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Ok IMO we're doing that predictable Loveshack thing now where voicing a healthy skepticism turns into prosecuting a criminal case or holding an inquisition. Maybe let's back it off a bit and let this grown woman be a grown woman. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 I remember a few years ago I started dating someone and it became a 20 pages thread. In the first pages people qualified him as a cheater and at the end of the thread they were qualifying him a member of a huge drug cartel smuggling drugs in my country. Turns out the guy was just a regular joe blow with no history. This same phenomena is happening here in this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Ok IMO we're doing that predictable Loveshack thing now where voicing a healthy skepticism turns into prosecuting a criminal case or holding an inquisition. Maybe let's back it off a bit and let this grown woman be a grown woman. Exactly. Gaeta can apparently do no right. She either cannot give him enough of the benefit of the doubt, or she can't get rid of the guy fast enough. And all any of us have to go on are the limited details of a woman we don't know. Sorry, but this is getting ridiculous. Gaeta, to use the common vernacular—you do you. You'll find out in time what kind of man he really is. If you wish to keep seeing him, do it. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I remember a few years ago I started dating someone and it became a 20 pages thread. In the first pages people qualified him as a cheater and at the end of the thread they were qualifying him a member of a huge drug cartel smuggling drugs in my country. Turns out the guy was just a regular joe blow with no history. This same phenomena is happening here in this thread. To be fair G you do have a talent for pulse-pounding epic saga threads. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 (edited) Gaeta, have you dated guys who push/pull before? He spent the night. Was the sex good? If so: actions rewarded. Maybe you just have to accept that you get off on this. I don't think that was fair. I think it's more this (below): ......you know I have been looking for a long time, and I met many men, and it never makes it past 4-5 dates, never makes it to exclusivity. Very very few times it made it to exclusivity + many dates, days and nights spent together. It's not the same as if we had dated 1 month and only had 4 dates. So because this has made it through to exclusivity, Gaeta is willing to give him the benefit of her doubt...and let this play out. Ya know, we could all speculate until hell freezes over, and we all have our opinions.... positive and negative. I think we're just gonna have to wait and see how this plays out.... Gaeta is a big girl, this is her life and she knows what she's doing. Good luck Gaeta, I truly hope this works out for ya. Edited January 18, 2016 by katiegrl 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted January 19, 2016 Share Posted January 19, 2016 Since the thread has just degraded into mudslinging at the thread starter i think we will close this up, if she wants it re-opened just alert on my post and ask, thanks all who participated 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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