I feel really bad leaving my alcoholic girlfriend.

[JimmyJam]

I will try to make this long story as short as possible...

 

We met 2.5 years ago and started dating 2 years ago. After a about 15 months of shear blissful love she wanted out because of kid challenges on my side. So, lovingly I let her go. There really seemed to be other challenges deep in her, but it wasn't coming out.

 

After about 2 months she reached out to me to apologize. Saying it was selfish of her. So i said i wanted to keep trying. She said she did to but wanted to go slow. And we went really slow.

 

I knew she had met someone that kept her busy during our break, but i didnt think that was serious. After all how could someone recover from what we had so fast? Now looking back, she must have met him before we were done. But i still don't blame her as I knew my child was needing more maturing to accept this woman into our lives.

 

Anyway we communicated fairly often during the third month after we broke up. Then one day she called me to tell me she was an alcoholic and had been for 10 years. I had no idea!!!! i mean she always had a glass of while or two with dinner. Then she told me she always snuck off to drink more. I felt so dumb. But i loved her and told her we can still make this work. We dont need any alcohol to have fun.

 

For month 4 through 6 after our breakup.... this is the really hard part.

 

I was told by her repeatedly that she wanted a future together and to get back to a point where we cold talk about marriage But that her first priority was to get sober. I agreed. So i helped and encouraged her through multiple relapses.

 

i learned that other "friends" were helping too. She kept a lot hidden from me. Details about these other friends, when she relapsed etc. The "relationship" i was now having with her was more about her than me. I lost myself. I was trying everything i could to love her and get her sober and back to normal.

 

Dramatic conclusion: Trust was becoming a major concern of mine. and one night when she fell asleep, her phone was blowing with texts from another man. I saw all the texts from the recent week from him....they were very, very sexual in nature. I was devastated, So i left. That was 5 days ago.

 

Right now I feel that she has been so lost.....I feel like the only person that is stable in her world...and i still love her. I know that i need to get out and get help for me.

 

But I cant help feeling like I am abandoning this person that I love, when they need me most.

 

For all you that can, please pray for me and for Angie to get the help she needs.

 

Jim

[PegNosePete]

But I cant help feeling like I am abandoning this person that I love, when they need me most.

Yet the person who claims to love you, has most definitely abandoned you, disrespects you on a daily basis, cheats on you and uses you as a crutch whilst carrying on with another dude behind your back.

 

Seriously. WTF. Dump her man. Not because she is an alcoholic, but because she is unfaithful. You would need a head full of rocks to carry on seeing this woman after how she's behaved.

 

For all you that can, please pray for me and for Angie to get the help she needs.

I don't believe in prayer. I believe in taking positive action to resolve the situation. I hope you can find the strength to do what is necessary to free yourself.

[carhill]

IME, the female alcoholics I've known, dead or alive, have always found or replaced boyfriends or husbands quite rapidly since they have qualities men find attractive, even with the alcoholism and, yup, infidelity. The key is there's always another guy who wants to, well, you know.

 

Don't worry about her. She'll be fine. Bonus if she lives long enough to find sobriety. Stick to your boundaries and live a life that's healthy for you.

[StrangerThanFiction]

There's no reason to feel guilty. Whether you're there or not it's up to her to get sober, nobody else can do it for her. Obviously you weren't enough "support" for her so she found it with multiple other people. That's not on you, that's on her. You mentioned you have a child, that should be your focus. Raising a kid is hard enough on it's own, you don't need someone like this in your life who's going to add more instability. You're obviously a caring person, so I'm pretty confident that you'll find someone who won't bring more monkeys to the circus and who will think having just you is enough.

[rana-rana]

I will try to make this long story as short as possible...

 

We met 2.5 years ago and started dating 2 years ago. After a about 15 months of shear blissful love she wanted out because of kid challenges on my side. So, lovingly I let her go. There really seemed to be other challenges deep in her, but it wasn't coming out.

 

After about 2 months she reached out to me to apologize. Saying it was selfish of her. So i said i wanted to keep trying. She said she did to but wanted to go slow. And we went really slow.

 

I knew she had met someone that kept her busy during our break, but i didnt think that was serious. After all how could someone recover from what we had so fast? Now looking back, she must have met him before we were done. But i still don't blame her as I knew my child was needing more maturing to accept this woman into our lives.

 

Anyway we communicated fairly often during the third month after we broke up. Then one day she called me to tell me she was an alcoholic and had been for 10 years. I had no idea!!!! i mean she always had a glass of while or two with dinner. Then she told me she always snuck off to drink more. I felt so dumb. But i loved her and told her we can still make this work. We dont need any alcohol to have fun.

 

For month 4 through 6 after our breakup.... this is the really hard part.

 

I was told by her repeatedly that she wanted a future together and to get back to a point where we cold talk about marriage But that her first priority was to get sober. I agreed. So i helped and encouraged her through multiple relapses.

 

i learned that other "friends" were helping too. She kept a lot hidden from me. Details about these other friends, when she relapsed etc. The "relationship" i was now having with her was more about her than me. I lost myself. I was trying everything i could to love her and get her sober and back to normal.

 

Dramatic conclusion: Trust was becoming a major concern of mine. and one night when she fell asleep, her phone was blowing with texts from another man. I saw all the texts from the recent week from him....they were very, very sexual in nature. I was devastated, So i left. That was 5 days ago.

 

Right now I feel that she has been so lost.....I feel like the only person that is stable in her world...and i still love her. I know that i need to get out and get help for me.

 

But I cant help feeling like I am abandoning this person that I love, when they need me most.

 

For all you that can, please pray for me and for Angie to get the help she needs.

 

Jim

 

WTF? Who needs alcoholic gfs? If u stick around she just gonna keep taking u down with her so u need to break free & wish her the best from afar.

 

[Fleur de cactus]

Sorry your heart is broken , and I believe you loved the woman. However she has serious issues. She needs professional help and not you to get sober. I hope you told her the reason you left her. If she wants to be with you she will seek help. Don't feel guilty . That woman is a cheater and a liar.