I'm Starting To Wonder if Being Middle Eastern is Stopping Me From Dating

[FerryCorsten]

Please read the whole thread because this is going to be very easy to misunderstand

 

 

I'm a 27 year old guy, extremely successful, intelligent, very fit, very stylish, have plenty of friends, etc. but I've never had any dating experience. In the years past, I could easily attribute it to lack of self esteem and confidence but I've raised that tremendously in the recent years and I feel great about myself. I still have had no luck at all in dating. I just don't come across any women who seem to be open or interested in me.

 

 

I am middle eastern but I'm fairly light skinned (I have olive complexion, not the dark brown complexion you see in people from Afghanistan or Pakistan). I don't have heavily ethnic features but you can tell I'm not white. I've had tons of people tell me that I'm very handsome, gorgeous, beautiful, yada yada. Culturally, I'm very "whitewashed" - I love American football, country music, etc.... I'm NOT religious at all so I really can't date a middle eastern woman. I live in a very wealthy predominantly white area and all my friends are white. Ideally, I would like to date someone white or Spanish (I love Latin women).

 

 

I just don't know what to make of myself. I've talked to other guys who are similar to me and they all find dating to be very easy - they all come across women who are interested in them and make it obvious. I am starting to wonder if me being non white is a huge part of the reason. Do women really have that much of a huge preference for white men?

 

 

I just want a girlfriend at this point, I don't even care about getting laid. I would be a fantastic boyfriend too I believe - I'm very loyal to my loved ones, affectionate, easy going, unselfish, etc....

[SwordofFlame]

Of course some women have racial preferences in dating. Men do as well and you yourself is an example. Stop worrying about things you can't control.

[FerryCorsten]

Of course some women have racial preferences in dating. Men do as well and you yourself is an example. Stop worrying about things you can't control.

 

 

My racial preferences are about things like culture and religion. I would be totally open to dating someone who was similar to me but was middle eastern or another race

 

 

I'm going after women who are similar to me in things like culture and religion but they're still not interested. The way I dress, act and speak is almost indistinguishable from my friends who are "All American"

 

 

Maybe white women just don't like my middle eastern features? I have olive skin, dark wavy hair, etc...

[Maggie4]

Maybe some women assume you are religious, and everything else that people assume about middle eastern men, how women are treated, etc. You might try taking the initiative to let them know right from the start, that you are not like that.

[preraph]

Some people simply aren't attracted to anyone who isn't their own race. The good news is that is getting better all the time. When I was young many moons ago no one much dated outside their race. And of course, Middle Eastern in the US is scary to a lot of people. I have a friend (married, sorry!) who is born and raised in California and Syrian with a notorious last name and she couldn't be more Americanized, no accent, not religious, etc. but she has faced some of this certainly. I will say she has told me that people in California are much more multicultural these days than other parts of the country seem to be. She says it's become fashionable in recent years out there to be blended or whatever. People's first impression is your looks and they have no idea you're fluent and nonreligious -- so of course, being outgoing and conveying that to new people as soon as possible is the best offence!

[FerryCorsten]

Some people simply aren't attracted to anyone who isn't their own race. The good news is that is getting better all the time. When I was young many moons ago no one much dated outside their race. And of course, Middle Eastern in the US is scary to a lot of people. I have a friend (married, sorry!) who is born and raised in California and Syrian with a notorious last name and she couldn't be more Americanized, no accent, not religious, etc. but she has faced some of this certainly. I will say she has told me that people in California are much more multicultural these days than other parts of the country seem to be. She says it's become fashionable in recent years out there to be blended or whatever. People's first impression is your looks and they have no idea you're fluent and nonreligious -- so of course, being outgoing and conveying that to new people as soon as possible is the best offence!

 

 

When I go out with my good looking All American white friends, literally the only difference is that their facial features are 100% white while my facial features have middle eastern look to them. We dress the same, act the same, speak the same way, have similar hairstyles, etc...

 

 

The strangest aspect of it is that I've had SOOO many people tell me that I'm gorgeous or extremely handsome. I get 3 or 4 clients every month at work (usually sweet older people) telling me that i'm super handsome and being shocked that I'm single.

[losangelena]

Welcome back. It's been a while.

[Gaeta]

Welcome back. It's been a while.

 

You beat me to it !

[StBreton]

Welcome back. It's been a while.

 

Yep same here

[Beach Guy]

I'm NOT religious at all so I really can't date a middle eastern woman.

Lots of ladies of Middle Eastern ancestry in your age range are also not religious like you.

[FerryCorsten]

Lots of ladies of Middle Eastern ancestry in your age range are also not religious like you.

 

 

usually, even if they're not religious themselves, they're families are heavily religious

[RecentChange]

I do think race can be a hinderence.

 

I'll be dead honest that I never really considered, or found myself attracted to middle eastern men..... Until.... I was!

 

I met a Persian guy, and over months he really grew on me. I was surprised by how attractive I found him. Now I find that guys with similar appearance really turn my head - where in the past, they wouldn't have gotten a second look.

[FerryCorsten]

I do think race can be a hinderence.

 

I'll be dead honest that I never really considered, or found myself attracted to middle eastern men..... Until.... I was!

 

I met a Persian guy, and over months he really grew on me. I was surprised by how attractive I found him. Now I find that guys with similar appearance really turn my head - where in the past, they wouldn't have gotten a second look.

 

 

People think that all middle eastern men have a beard, a giant nose and a unibrow

 

 

if you go to Turkey or Syria, you'll find tons of westernized beautiful people (both men and women). Plus we have a nice golden complexion year round

 

 

BTW I would totally be open to dating a christian/non religious Turkish or Syrian woman but, living in a predominantly white area, that's not going to be easy to find.

[loveflower]

Yes, that seems indeed very strange. maybe your ethnicity is the only factor? but I really doubt. A good man is hard to come by, I think most women wouldn't mind if a man is really good?

 

I think maybe there is something about you instead of your ethnicity? but we don't really know because we don't know what you really look like and come across.

 

I think the best idea is to ask a white female friend who knows you well and ask her hones opinion?

[Shining One]

Ethnicity will affect your dating pool. You have no control over this. Focus on the things you can control. I'm Indian and that makes me statistically undesirable in the area I live in. Thus, I approach far more women than average to achieve results.

[FerryCorsten]

Yes, that seems indeed very strange. maybe your ethnicity is the only factor? but I really doubt. A good man is hard to come by, I think most women wouldn't mind if a man is really good?

 

I think maybe there is something about you instead of your ethnicity? but we don't really know because we don't know what you really look like and come across.

 

I think the best idea is to ask a white female friend who knows you well and ask her hones opinion?[/QUOte]

 

People say this and it just baffles me that much more. I'm awesome in how I treat people - I'm generous, caring, friendly , affectionate, ferociously loyal, easy going, unselfish, etc... I also have the superficial things about as good as anybody my age (six figure income, luxury car, big house). My friends of 7 to 10 years love me to death because they know I would follow them to the gates of hell.

 

 

I just chalk it up to ridiculously fierce competition out there. Women all want 9/10 white guys, an 8/10 ethnic guy isn't particularly noteworthy