mortensorchid Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Surely this has been you or someone you know/knew: You wonder why it is that two people stay together when one party is clearly superior to the other, or one will not commit to the other, or why one treats another so badly, etc. and yet he/she stays with them. Perhaps you have been there as well first hand and others wonder the same thing about you and that other person. I have an answer for you, something that was written by Cathy Guisewite, cartoonist of the Cathy comic strip from 1976-2010. For those of you not familiar, Cathy (also the main character) was in an on/off again relationship with Irving, her long time boyfriend who would not commit to her until they finally married in 2005 after an on/off relationship that lasted 29 YEARS. She had this to say about such a relationship: Married people ask me why Cathy is still with Irving. Single people in wonderful relationships ask me why Cathy is still with Irving. Single people who saw someone cute while grocery shopping and are planning to buy all future groceries at 7:30 on Tuesday nights in the hope that he/she will be there ask me why Cathy is still with Irving. People who are really single - single as in no steady dates, no potential steady dates, no meaningful eye contact in six months, not single by choice, but who are single because each and every person they find attractive is already married, living with someone, engaged, not interested, or attracted to the same men she is - these people never ask me why Cathy is still with Irving. Just thought I would share.
preraph Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 In my personal experience, it's because the person you think is better is either a bit shallow or lacks insight or both. For example, someone I know married a woman who looked good on paper: pedigree, been to culinary school, so good cook, okay looking. I knew from the first meeting she was a hot mess because I have insight. He was relying on this conventional looking good on paper to make him feel he was making the right decision because on some level, he must realize he has little insight, though he's a very thoughtful and nice fellow. Before long after the marriage, she had spent most of his money, and cheated on him using his own credit card with a guy in our circle, an acquaintance of his he still has to run into decades later. That guy married her and lord only knows what that was like, but last report, and this is decades later, she was in prison for kiting checks and stealing the identity and credit cards of her own family members and others. She was unbalanced to the naked eye, but he couldn't see it. And then the second guy was confident he could control her. I mean, this young lady would be literally crying on one of his friend's shoulders every time I was around them all. And she openly hated women and was maximum jealous. How could anyone not see that red flag? Not everyone can or will. 1
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