preraph Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 The only guy who ever said that to me really pissed me off because I'd known him a long time and when he divorced, he came to me desperate to move right from her to the next woman and I was his first choice but not his only choice. I wasn't even wanting to do it but we were friends and i felt he needed me. I even told him to take up with the next woman on his preference list instead and he was insisting I was the one, so I tried it, but wouldn't let him move in with me when I had to move (he had to move due to divorce and I had to move due to an explosion). So instead he moved in right next to me and then stayed over at my place most of the time. He was still letting his ex monopolize his weekends under the auspices of dividing up stuff and when I found out that she'd asked him over under the pretense of dividing up stuff and then ended up basically taking her out to dinner because "she was upset so they didn't get much done," I had something to say about it. And he got snippy and said it wasn't my business. REALLY? Oh, I think it is. I couldn't imagine what logic he was working under to say that, but I broke it off shortly after. It would be 30 years before I'd figure out his logic, which was that since I wouldn't let him move in with me, for which there was some resentment, therefore, I had no say about his goings-on. Well, I thought we were better friends than that. And after all, I'd told him to go date these other two women he liked and leave me out of it, and he wouldn't hear of it. It didn't go down well with me. He was stunned when I said it's over. We tried awhile to resume being friends (he's someone I would always run into), but he couldn't handle that. Early on, like you two were, and you're sleeping together, it's usually a crap shoot. Most guys are not going to commit to fidelity after 3 weeks. But you're under no obligation to sleep with them until they act like they will and you get to know them well enough to know they will. But I realize you have needs to. The fact he couldn't find some more tactful way to let you know it's too early to be worrying about these things tells me he's either a bad communicator or has a little mean streak. So I guess it's best you found out how hurtful he could be early rather than later and got out.
Author Aisling.25 Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 If I had to venture a guess (since she has not returned)...it would be the OP has "forgiven" him....and continuing to date him. But she'll be back again, complaining what an aggressive macho bully he is, no doubt! That's okay.... sometimes people need to learn things the hard way before it sinks in. No don't worry I didn't take him back. My friend brought me on a little trip to get me away from everything I'd never take him back I'm still embarrassed he spoke to me the way he did. 1
Gaeta Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 No don't worry I didn't take him back. My friend brought me on a little trip to get me away from everything I'd never take him back I'm still embarrassed he spoke to me the way he did. Good girl ! I wish when I was younger I was that smart.
RySant Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 No don't worry I didn't take him back. My friend brought me on a little trip to get me away from everything I'd never take him back I'm still embarrassed he spoke to me the way he did. Girl, you're young. Just date. Continue dating. Someone is bound to be so MUCH better than him.
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