Lied to and 'forgotten' after 10 years :( Feel like there's no way through

[Sar112]

First two threads here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/564808-does-he-still-care

 

I made the big mistake of contacting him, just in a friendly way all 'How're things?' etc...

 

His response has absolutely broken me Basically just - please leave me alone and don't contact me I have nothing to say to you. After all the hurt that he has caused, how can he be so cruel?

 

I said fine - can you just tell me we're over for good this time then and if you have moved on and found someone else this way at least I can have some closure. He just wouldn't say it though The only thing he said was 'I don't want you back right now. I do still care but things aren't as black and white as that, you should know that.'

 

I just want to know there are no feelings left so I can try to move on but he won't even do that for me - he won't say it. I feel hopeless like I am just going to be left hoping forever that he comes back. I know it's pathetic but I've no confidence left - I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep and not wake up. Having to deal with having been lied to and having someone who spent so long telling you how much they loved you suddenly be so cruel is unbearable.

 

I don't want anyone else. I don't know if I can ever trust again - my confidence is shot to pieces. How do I get over this? How can someone's feelings change so quickly? I feel so alone.

 

I've no interest in anything - I can't even bring myself to make plans for the days ahead. It feels like I am fighting a losing battle.

[whiteout75]

Start by telling yourself that it is ok to feel this way. Take your littlest thoughts and desires and act upon them. Don't think any further than your first thoughts.

 

If you need to sleep and you can afford the time, absolutely take it.

 

That might be of no use, it's what i would do though.

[Sar112]

Thank you, I'll try.

 

It is the thoughts of anything other than the present that make me panic further. I'm scared of the future - I just want these feelings to end.

 

It seems so unfair that someone can cause someone to feel like this yet have no feelings themselves other than wanting to be left in peace. It's cruel.

[SparrowH]

Sorry to hear you have had this setback Sar. Like what has already been said, first accept that it is okay to feel this way.

 

I completely get that thinking about the future gives you anxiety and this is normal. I still get anxious. But you don't have to think about the future right now. I'm sure you have been told it before but just take it day-by-day, hour-by-hour.

 

I know you have little interest in doing anything and that's okay too but I find still just doing something can help a little, even if it is just to pass the time. Do you like to read? I found it helpful when I had so many empty days ahead.

 

Although it doesn't feel like it, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. Everything is temporary including this all consuming sadness, and each hour that passes is an hour closer to feeling normal again.

 

You don't have to do anything right now, just be kind to yourself.

[marky00]

First two threads here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/564808-does-he-still-care

 

I made the big mistake of contacting him, just in a friendly way all 'How're things?' etc...

 

His response has absolutely broken me Basically just - please leave me alone and don't contact me I have nothing to say to you. After all the hurt that he has caused, how can he be so cruel?

 

I said fine - can you just tell me we're over for good this time then and if you have moved on and found someone else this way at least I can have some closure. He just wouldn't say it though The only thing he said was 'I don't want you back right now. I do still care but things aren't as black and white as that, you should know that.'

 

I just want to know there are no feelings left so I can try to move on but he won't even do that for me - he won't say it. I feel hopeless like I am just going to be left hoping forever that he comes back. I know it's pathetic but I've no confidence left - I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep and not wake up. Having to deal with having been lied to and having someone who spent so long telling you how much they loved you suddenly be so cruel is unbearable.

 

I don't want anyone else. I don't know if I can ever trust again - my confidence is shot to pieces. How do I get over this? How can someone's feelings change so quickly? I feel so alone.

 

I've no interest in anything - I can't even bring myself to make plans for the days ahead. It feels like I am fighting a losing battle.

 

Hey.. similar thing happened to me.

 

After almost 9 months I kinda of tried your approach, where I wanted her to say there is a chance (even a small one) or not at all.

 

And yes, she simply wouldn't answer it.

 

I find it bizarre because I am straight up guy and when I have been a dumper, I have told people straight what I am feeling.

 

It doesn't make sense .... if its a done deal forever... why not just say it...