GottaBeBoosted Posted January 11, 2016 Posted January 11, 2016 I've always been under the impression that the guy should say "I love you" first. It seems like the girl is always automatically assumed as needy if she says it first... Thoughts?
d0nnivain Posted January 11, 2016 Posted January 11, 2016 I have said it first. Unless it's too early like a week or so in, I always thought the person who said it first was brave & secure.
Author GottaBeBoosted Posted January 11, 2016 Author Posted January 11, 2016 That is definitely a good way to think about it.
CalvinM Posted January 11, 2016 Posted January 11, 2016 If a guy wants the relationship to last, he shouldn't say it until she does. 2
Glitters Posted January 11, 2016 Posted January 11, 2016 The guys usually say it first. Many are insincere 1
basil67 Posted January 11, 2016 Posted January 11, 2016 I'm a woman. I didn't know there was a rule - and I've certainly said it first 3
hippychick3 Posted January 11, 2016 Posted January 11, 2016 I've never said it first myself. I don't think there is a "rule" per say, but I've always preferred the man say it first. The men who did say it first gave me the impression they preferred it that way...which is NOT to say there are men out there who feel differently. 1
RecentChange Posted January 11, 2016 Posted January 11, 2016 Never paid any attention to rules. And despite dating a bit, "I love yous" have been exchanged with only two people. The first, we were trying to describe how smitten we were with each other, and I love you came out. I don't even remember who said it first. Maybe him? It was basically the same time. Second guy, he said it first, and said he was freaked out to say it, thought it was too early and that I would kick him out of bed! But instead I said that I loved him too. 1
Qboro90 Posted January 11, 2016 Posted January 11, 2016 I've always preferred to have the girl say it first. But through our interactions I'll let her know/make her feel safe in saying it so that she doesn't feel like it's a risk. How I do that is difficult to explain in words but it's been successful in my own life. I've always had a feeling (perhaps unwarranted and stereotypical) that if a guy says it first, it diminishes the "allure" that the girl may have for you, even if it's subconsciously 1
sin miedo Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 My GF dropped the L word first - over text message (dumb, dumb, dumb!!). Luckily for her, the feeling was mutual, but I saved the reciprocation for when we were together in person...as it should be! 2
Author GottaBeBoosted Posted January 12, 2016 Author Posted January 12, 2016 These responses are so great! It's so good to hear the different feelings on what could be a touchy subject. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. Neither one of us has said the "L" word yet. Although, we have come close several times. He is a bit of a commitment phobe, so I understand why he's cautious to open that door. He has been hurt quite a bit in the past. But, he has been with me 2 years now & so he's definitely doing come a long way.
Author GottaBeBoosted Posted January 12, 2016 Author Posted January 12, 2016 I've always preferred to have the girl say it first. But through our interactions I'll let her know/make her feel safe in saying it so that she doesn't feel like it's a risk. How I do that is difficult to explain in words but it's been successful in my own life. I've always had a feeling (perhaps unwarranted and stereotypical) that if a guy says it first, it diminishes the "allure" that the girl may have for you, even if it's subconsciously This is nice to know! That guys are really ok with a girl saying it first. Also, I understand what you're saying about the allure. I know that sounds terrible, but it's true. I don't want a guy to tell me he loves me if he doesn't really mean it. Sometimes the jump the gun with it i think. Kind of like what Glitters was saying..
sunshine2 Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 This is a good question. 2 years and no I Love You? WOW, that is a long time to wait. I have never thought about it much until dating my current BF. We have been together for 10 months and neither of us have said I love you to each other. The closest we have gotten is when he was teasing me about something and I was getting a little irritated and he said LOVE YOU! But I didn't count that, even though it was a shock to hear. He has also been hurt pretty badly by his X wife and I feel like he has walls up with his emotions. I thought 1 year would be as long as I would wait for him to say this, I have decided that I am not going to. Other relationships I had it just flowed naturally. Most the time I do wait for my man to say it first. Maybe Im just old fashioned. My last BF said it after 2 months, which was a bit too soon, now Im waiting and waiting... LOL 1
RedRobin Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 (edited) It's always been the man in my relationships, usually within a few months. If I have to wait more than six months before he says it, I am looking elsewhere. It's why I broke up with my last BF. Edited January 12, 2016 by RedRobin 1
Author GottaBeBoosted Posted January 14, 2016 Author Posted January 14, 2016 This is a good question. 2 years and no I Love You? WOW, that is a long time to wait. I have never thought about it much until dating my current BF. We have been together for 10 months and neither of us have said I love you to each other. The closest we have gotten is when he was teasing me about something and I was getting a little irritated and he said LOVE YOU! But I didn't count that, even though it was a shock to hear. He has also been hurt pretty badly by his X wife and I feel like he has walls up with his emotions. I thought 1 year would be as long as I would wait for him to say this, I have decided that I am not going to. Other relationships I had it just flowed naturally. Most the time I do wait for my man to say it first. Maybe Im just old fashioned. My last BF said it after 2 months, which was a bit too soon, now Im waiting and waiting... LOL That sounds a lot like us! I've said before "you know you love me", I didn't count that either. I think I'm old fashioned too, I'd rather him just wait until he's ready to say than to pressure him to.
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