Is this a break-up? (College)

[hopeless_sap]

Disclaimer: Extremely inexperienced with relationships (never dated until past year) and young (senior in college).

 

So back in November I finally found the courage to ask out a girl who's in a club with me, she was definitely interested (at least at first, a lot of flirty texting). We probably were engaged in flirtatious behavior for almost a month beforehand (lots of texts, lots of random convos running into each other that lasted way longer than normal).

 

We went on dates once a week for 4 weeks, they were definitely dates and not just friendly dinners (I made sure to establish that). After thanksgiving break, we go on another dinner date, I wanted to spend more time with her (not just trying to get into her pants, I genuinely just wanted to spend more time with her) after dinner but she said she was swamped with work due to impending final projects and final exams. I again insisted that I wanted to keep hanging out a bit longer, but after enough of her complaints I acquiesced. She is extremely academically driven (as was I before senior year...), so it was understandable.

 

I apologized later for keeping her a bit longer (like 15 mins longer) from getting back to work over text. I checked up on her the next weekend, wished her good luck on the upcoming finals week.

 

After finals week was over, I established contact again during winter break, we exchanged a few back and forth texts, still a bit flirty in nature, so I was under the impression things were going fine. On Christmas day (or late night Christmas eve, different time zones), she sends a text, again playful and flirty, discussing what I was doing for Christmas/break. I responded, asked what she was doing for break... no response.

 

I text a few days later asking why she hasn't responded, still no response, I figure something is going on in her life and I'll leave it be until school is back in session.

 

Got back to school this past weekend. I text her asking if she wants to get dinner this week, no response. I look on facebook and consider facebook messaging her (maybe her phone was broken??), then I realize that she has "turned off chat" for me (means when she's online it says she was online 1m ago, but on fb messenger for phone it still says "active now"). I definitely remember early in winter break I saw her online (on my computer, so chat was not turned off for me). It's possible that she turned it off for everybody (or everybody but __________) I suppose as well.

 

So I'm just confused now, literally in the middle of a text string about what we were each doing for Christmas I get zero contact from her, been that way for almost 3 weeks now.

 

I figure one of the following has happened:

1. Something serious is occupying her mind (like on the level of death of family member).

 

2. She doesn't want to think about relationship over winter break, still busy unpacking/getting settled for spring semester.

 

3. She met another guy during winter break (I guess that's my "stress vision" worst case scenario).

 

4. She just isn't interested anymore but instead of coming out and saying something definitively, ignores me hoping that I get the message.

 

 

At this point I think it's scenario #4 but maybe it's just heartache/pessimism getting to me. Is this normal? Is this how people in relatively early stages of dating break things off??

 

To be honest I probably became emotionally attached too early and was afraid to quickly physically engage (I come from a very conservative familly...). I'm already mentally preparing myself to just get over it, it hurts too damn much for me to think about regularly, and the fact that nothing has become any clearer after the semester started really dampens any optimism I had.

[d0nnivain]

College relationships are fluid at best. She may also be projecting that she is not interested in what happens after graduation.

 

 

Whatever her reasons, whatever the formalities, just assume she wants nothing else to do with you & leave her be. You can smile & nod to be polite if you see her on campus or at your club meetings but that's it.

[hopeless_sap]

Yeah, sounds like a good idea.

 

After more thinking in retrospect I don't think she's looking for a relationship with a significant level of time commitment right now, I just was too lovestruck to see the signs earlier .