Meechie Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 I don't really feel like I have anyone I can talk to because I think everyone will think I am stupid. I recently found out 2 days after Christmas that my boyfriend had a mistress. He started an argument and then said him and our son were going to see his friend. When he got back he told me that they went to see his mistress. He said she's been asking to meet his son and said she bought him a Christmas present and wanted to give it to him. I kept calling his phone and he wouldn't answer. He had taken our son for almost 4 hours. We got into a big argument. The next weekend when I seen him he tells me he is so in love with me and he doesn't love her. We had sex then he told me he was leaving to break it off with her because she kept texting his phone. After having sex he went into the bathroom for like 10-15 minutes to wash himself off. I called him later that night and he would not answer the phone. After several days of him not answering my phone calls, I told him I couldn't do this anymore. It has been like this off and on for a while now and though I let him know how much this hurts me he says he can't stop seeing her right now. I am currently living with him, he often does not come home and spends the night with her. I have gotten to the point where I m emotionally numb. He eventually came back this Sunday we got along and he says he wants to move in with me and our son. He says he can't stop messing with her and he knows I can't understand. He told me when we move into our own place together he will stop. I am afraid of taking this big leap because what if he doesn't stop, then I'm left feeling stupid. I love him nd it hurts me though now I have gotten to the point where I just try not to think of it so it doesn't upset me as much. He says he loves me and even sort of acts like it, but I don't know why if he doesn't love her he can't leave her alone. I need advice from what I have said what do you guys think I should do because I am feeling very lost right now. I don't know if I am making the right decision by agreeing to be with him while he sleeps with both of us. Also I don't understand the difference between breaking it off today or a couple months from now. If anyone has been in a similar situation please let me know what you did nd how it turned out. I know I am a very pretty and smart girl and could find someone else, but I don't want to, in my heart I want to believe that we can work things out. I have decided that I'll give him six months and that means it would have been a year that he's been messing with her that if it is still going on I will leave. But honestly I don't know if I could make it that long. Please, please, please, I am desperately in need of some advice.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 OP, with all due respect, give your head a gigantic shake. This is an awful situation and he's a horrible partner. He took your son to meet his girlfriend? OH H3LL NO! Do not move in with him. He won't stop. He doesn't love or respect you enough to give up his girlfriend. Sorry, but you will live to regret that decision. You need to end this relationship and work on your self-esteem. Right now it's in the toilet. I can't even imagine entertaining this idea for one hot second. He's a jerk. Plain and simple.
VeveCakes Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 Why can't he stop before you move in together? He isn't going to change once that happens.
Chi townD Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 I am currently living with him, he often does not come home and spends the night with her. I have gotten to the point where I m emotionally numb. He eventually came back this Sunday we got along and he says he wants to move in with me and our son. He says he can't stop messing with her and he knows I can't understand. He told me when we move into our own place together he will stop. Okay, a little confused. Are you living with him or is he living with you.....what's the deal?
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