eshanga_desilva Posted January 10, 2016 Posted January 10, 2016 She had to go to summer school whereas I spent most of my time working on weekdays during this summer. Closer to an assignment deadline she panicked and said harsh things to me, which I never imagined she would say to my face. I tried to see the situation from her perspective and handled the situation well, but due to her continued panicking I said some mean things to her too (I regret that very much). Life is never going to be easier. So I keep imaging how she would react in the future when things get tough. When she's not calm, she's not happy so we're not able to spend quality time because she's worried always. How do I help my girlfriend to handle stressful situations well so that we can enjoy spending time with each other even in the midst of it?
preraph Posted January 10, 2016 Posted January 10, 2016 You can't change people. But an anger-management class might benefit both of you to teach you to civilly manage yourself when tempers flare.
d0nnivain Posted January 10, 2016 Posted January 10, 2016 She probably simply needs to age (grow up). Not everybody handles stress well when they are young. Perhaps she also needs to learn time management. However, these are not things that you as her BF can teach her. All you can do is steer clear of her when she gets like this.
Redhead14 Posted January 10, 2016 Posted January 10, 2016 She had to go to summer school whereas I spent most of my time working on weekdays during this summer. Closer to an assignment deadline she panicked and said harsh things to me, which I never imagined she would say to my face. I tried to see the situation from her perspective and handled the situation well, but due to her continued panicking I said some mean things to her too (I regret that very much). Life is never going to be easier. So I keep imaging how she would react in the future when things get tough. When she's not calm, she's not happy so we're not able to spend quality time because she's worried always. How do I help my girlfriend to handle stressful situations well so that we can enjoy spending time with each other even in the midst of it? Well, if she is very young and her parents did teach her or weren't supportive to her in times of difficulty for her, she's going to have to learn with age/maturity over time. It is not your responsibility to "teach" her per se. But, you should establish your boundaries in terms of how she treats you during these times which in turn should show her how to behave with you/people. When she behaves the way she does, you simple say "I understand that you are struggling with all that you have on your plate, but it is unacceptable to me to be treated harshly and I will not allow you to take it out on me. If you want to talk about it or if there is something I can help you with, I am willing and want to do that. Until you can talk to me or ask me for help in a calm reasonable way, I will give you some space so that you can work through it yourself. I love you and please call me later . . ."
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