Banray Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 I've been seeing this girl since June 2015. We see each other twice a week, with Sunday being our day to spend with each other as it suits our work schedules. I've felt comfortable with her since the beginning. We communicated well, never really argued and generally got along well. I've treated her with the most respect that I could, basically treated her like a princess. Beginning of December, she seemed to be more distant, even when we would break form routine and go out to supper. She would start picking at things like not consulting her as to how we would dress for the date. I let it slide, thinking she was having a bad date. Shortly after, she became irritated easily, and became bossy. We continued having sex, but it was less frequent. We spent alot of time together during the holidays, and had a good time. I felt like we were back on track, and it was nice to see her enjoying herself as well. I payed good money for a bracelet I bought her, and she seemed to love it. She was moody at times, but it was short lived and we got along. This past weekend, I went to pick her up to go shopping, and supper. I knew something was off, as soon as she got in the car. She wasn't smiling. I asked her what was wrong and she said it was nothing. She then began to criticize my driving, and asking why I chose to go a certain route. Then she literally became a backseat driver. She did this to a lesser extent, but it was over the top this time. Got to the mall, and she began taking small digs at me, even after I went out of my way to buy her a gift. Back to the car and on our way to the restaurant, she started being moody and talkative again. She pulled out her cell phone and began testing her friends. Had supper at a nice restaurant, where she made an effort to be nice, but was still talking down to me. I just gave her a look with a smile, and decided not to pour more fuel on the fire. We get back to my place, and she seemed to be more calm. She still was on her cell texting her friend. Suddenly she said she wasn't feeling well and she wanted to go home (we don't live together) She left leaving me puzzled. Next day she texts me excusing herself for her attitude, blaming it on her not feeling well, and promised she would make it up to me the next time were together. Said she was going to text me later that night, and never did. In fact I haven't heard from her since. Since then I've been reevaluating our relationship. I feel used, and disrespected. I feel she is taking me for granted, and feel like breaking things off. I'm just curious as to why she would act this way, it's sudden and unnecessary. I would prefer that she just tell me if she doesn't want to be with me anymore. I'm just wondering what prompted all this. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 There is only one way to find out: You have to talk to her. If she really isn't feeling well, cut her some slack. 1
Redhead14 Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 I've been seeing this girl since June 2015. We see each other twice a week, with Sunday being our day to spend with each other as it suits our work schedules. I've felt comfortable with her since the beginning. We communicated well, never really argued and generally got along well. I've treated her with the most respect that I could, basically treated her like a princess. Beginning of December, she seemed to be more distant, even when we would break form routine and go out to supper. She would start picking at things like not consulting her as to how we would dress for the date. I let it slide, thinking she was having a bad date. Shortly after, she became irritated easily, and became bossy. We continued having sex, but it was less frequent. We spent alot of time together during the holidays, and had a good time. I felt like we were back on track, and it was nice to see her enjoying herself as well. I payed good money for a bracelet I bought her, and she seemed to love it. She was moody at times, but it was short lived and we got along. This past weekend, I went to pick her up to go shopping, and supper. I knew something was off, as soon as she got in the car. She wasn't smiling. I asked her what was wrong and she said it was nothing. She then began to criticize my driving, and asking why I chose to go a certain route. Then she literally became a backseat driver. She did this to a lesser extent, but it was over the top this time. Got to the mall, and she began taking small digs at me, even after I went out of my way to buy her a gift. Back to the car and on our way to the restaurant, she started being moody and talkative again. She pulled out her cell phone and began testing her friends. Had supper at a nice restaurant, where she made an effort to be nice, but was still talking down to me. I just gave her a look with a smile, and decided not to pour more fuel on the fire. We get back to my place, and she seemed to be more calm. She still was on her cell texting her friend. Suddenly she said she wasn't feeling well and she wanted to go home (we don't live together) She left leaving me puzzled. Next day she texts me excusing herself for her attitude, blaming it on her not feeling well, and promised she would make it up to me the next time were together. Said she was going to text me later that night, and never did. In fact I haven't heard from her since. Since then I've been reevaluating our relationship. I feel used, and disrespected. I feel she is taking me for granted, and feel like breaking things off. I'm just curious as to why she would act this way, it's sudden and unnecessary. I would prefer that she just tell me if she doesn't want to be with me anymore. I'm just wondering what prompted all this. Some people struggle with the holidays for various reasons -- remembering loved ones who have passed away or they are busy and stressed. Things should be calming down now. Continue to observe. At some point, open a conversation with her to ask her if there is anything bothering her and that you'd noticed a change in her over that period of time. Be supportive and listen. Are you aware of anything difficult she's experienced in her life in the past or recently that could be triggered around the holidays? 1
Robratory Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) This past weekend, I went to pick her up to go shopping, and supper. I knew something was off, as soon as she got in the car. She wasn't smiling. I asked her what was wrong and she said it was nothing. She then began to criticize my driving At this point, you pull over at the first bus stop you see and tell her to get out of the car. Oh, I'm serious. Why do you have to put up with her crap? You've already expressed a willingness to listen. If she's not willing to talk, then what else is there to say? Nothing. I feel used, and disrespected. Well, of course. She disrespected you, and I don't mean in a gangsta kind of way. She disrespected you as a human being. I'm just curious as to why she would act this way, it's sudden and unnecessary. Don't try to figure crazy people out. Leave that to the psychologists. Frankly, if I were you, I wouldn't contact her, and when she contacted me, I'd tell her it was over. Just like that. No long conversation. Just good-bye. I see that my opinion is at odds with the other posted ones, who advise waiting and seeing on the grounds that it might be the holidays that have her down. I'm not of that opinion because what you describe is a pattern of bitchiness, not a one-time thing that can be excused with "I had a terrible day today." And if she really had a good reason to be moody, she should have told you, instead of refusing to talk. Edited January 13, 2016 by Robratory 1
bubbaganoosh Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 OK you can let it go after she explained but if (for example) you go pick her up and she starts ragging on you about the direction, your clothes or driving then turn the car around take her home and tell her that she left her manners somewhere in her house, and until she finds them, don't call. There's no excuse for bad manners. 2
Maxtor Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 If she is picking on you for no reason, tell her to go away. Tired of women who take their bf's for granted. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Something is going on with her. Talk to her, in person. Let her know you've noticed some big changes and ask if something is on her mind. You could just be seeing who she really is now. Maybe she is experiencing some external stress and doesn't really recognize how different she is. Perhaps she has indeed lost interest and doesn't know how to tell you. Either way, you can't carry on like this. 2
zenguy Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I would confront someone at the first sign of them doing something I don't like. Don't let something become a pattern. If they persist, then you end it(assuming it's not some trivial thing, and verbal abuse definitely isn't trivial). Everyone should have enough respect for themselves to not let themselves be caught in a horrid relationship.
truth_seeker Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Don't try to figure crazy people out. Leave that to the psychologists. Frankly, if I were you, I wouldn't contact her, and when she contacted me, I'd tell her it was over. Just like that. No long conversation. Just good-bye. I see that my opinion is at odds with the other posted ones, who advise waiting and seeing on the grounds that it might be the holidays that have her down. I'm not of that opinion because what you describe is a pattern of bitchiness, not a one-time thing that can be excused with "I had a terrible day today." And if she really had a good reason to be moody, she should have told you, instead of refusing to talk. 1) I agree with you. Great point. I've tried to "understand" crazy women and it only made me crazy. 2) Agree. Drop her. 3) The keyword here is "pattern"... why put up with this pattern of unhealthy behavior? The problem here is that the OP is invested into her emotionally which is making it hard for him to let go.
joseb Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 The first thing I noticed is that you "treat her like a princess". Be careful what you wish for, sounds like you have one now. Ok just noticed the date of post, OP any updates?
preraph Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Sounds like what happens when the new wears off and familiarity begins to breed contempt. Congratulations, you're in a real relationship!
Alamo657 Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 I'm just curious as to why she would act this way, it's sudden and unnecessary. I would prefer that she just tell me if she doesn't want to be with me anymore. I'm just wondering what prompted all this. In other words, she's not in love with you, and is currently preparing her exit. For now, the sex and company are ok with her. 1
truth_seeker Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 In other words, she's not in love with you, and is currently preparing her exit. For now, the sex and company are ok with her. You just nailed it on the head. Wait till she finds her new man. She'll blow up on OP, cause a fight, break up with him, and all the blame will be on him for her leaving. Gotta love women who play it like this... If OP were smart he'd beat her to the punch and walk away now.
Alamo657 Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 You just nailed it on the head. Wait till she finds her new man. She'll blow up on OP, cause a fight, break up with him, and all the blame will be on him for her leaving. Gotta love women who play it like this... If OP were smart he'd beat her to the punch and walk away now. Yeah that's what manipulative, insecure, shady women do (and in my experience, that's a good 25% of them). Prepare the scene for cheating, then blame their official for being or not being this and that - shattering his sense of self worth in the process - and then leave him to go and have some wild kama sutra with next guy. Go wonder why so many men are broken nowadays, women play with their hearts, crush them, just for GIGS.
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