ilovemusic3 Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Our first date was 3 hours, and he like me so much after it, and then he lost all interest after our next 3 hour long date. I didn't reveal anything weird, or drink too much, or look that much different. Where did I go wrong?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Why are you assuming you did something wrong? Perhaps he just felt you weren't compatible. Maybe he met someone else. Maybe he's just a tool. If you could give us more details about what happened on the second date and why you believe he lost interest, it would help us to provide better feedback. ie. did he just stop contacting you? Did he actually tell you he wasn't interested?
Author ilovemusic3 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Posted January 13, 2016 Is it because I didn't talk enough when we went for a walk, or I didn't have many interesting things to say?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Is it because I didn't talk enough when we went for a walk, or I didn't have many interesting things to say? I have no idea because you're still not providing enough information. Can you answer the questions from my previous post? That would help.
Gaeta Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Our first date was 3 hours, and he like me so much after it, and then he lost all interest after our next 3 hour long date. I didn't reveal anything weird, or drink too much, or look that much different. Where did I go wrong? You did nothing wrong. He was not sure about liking you on the first date so he gave you a 2nd date and then confirmed to himself you're not a match for him. It's not about doing something wrong, it's about chemistry and connection. He did not feel it with you. No more to it. You could be Jennifer Lawrence and he still would not have felt chemistry. Let it be and go to next. 1
soph-walker Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Was it a flirtatious experience? Did you hold hands or kiss?
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 The reality is you will never know. It could have been anything. It could be him. The reason doesn't matter. It was his choice. As long as you are comfortable with how you behaved, keep being yourself on dates. Eventually you will find somebody who clicks with you for who you are.
Author ilovemusic3 Posted January 14, 2016 Author Posted January 14, 2016 He wasn't just giving me another chance by going on another date because the message he sent after the first doesn't imply that. He contacted me a couple times after the second date, but never asked to go out again. And no normal guy ever feels a connection or chemistry with me and I just don't know why. How do other girls get guys to like them?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 Can you describe your dates with him in more detail? If you're projecting the impression that you're too shy or closed or quiet, that could have something to do with it. Are you chatty? Do you smile?
Gaeta Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 He wasn't just giving me another chance by going on another date because the message he sent after the first doesn't imply that. Of course his message did not imply your second date was him giving this a second try. This is something we process internally. I have given many second date chances and I would never ever say so. Then yes I would maybe exchange a 1 or 2 than I'd move on. He contacted me a couple times after the second date, but never asked to go out again. That's your answer. He didn't feel you were someone he wanted to pursue with after giving this 2 dates. That's what dating is about. If you keep on dating I assure you it's just a matter of time before you experience the same thing. And no normal guy ever feels a connection or chemistry with me and I just don't know why. How do other girls get guys to like them? It's not just having chemistry with you, it's about having mutual chemistry. What's the used of a man having chemistry with you if you don't feel the same. This is something that takes times. You can meet a man right away and have mutual chemistry or you can date for years (like me) and nothing really stick together.
smackie9 Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 Why didn't you ask him out for the third date? I would have if I liked him. 1
Author ilovemusic3 Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 I said hopefully we can do it again soon, so that was me asking for another date. And I know the chemistry needs to be mutual, and I like alot of the guys I meet, but nobody ever likes me unless they're real weird or something.
Gaeta Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I said hopefully we can do it again soon, so that was me asking for another date. No that's not you asking him for another date. Where and when is he suppose to meet you if that was an invitation? An invitation is: Would you like we go to the movies this Saturday? I was thinking of grabbing the early show. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I said hopefully we can do it again soon, so that was me asking for another date. And I know the chemistry needs to be mutual, and I like alot of the guys I meet, but nobody ever likes me unless they're real weird or something. Can you please describe your own behavior on these dates? At the moment, we can't really begin to guess what the issue might be because you haven't provided us with much context.
truth_seeker Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 no normal guy ever feels a connection or chemistry with me and I just don't know why. It's something about you if guys continuously feel no connection or chemistry with you. Provide more details about yourself.
SwordofFlame Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I read some of the OP's other posts and she states she has had no luck with dating, making any friends or getting a job for the last 5 years. It's no wonder no "normal" guys like her.
Redhead14 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 (edited) Our first date was 3 hours, and he like me so much after it, and then he lost all interest after our next 3 hour long date. I didn't reveal anything weird, or drink too much, or look that much different. Where did I go wrong? You simply need to accept the fact that there will not be a connection with the majority of guys you date. The same is true for the men. Not everybody clicks with each other. It is what it is. Don't take it personally when a guy doesn't keep seeing you after 1 or 2 dates. Don't entertain internal negative self-talk. And, how do you really know they were "normal" Anyway, you don't know and usually never know why it didn't click for them or why they move on. Could be a ton of other reasons that have nothing to do with you so don't assume it's you. Edited January 15, 2016 by Redhead14
Miss Peach Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I would recommend resetting your mindset about dating. It's not doing something to make some guy like you. It's about find the guy who likes you as-is. Who you also like as-is. There are a lot of lovely people I've dated 1-3 times. Most of them are people I would love to hang out and have a chat with but it doesn't mean there was sexual chemistry of I thought they would fit into my life in a relationship. It's nothing personal. They just weren't a good match for me. I'm sure guys out there say that about me too. That's OK. I like to think of dating like a puzzle. Sometimes you meet someone who doesn't fit at all with your puzzle piece. Sometimes they'll be close but still won't go together. The goal is to find one that fits well with yours.
Author ilovemusic3 Posted January 16, 2016 Author Posted January 16, 2016 (edited) But my puzzle piece never fits with any guy. I'm not just upset about him, nobody ever likes me. I'm average in looks and weight, but try to look nice. I'm probably not funny or flirty, but I don't ask them about marriage or say weird or inappropriate things. I ask them about their interests, job, travels. I tell them about mine. I just don't know where I go wrong. Edited January 16, 2016 by ilovemusic3
Gaeta Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 But my puzzle piece never fits with any guy. I'm not just upset about him, nobody ever likes me. I'm average in looks and weight, but try to look nice. I'm probably not funny or flirty, but I don't ask them about marriage or say weird or inappropriate things. I ask them about their interests, job, travels. I tell them about mine. I just don't know where I go wrong. It's the same with me honey. It's not gonna work till it does. That's how it is. I know people that met right away the right person and other people have to search for a very long time. Meanwhile, life goes on and you have to find happiness in other areas of your life. Don't let it beat you down. Each day you are getting closer to meeting your someone.
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