Kehv Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 OK so ex (6 yr relationship) dumped me out of the blue over 6 months ago to date a colleague. Everything seemed to be alright before she decided to pull the plug. We didn't have any contact for almost 3 months untill last saturday. The week before I finally started to feel good. I received the message past 1 AM midnight, which I think is an odd time to message your ex. "Hey How are you?" "Just saw you when I drove by your house" "Didn't you go to (friends name)'s Birthday"? (he didn't even celebrate his bday) I choose to ignore her message but I'm pretty curious why she messaged me. As far as I know she's still with the other guy but I figured out that she basically messaged me on the day they will be together for 6 months (and don't tell me women forget those dates!). So what do you make of it?
Thistooshallpass21 Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 OK so ex (6 yr relationship) dumped me out of the blue over 6 months ago to date a colleague. Everything seemed to be alright before she decided to pull the plug. We didn't have any contact for almost 3 months untill last saturday. The week before I finally started to feel good. I received the message past 1 AM midnight, which I think is an odd time to message your ex. "Hey How are you?" "Just saw you when I drove by your house" "Didn't you go to (friends name)'s Birthday"? (he didn't even celebrate his bday) I choose to ignore her message but I'm pretty curious why she messaged me. As far as I know she's still with the other guy but I figured out that she basically messaged me on the day they will be together for 6 months (and don't tell me women forget those dates!). So what do you make of it? Don't read too much into it man. She's probably attempting to relieve some guilt. If you are curious though, check her FB see if she's single, but think about this, even if she wants you back, why would you want to go back. She left you for another guy, which is quite ****ty. Now that things might not be going as plan with this douche bag, she comes crawling back? Come on man **** that, there a way better girls out there, stick to NC. The right girl is right around the corner and she's coming as fast she can to you.
Author Kehv Posted January 12, 2016 Author Posted January 12, 2016 Don't read too much into it man. She's probably attempting to relieve some guilt. If you are curious though, check her FB see if she's single, but think about this, even if she wants you back, why would you want to go back. She left you for another guy, which is quite ****ty. Now that things might not be going as plan with this douche bag, she comes crawling back? Come on man **** that, there a way better girls out there, stick to NC. The right girl is right around the corner and she's coming as fast she can to you. Yeah you are right and I know all of this. I guess it would give me some satisfaction if she comes crawling back. I won't check her facebook because I can't stand her being happy with someone else (yet) so I dont want to see their pictures. Also, facebook doesn't always tell the truth.
Thistooshallpass21 Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 Yeah you are right and I know all of this. I guess it would give me some satisfaction if she comes crawling back. I won't check her facebook because I can't stand her being happy with someone else (yet) so I dont want to see their pictures. Also, facebook doesn't always tell the truth. You're right about Facebook, just try to stick to NC and not think too much about it. Unless you're losing sleep over then at that point you could humor her and see what her motive of coming into contact with you truly is.
Author Kehv Posted January 12, 2016 Author Posted January 12, 2016 You're right about Facebook, just try to stick to NC and not think too much about it. Unless you're losing sleep over then at that point you could humor her and see what her motive of coming into contact with you truly is. Yeah I suppose if she really wants me she will contact me again and she gets frustrated because I'm ignoring her. If not, then I know she was just checking up on me.
Been Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Or she's getting pissed off at him and is trying to crack the door open for you. Close the door. I dated a woman who would break up with me and then come running back the moment her new relationship would start to go south. I was like her security blanket. Don't be that guy.
sowhynot Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Breadcrumb. ignore and block whatever m.o. it came to you. The only time I'd get excited if an ex. contacted me would be if it was with 'The Complete 180' as detailed in the pinned NC guide - and if I hasn't moved on or ex. had done the dirty by showing herself of be of low quality by cheating, lying, picking her toes in bed, etc etc etc . . . . Hasn't happened to me yet though, and reading through a lot of post, neither has it to a shed load of other dumpees either !
Thistooshallpass21 Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Breadcrumb. ignore and block whatever m.o. it came to you. The only time I'd get excited if an ex. contacted me would be if it was with 'The Complete 180' as detailed in the pinned NC guide - and if I hasn't moved on or ex. had done the dirty by showing herself of be of low quality by cheating, lying, picking her toes in bed, etc etc etc . . . . Hasn't happened to me yet though, and reading through a lot of post, neither has it to a shed load of other dumpees either ! It happens more than you think, just to the people that it happens to don't usually post about it. Happened to me, I stopped visiting this site, then we broke up again and here I am. Anything can happen. What is to be done is on the discretion of the OP. OP you know her the best, only you can know what to do. 1
Silver_star Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 If you know she is still with him, and you are still hurting. Don't respond to her messages. It could be a multiple of things, but most likely she just wants your attention and it doesn't mean more than that.
Chi townD Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Breadcrumbs dude. She's trying to get you in the "friend zone". She's pulling on the leash to make sure the dog is still there. Bottomline, she's with someone else, so she has NO Business trying to contact you. Right? Breadcrumbs. Ignore it.
ExtraSpice Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Seems more like breadcrumbs. When people instantly jump to another relationship, sometime down the road the emotions resurface. It is easy to forget when you meet someone new and you feel excited and wanted but they don't last. The text seemed so nonchalant and could have a multitude of reasons behind it. I think for now it is best to just ignore it and think of it as purely breadcrumbs. Esp if she is till with someone else. I have put myself through a good amount of headache wondering whether texts are breadcrumbs or they mean something more. And it leads you no where. 1
Author Kehv Posted January 13, 2016 Author Posted January 13, 2016 Yeah ok so it has been a few days since she messaged me and I ignored her. My ex had a picture of herself on Whatsapp when she did and I probably should've blocked her because now that picture isn't of her alone anymore but with the other guy Yeah it hurts....
Marc878 Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 Playing games. You should have blocked her. She dumps you for another she's not worth another second of your time. No trust, no future.
Silver_star Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 My ex still contacts me after 4 months. He is seeing someone else too. (The girl he left me for). He will either say : Hey how is it going? or tell me about his recent purchases. He pretends to care about my life, but really he just wants me to know how well he is doing and make sure I am still interested in him. Like thanks, you haven't hurt me enough. It's totally self indulgent behavior. They don't care about your feelings at all. Its all about them. AND THAT is why people go strict No Contact and block exes from every way of contacting them. Otherwise you have to deal with the inevitable hurt of getting the update about every new relationship and thing that happens to them, and meanwhile you are going through actual grief on your own. Sorry she is doing this. It sucks. Chalk it up to their crazy ego problems and them needing attention. Don't give it to them anymore, and choose to free your time and attention up for a girl who deserves it when the time comes.
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