Cora Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 He left me back in April without a trace or a goodbye. It's been a rough road trying to get over him. I am doing better I believe, but yesterday seemed to have set me back because I can't stop thinking about him. I was driving home from work when I suddenly noticed I was behind him. I'm about 95 percent sure it was him. He had just bought a new car while we were together. This car that I was behind was the same make, model, color and everything. It also still had Florida tags since that's where he was from and he had never gotten around to having them changed while we were together. My first thought was "I hope he doesn't see me!" Then I hoped that he would. He turned into my neighborhood which I found out awhile back that's where his new girlfriend lives. I just don't know exactly where and that's fine by me. For a moment though I had the urge to follow him, but I knew that would be stupid and would not benefit me one bit. He turned off onto a street before my street and for an instant I glanced as I passed him, but of course could not see anything with his glass being tinted. Which is for the best anyway. My heart was racing the entire time and I was just shaking all over. I had no idea he could still affect me this way. It just brought all the hurt back into my heart again. The reality hit me once again that he goes and see's his new girlfriend now instead of me. She has since replaced me. Now there is always that chance that that may have not been him, but I just had that gut feeling. Even if it wasn't him it reminded me of him which doesn't make the pain any less. I always figured what would be the chances of me running in to him again? I imagined they weren't very good since he lives a good 45 minutes away from me, but I had no idea he'd get a new girlfriend who lives right in my neighborhood. I hate all of these reminders! They just seem to set me back. I wasn't doing great, but I was doing ok...finally feeling like the pain had eased up a bit and not thinking about him daily like I used to. I guess it also didn't help that earlier at work yesterday, the girls I work with were curious about my personal life and were asking if I was dating or seeing anyone? Then they wanted to know if I was interested in dating again? I told them no, and of course they inquired as to why? So I had to bring up the whole story about him and how the pain affected me so much that I wasn't interested in dating. I don't feel they were being nosy, but rather just normal chit chat. They are all married with kids and they naturally talk about that so of course they all wonder what's going on with me? The odd woman out so to speak. They now want to set me up with someone. On one hand I'm curious to date again and try to get over this pain, but on the other hand I just feel like it would not be fair for me to date while I'm still feeling so depressed over him. I also don't want to go through this pain again and I fear it will happen if I find someone else. I wish I could hurry up and get over him, but I guess it doesn't work that way. Perhaps eventually I'll get there. I just needed to vent. Sorry for the long post.
brothers343 Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 It probably was him but there isn't really nothing you can do. You need to focus on yourself and let time do it's thing. You have to create a new path for yourself. He has moved on and you have to do the same. Many people have gone through what you are feeling right now and they have survived it. You shouldn't be any different. 3
anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Many people have gone through what you are feeling right now and they have survived it. You shouldn't be any different. I know this wasn't for me, but it sure did help! I would definitely recommend you see this guy they're trying to set you up with. If anything, it will be a great reminder that your ex isn't the only man in the world. It doesn't have to be a serious thing! Maybe you make a new friend or maybe you go on a few dates and never see him again. Either way, going on a date with a guy doesn't mean you will be subject to another year of heartbreak. 1
Author Cora Posted January 9, 2016 Author Posted January 9, 2016 It probably was him but there isn't really nothing you can do. You need to focus on yourself and let time do it's thing. You have to create a new path for yourself. He has moved on and you have to do the same. Many people have gone through what you are feeling right now and they have survived it. You shouldn't be any different. Yes, thank you. I agree with you 100 percent. I am trying to move forward with my life and not backwards. I'm sure everyone here can relate. We've all been there. At least I no longer hold out hope for him to return to me like I used to. That ship has sailed and I'm finally starting to see reality for what it really is. I guess I just have to get used to the idea that I may have many more reminders of him or God forbid actually see him in person one day. I will just have to learn to deal with it.
Author Cora Posted January 9, 2016 Author Posted January 9, 2016 I know this wasn't for me, but it sure did help! I would definitely recommend you see this guy they're trying to set you up with. If anything, it will be a great reminder that your ex isn't the only man in the world. It doesn't have to be a serious thing! Maybe you make a new friend or maybe you go on a few dates and never see him again. Either way, going on a date with a guy doesn't mean you will be subject to another year of heartbreak. I see your point. I've thought about it. It's just that I used to look forward to dates...always a little nervous of course, but it was always nervous excitement! Now I just dread them. Maybe I do need to push myself a little just to get out of this funk I've found myself in.
anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 I see your point. I've thought about it. It's just that I used to look forward to dates...always a little nervous of course, but it was always nervous excitement! Now I just dread them. Maybe I do need to push myself a little just to get out of this funk I've found myself in. I'm not sure if it's the healthiest thing, but I always welcomed the distraction of having a new person to flirt and hang out with. The happiest and most positive times I've had post break up have come while talking to new interests. 1
Author Cora Posted January 10, 2016 Author Posted January 10, 2016 I'm not sure if it's the healthiest thing, but I always welcomed the distraction of having a new person to flirt and hang out with. The happiest and most positive times I've had post break up have come while talking to new interests. Oh I agree with you. It can be fun getting to know someone new and it's a great distraction to get your mind off of an ex. I'll definitely give it a thought. I'm not going to shut out the possibility of finding love again. I'm just not going to go out and seek it. I'm done with the hurt and the pain that comes from the end result. I know that's the price you have to pay sometimes though in order to find something good and true....something long lasting. It just makes you wonder how many more heartaches you'll have to endure before you find that person?
LilMama1097 Posted January 10, 2016 Posted January 10, 2016 I wish I had advice on making the pain go away (I would use it for myself too) All I can offer is ((hugs)) and I'm so sorry you even have to go through this. : (
BC1980 Posted January 10, 2016 Posted January 10, 2016 Seeing him will be a bump in the road. I saw my ex after a year of NC, and I was physically shaken also. I saw him from a distance, and it just brought up so many emotions. I also remember being surprised at my reaction. But all those feelings disappeared quickly, and I was back to moving forward. You'll be okay.
jdids247 Posted January 11, 2016 Posted January 11, 2016 Just wanted to offer my support. I'm in a very similar situation as you, but unfortunately my ex is also my neighbor. Almost 8 months of progress for me and her family stopped by before Christmas to catch up with me. I felt like all of the progress I've made was lost, and with it being the holidays it didn't make anything easier at all. Keep your head up and keep moving forward. One of those things where it will get harder before it gets easier. You can do it!
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