Seriously depressed over being a short man [in the dating world]

January 12, 2016

This is the weirdest thing I've read in a long time. Listen to Katiegrl, she's a girl and she's telling you that height doesn't matter! You're not even short, you're 5'8". Tom Cruise is 5'8" and he dated Nicole Kidman and she's taller than me. Come on!

Thank you...

And I am wondering now if the OP's hesitancy to watch the video and refusal to acknowledge what we (women) are telling him ...is because then he might have acknowledge the *real* reason women are turned off by him -- his personality (low self-esteem, negative attitude, etc) ....which can't be *fixed* by surgery.

That would require a much deeper analysis and ability to *look within* which he may be incapable of..

Good luck though OP.

I truly hope you can find some peace (within yourself) some day...

January 12, 2016

This is the weirdest thing I've read in a long time. Listen to Katiegrl, she's a girl and she's telling you that height doesn't matter! You're not even short, you're 5'8". Tom Cruise is 5'8" and he dated Nicole Kidman and she's taller than me. Come on!

Nicole Kidman's current husband of many years (to whom she has said she felt an immediate attraction) is also quite a bit shorter than she is.

So many others.....

Come on is right!

January 12, 2016

Oh my Gosh, 5"8 is not that short.

Why are you so depressed over that? There are many short girls out there too.

I was married to 6"2 guy and being with tall wasn't that useful or great at all.

It is overal package not just heights.

My current boyfriend is 5"8 and I love him and he is not short.

I am 5"6 and he is very manly and handsome, intelligent, fun and everything some tall guys lack of .....

And perfect height for me to give him a kiss and everything about him is great.

Even having sex is perfect with that height....I don't want or look at a tall guys anymore.

So cheer up and keep your chin up. There are plenty girls love being with eve rage short guys.

January 12, 2016

There are plenty girls love being with eve rage short guys.

My experience confirms this. OP, this is definitely true.

Are there women who prefer tall guys? Absolutely. Just like there are men who prefer women with large breasts. But does that mean there aren't men who will date women with small breasts? Of course not.

There will always be people with physical preferences that don't include every member of the opposite sex. That's life. But just like how there are men who will happily date a woman with small breasts, there are women who will happily date men who aren't tall.

January 12, 2016

I haven't read all of the posts, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm 5"3 and 3 of my serious relationships have been with guys that are 5"8-5"9. I actually prefer it to guys that are much taller. And I'm considered to be quite attractive and am in very good shape - i don't say that to sound arrogant, i'm just saying that it's not for lack of options, it's a genuine preference/attraction thing.

What you're lacking is confidence, which you seem to know. Of course dating is not easier for women than men, that's silly. What about women that are over 6 foot? or that struggle with their weight? You are blowing up something small and letting it take over your perspective.

January 12, 2016

I won't lie ...height *does* matter to *some* women. It is especially hard in OLD.....the video explains all that...and what to do about it.

But it is a very low percentage of women ...like 20% to whom it matters. And many of them do on line dating (with little success too ....gee I wonder why).

Video explains that too...

January 12, 2016

Like I said, I'll watch the video later today (as skeptical as I am). I'll try to keep an open mind, but I can't help but think this was video was put together by maybe the handful of women out there who don't care about height. It's nice they're trying to make us feel better, but actions of women at large speak louder than words. Saw it again today during lunch - an attractive woman (that I was going to approach, sure as hell won't be now) flirting with a man who isn't that much unlike me (don't you dare say confidence - no sh*t he has confidence, because...)...but he's 6'3!

I just genuinely hate being short, and have hated it my entire life. It has colored the lens with which I see the world. And I stand by my belief that a man's height is the single most important attribute required to have a good and fulfilled life (women and business/career being the two most important areas in a man's life, and height directly and critically impacts both).

I've got the money, just need to figure out the time. But I know when I'm someday dead, the length of my bones will be of an average man. I achieve most goals I set my mind to, and my height will no longer ruin me.

January 12, 2016

OP, wouldn't it be easier to continue your career in a country that has shorter men/women?

Have you considered shoes/boots that have thicker soles that raise you an inch or two? That would solve your problem easily since you say you're a legit 5'8"

January 12, 2016

My experience confirms this. OP, this is definitely true.

Are there women who prefer tall guys? Absolutely. Just like there are men who prefer women with large breasts. But does that mean there aren't men who will date women with small breasts? Of course not.

There will always be people with physical preferences that don't include every member of the opposite sex. That's life. But just like how there are men who will happily date a woman with small breasts, there are women who will happily date men who aren't tall.

The OP has constructed a reality in which his height (something which is cosmic and out of his control) is the neatly defined and compartmentalized source of all his misery. Its a coping mechanism because it offers a path of least resistance. Human beings take comfort in cosmic oppression. It shields him from self-scrutiny, from responsibility for his own condition, or from the possibility that life simply isn't meant to be like a Disney movie.

January 12, 2016

OP, wouldn't it be easier to continue your career in a country that has shorter men/women?

Have you considered shoes/boots that have thicker soles that raise you an inch or two? That would solve your problem easily since you say you're a legit 5'8"

I don't want to wear elevator shoes/lifts. No self respecting man should have to do that. I might hate myself, but I refuse to wear lifts. You're only lying to yourself with those anyway.

And no, I can't move to a shorter country, unless I switch careers entirely. I think quitting my job in a year or two is actually the best for me, because I'll be able to do the surgery while also getting away from all the tall people that my career seems to attract (including women in their [] heels around the office 24/7). Wont have to deal with that as much in a different career.

Edited January 13, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

January 12, 2016

I'm 5' tall and adore men in the 5'7 to 5'9 range. It hurts my neck to kiss tall men so I avoid them like the plague. I married a man whose 5'7" and he's perfect!

January 12, 2016

I'll watch it, but I'm very, very skeptical. I was reading through the comments on Youtube, and all the men (who had apparently watched it) are calling bs on it.

I feel like the video was probably just made to console guys. Maybe the random women they picked are the 2% who don't care about height. But it doesn't change the facts. It doesn't change online dating permeating into real life, women having it much easier online, the pressure put on men as a result...

I'd say it's probably a third of all hot women that demand a tall guy, another third 'like' it and the final third don't really care. I'm assuming you've got your eyes set on attractive girls, and I doubt attractive girls are more likely to want a guy thats tall since most hot girls are with guys that aren't tall at all — but the guys usually are handsome, stylish, rich (not something you can get surgery for )

Oh my Gosh, 5"8 is not that short.
Why are you so depressed over that? There are many short girls out there too.

There could be two outcomes, that surgery would make him finally happy as his perceived lack of height was his only problem, or it would merely give him temporarily joy as he actually has many problems and the only one he saw was his height. Again maybe getting over his height issues would then let him finally address the other problems.

Also the "there are many short girls out there too" is bad advice. He should be looking at taller girls, it might not make sense but it's the reality.

I've got the money, just need to figure out the time. But I know when I'm someday dead, the length of my bones will be of an average man. I achieve most goals I set my mind to, and my height will no longer ruin me.

I've heard it costs $100k+, and even more after the hidden costs. I looked it up online that there isn't really a fixed cost if you use a reputable doctor as it really can cost anything, the doctor can charge whatever he wants to do it and then whatever for complications. Also it can take years to finally fully recover; not just the surgery and physical recovery but you also have to learn how to walk all over again like a baby.

My only concern is if you do get the surgery how you'll take it when you realize that it hasn't solved anything. You would still be an unconfident and depressed man, just a few inches taller.

including women in their hooker heels around the office 24/7

You do know that a woman's height preference doesn't change when she wears heels or walks barefoot right? When women say that they want a guy taller than them when in heels they still want the guy to be a lot taller when not in heels. I think you're someone blaming the heels (or desire to wear them) as a problem or as if women forget that they are in heels and therefore only temporarily taller . The heels have nothing to do with your height issues.

Edited January 12, 2016 by wb1988

January 12, 2016

OP: "I just genuinely hate being short, and have hated it my entire life. It has colored the lens with which I see the world. And I stand by my belief that *****a man's height is the single most important attribute required to have a good and fulfilled life (women and business/career being the two most important areas in a man's life, and height directly and critically impacts both)."*****

*****Mark Zukerberg is 5'7" ... Woody Allen is around the same height (shorter actually)... Neal Schon (Journey) is about 5'8". All successful...all have no problems dating/marrying very attractive women.

So you want us all to believe that "height" ??! is the more important attribute. Right. What you assert isn't backed up by fact...just the opposite is actually proven as per my examples.

"I've got the money, just need to figure out the time. But I know when I'm someday dead, the length of my bones will be of an average man. I achieve most goals I set my mind to, and my height will no longer ruin me"

You've stated that you had a long term girlfriend (who you say didn't break up with you due to your height), have apparently achieved career success as you say you're making 6 figures...so how exactly has being 5'8" "ruined your life"? Nothing you say is based in reality.

How exactly is your height holding you back?

Edited January 13, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

January 13, 2016

I haven't read all seven pages of this thread, but how do you know that these women are rejecting you just because of your height, OP?

I can kind of understand it if it was specifically written down such as on an OLD profile, but in reality no one is really going to be able to judge your height with accuracy.

I'm 5'10" and I've dated girls that are 5'7", which is 3" difference. If the average woman's height is 5'4" you're still four inches taller than the majority.

My feeling is that you have a lack of confidence and are looking for something to blame, and height seems to be the easy option. If someone says you can't do something you should go out and prove them wrong.

Have a look at this video about height (and look at some of her others too, she gives great advice).

I watched the video. I'm sorry, but I think it's "rubbish." This is yet another case of hypocrisy on womens' part in the dating world. Or, maybe not hypocrisy on the part of the woman/women making the actual statements, but hypocrisy on women as a whole. She (and a few other) is saying that she likes short guys, blah blah blah, but actions speak louder than words. It's not that it's just my experience...even short men who are successful with women will tell you the additional pressures we have to "make up" for our height (as if we chose it, as would be the case if we were horribly out of shape) and the greater amount of rejection we face.

Actions speak louder than words. We need look no further than online dating to REALLY see womens' general height requirements (usually 5'8" is the absolute bare minimum for some, even very short girls, but most want 5'10" and up - it sounds better to them, and their friends will approve). I'm willing to concede that this is more of a problem online, but it happens in real life too. Women simply generally (with few exceptions, and we can never know which ones are which, so yaaay more rejection for me for even trying!!) aren't attracted to men who aren't as tall in them when they're wearing their oh-so-precious heels.

Sorry, but to me, that video is complete bs. And kinda patronizing.

January 13, 2016

The OP has constructed a reality in which his height (something which is cosmic and out of his control) is the neatly defined and compartmentalized source of all his misery. Its a coping mechanism because it offers a path of least resistance. Human beings take comfort in cosmic oppression. It shields him from self-scrutiny, from responsibility for his own condition, or from the possibility that life simply isn't meant to be like a Disney movie.

This is very unfair. But if that's what you believe based on my posts, then so be it.

January 13, 2016

I think the leg lengthening surgery is a brilliant idea and you should get it ASAP and then go on to have a fulfilling life.

January 13, 2016

Well at least the OP will be able to tell a woman that he tortured himself to add two inches for her.

Suffering breeds character.

January 13, 2016

I think the leg lengthening surgery is a brilliant idea and you should get it ASAP and then go on to have a fulfilling life.

At 5'6" ... if only I had had that surgery...I could have been a supermodel! ... how fulfilling that would have been! Instead I contribute to my community in ways that a supermodel can't touch...every day people young and old are happy I chose the profession I did...my legacy will live a lot longer in them than some pictures/an image.

January 13, 2016

At 5'6" ... if only I had had that surgery...I could have been a supermodel! ... how fulfilling that would have been! Instead I contribute to my community in ways that a supermodel can't touch...every day people young and old are happy I chose the profession I did...my legacy will live a lot longer in them than some pictures/an image.

Why would you get surgery at 5'6? that's ideal height for women

Damn Hollywood and their brainwashing nonsense.

January 13, 2016

OP my advice would be to focus more on taller girls. I know that most people would say to date shorter girls (logic is because of the lower height and greater difference) but short girls usually the ones with the higher height requirements and with the height complex. Taller girls don't think too much about a guys height and they're usually more concerned about their own height. By tall girls I mean 5'6-5'9, maybe 5'5" at the lowest but certainly not less.

Sounds counterintuitive but I sort of agree. I am 6'2" and every single one of my GF's was in the 5'2"-5'4" range. I actually prefer women in the mid to high 5's, but these shorter girls can be very persistent and before I know it, I end up getting involved with a shorter woman.

Have to be honest OP (and I am not sugar-coating), you're height is perfectly fine for U.S. standards because this is NOT a tall country. You're almost at average height and there aren't a lot of tall guys to compete with (Holland would be a different story). And like the guy I quoted said, it seems like most tall guys end up with short women, so try for taller. The tallers women will likely totally appreciate your advances because they probably don't get them as often due to other guys feeling self conscious about their height. It'd signal to her that you're confident.

January 13, 2016

There was an article addressing women that if they only consider guys that were one or the other... (sorry, I don't remember the exact wording) taller than they were, or at least a minimum height, they're basically passing up on 75% of datable men out there. That can a lot of good candidates just slashed for no reason! And I'm sure it's more of an uphill battle since many women pine for those tall men as well.

January 13, 2016

I'm 5'10" and I've dated girls that are 5'7", which is 3" difference. If the average woman's height is 5'4" you're still four inches taller than the majority.

Yes, guys understand that. Its the women that reply with "Well your just not tall enough".

Being X many inches taller than her has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the situation for many of those women! They only care about whether or not he is 6ft or taller.

Anyone that doesnt believe me go scour the dating profiles and you will see thousands of women that put it right on their profile "Do not contact me if you are under 6ft".

Then realize how many other women feel the same way, but dont have the balls to put it on their profile and you get a huge percentage of the female population that has a bias against men that are taller than them but "not tall enough".

Sounds counterintuitive but I sort of agree. I am 6'2" and every single one of my GF's was in the 5'2"-5'4" range. I actually prefer women in the mid to high 5's, but these shorter girls can be very persistent and before I know it, I end up getting involved with a shorter woman.

Have to be honest OP (and I am not sugar-coating), you're height is perfectly fine for U.S. standards because this is NOT a tall country. You're almost at average height and there aren't a lot of tall guys to compete with (Holland would be a different story). And like the guy I quoted said, it seems like most tall guys end up with short women, so try for taller. The tallers women will likely totally appreciate your advances because they probably don't get them as often due to other guys feeling self conscious about their height. It'd signal to her that you're confident.

Guys know 5'8 is right in line with height here in the US, the problem though is that many of the single women give zero f**Ks about it. They would rather sit at home griping and whining about not finding a "good guy" rather than date someone that is 2-3 inches taller than them. They look at a guy as an accessory to their wardrobe and whether or not he is a complement to her in her heels rather than being with him because of how he actually treats her.

Almost all of my gf's were within an inch or two of my height and none of them ever complained. I totally agree that most women above 5'6 seem to not harbor this FNC "Female Napolean Complex". It always seems to be the shorter women that insist a guy needs to be tall.

Edited January 13, 2016 by 67Chevelle

January 13, 2016

Anyone that doesnt believe me go scour the dating profiles and you will see thousands of women that put it right on their profile "Do not contact me if you are under 6ft".

Yes, and that's why those women are still on the dating sites years after they first sign up. I was off OLD for several years and having looked back into it recently I'm starting to see familiar pictures.

Height does not make you good at dating. Period.

January 13, 2016

Height does not make you good at dating. Period.

Height has EVERYTHING to do with EVERYTHING if you are a guy. You dont have to be good at dating, thats the catch, many women just assume you are because of your height.

You can google study after study that has proved time and again that taller men are more successful at getting a job, getting a promotion, getting a raise, getting a date, etc etc.

Society has a HUGE bias when it comes to tall men. They automatically assume that tall men know more, they assume that tall men are smarter, they assume that tall men are more trusting, and they are more willing to listen to tall men.

5'8" is not short.

You are right! But many many women still think its "not tall enough".

Edited January 13, 2016 by 67Chevelle

January 13, 2016

I'm actually still fuming over that video. Not at the poster who sent it, but that woman who actually seems to be serious. I mean...look...I already know that, as a short man, I'm unmanly, unattractive, not tall enough for 95% of attractive women, no a real man...that's fine.

But I'm definitely NOT stupid or naïve. Does this women really think short men are stupid in addition to all the other aforementioned qualities that women ascribe to us? It's kinda hilarious...

As I said before, actions speak louder than words. I'm interested in what women actually DO, and NOT what they only say. Of course they're going to say "oh short men are fine, many girls (cough**not me**cough) like short guys!" But they can't help but salivate every time they see a tall man. And I understand. Every woman wants the best, and tall is a big part of that.

This thread (mainly, the hypocrisy) has actually helped me come to a decision. That video was the final straw, but all it does is prove that women are very dishonest. We men flat out admit we care about looks []...women will lie to our faces, but then jump in bed with a tall stud 5 minutes later. I know what's up, and I have for a very long time.

I'm quitting my job in about a year's time. I already have the cash for the surgery now, but need a security blanket just to make sure (since having a gap on my resume is gonna hurt, but whatever...). At the end of the day, a woman can always up and leave me out of nowhere. But height is forever. If and when the next one leaves me, I'll be average height and won't have this one glaring negative destroying my "package." So, I'll have the confidence to know I can go out there and just find another attractive woman much more easily.

[]Things aren't fair for a lot of men right now, and all women seem to do is either yell at us while we're down or flat out lie. It's time women start telling the truth. Ya'll are just as superficial as we men are, expect you don't get tomatoes thrown at you for saying so.

Anyway, I'm done. Average/tall men and women - you can all keep lying and just agree to disagree with me. Unless you're a short man, you just don't know, and you can't understand it.

Edited January 13, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

Sign In

Seriously depressed over being a short man [in the dating world]

Recommended Posts

katiegrl

katiegrl

Lily blue

sambolini

kismetkismet

katiegrl

someguy391

TheTraveler

hasaquestion

someguy391

Lois_Griffin

wb1988

StBreton

someguy391

someguy391

lollipopspot

SwordofFlame

StBreton

FerryCorsten

S_A

risjurad

67Chevelle

TheArtist

67Chevelle

someguy391

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...