Giving Time To Myself and Herself

[laberboi]

on 6yrs (LDR) and broke up for a 6months already.

but on that span were chatting/talking for some times but all the time im the one who initiated it.. (she still i havent moved on)

 

she comes home for holiday and weve been seeing as good friends

and after a few days ive known some one whos flirting her..

my hope & jealousy collides... ask her if its courting or he likes the guy she said no..

 

after a day told her im courting her back and she said she noticed it what im doing & shes not ready about it and its up to me bla bla..

 

and after a week she told me "shes not having her personal space and iritated on me texting always"

 

and after that shes not replying on me already & theres one day i given my hope for now and texted her "sorry for my move & told her i was triggered by jealousy and im giving it up for now to give her space and enjoy the holiday" and nyt after ive been drunk and been calling her until she blocked my call.. daaamn! I MESSED UP!!! fk

 

 

message her on FB and texted her sorry again never mean it & im surrendering now for her to give space and be happy and ask not to end like blocking and ignoring each other "be friends like past 6months"..

 

she has no response & ive initiated No Contact for already 5 days now..

 

and shes flying back 9 days from now..

 

I want an advice if should i visit her like a few days before she travel if stilll she wont contact me?

 

to tell her personally that im letting go on my hopes now and i want her to be happy and be good friends bcos i want to fix my self and give time to my self for now even if its painful.. i do love her so much..

 

PS: its like having a good closure in person & for a peace of mind i think

"bcoz weve just broke up on video call"

 

BTW: her sister told me when she was ask if shes still into me and she answered: not anymore & she dont want to drop some hurtful words to me ; shes so good to me

 

 

Thanks! God Bless!

Edited January 9, 2016 by laberboi

[d0nnivain]

Your relationship is over but she's too nice / polite to tell you to buzz off. She is not interested in dating you & she has said you annoy her by your constant texting. Her sister told you it's over. I'm telling you it's over. When are you going to let it go?

[LilMama1097]

You've already sent her several messages on different platforms telling her basically that you'll respect her space and stop bugging her (that right there is too much and would annoy her) if you go to her in PERSON to tell her the exact same message 1. You're a liar because hunting her down and messaging her everywhere that you'll respect her space is a lie since you're violating it by sending multiple messages 2. If you cross the line and physically find her it could be considered "creepy," being stalked, basically nothing Good on your part.

Just respect her and most important YOURSELF and give up. She's annoyed and that only intensifies with every message or call you send her. You need to leave her alone, let her breathe and figure out what she wants.

While she's doing that, you can focus on your own life, doing things for yourself and moving forward.

Edited January 9, 2016 by LilMama1097

[laberboi]

thanks for the reply..

 

PS that sorry thing just happend 1 day and after that i havent contacted her..

 

yep! giving up my hopes for now to let her do soul searching..

 

I mean i just want to have sa CLOSURE bcoz we havent had that when we broke up its just like "be Good FRIENDS" & when she arrive she havent tell me she will be home..

she just said that if i want to go for a dinner bcoz her sister and father comes home..

and after where been together on vacations as good friends and doing the same routine like bestfriends..

 

she only blocked the call so no ringing..

 

and after i havent contacted her because i want her to enjoy the reaming days here with friends & family..

 

i just want to visit her before she fly to have a personal closure and be a good friend and for us to have a peace of mind.

 

or should i keep it on no contact until she fly??

 

yeah shes so nice!! what a women! love her so much i want her to be happy...

Edited January 9, 2016 by laberboi

[laberboi]

You've already sent her several messages on different platforms telling her basically that you'll respect her space and stop bugging her (that right there is too much and would annoy her) if you go to her in PERSON to tell her the exact same message 1. You're a liar because hunting her down and messaging her everywhere that you'll respect her space is a lie since you're violating it by sending multiple messages 2. If you cross the line and physically find her it could be considered "creepy," being stalked, basically nothing Good on your part.

Just respect her and most important YOURSELF and give up. She's annoyed and that only intensifies with every message or call you send her. You need to leave her alone, let her breathe and figure out what she wants.

While she's doing that, you can focus on your own life, doing things for yourself and moving forward.

 

 

thanks for the reply..

 

PS that sorry thing just happend 1 day and after that i havent contacted her..

 

yep! giving up my hopes for now to let her do soul searching..

 

I mean i just want to have sa CLOSURE bcoz we havent had that when we broke up its just like "be Good FRIENDS" & when she arrive she havent tell me she will be home..

she just said that if i want to go for a dinner bcoz her sister and father comes home..

and after where been together on vacations as good friends and doing the same routine like bestfriends..

 

she only blocked the call so no ringing..

 

and after i havent contacted her because i want her to enjoy the reaming days here with friends & family..

 

i just want to visit her before she fly to have a personal closure and be a good friend and for us to have a peace of mind.

 

or should i keep it on no contact until she fly??

 

yeah shes so nice!! what a women! love her so much i want her to be happy...

[d0nnivain]

You get closure from yourself not the other person.

[laberboi]

Your relationship is over but she's too nice / polite to tell you to buzz off. She is not interested in dating you & she has said you annoy her by your constant texting. Her sister told you it's over. I'm telling you it's over. When are you going to let it go?

 

on that day i texted her, but i know she will never reply on it bcoz she was annoyed and enjoying the vacation..

 

i just want to make it personal to her and assure her on what i texted her bcoz she knows how am i into her so much

and told her that im surrendering it up there .. as she told me lets just pray about our relationship what will happen in the future.

 

so is it a good idea? just to make a good closure and be good friends because we dont know when will she be home again..

she told me maybe next year and not sure about it...

 

we started as friend after we have an intimate 6 yrs relationship.

Edited January 9, 2016 by laberboi

[devilish innocent]

No, don't contact her. You can't be her friend. You are lying to yourself. As long as she is in your life, you will want more. She will never give it you. If she was going to come back to you, she would have by now. She is just being nice to you. The only way to get closure is to stop all contact with her. Don't talk to her as a friend. Don't talk to her to get "closure". If you really want closure, decide you are cutting her out of your life completely. Maybe a year from now you can get back in contact with her to have a friendship. For now, you need to let her go. I wish you well.

[LilMama1097]

My ex and I were engaged, lived together for YEARS, have a child together, broke up a month ago and I haven't even got closure from him. I had to give myself closure.

The fact is: You will always have yourself and no one will have your back, look after you or take care of you as genuinely as you can do that all for yourself.

Through this break up I've had to learn to find happiness within myself because at the end of the day, no one is guaranteed to be in my life forever except for me so I need to look out for myself first. Also, people will only respect you as much as you respect yourself and as much as you allow them to.

I had moments where I would text my ex and immediately feel like an idiot or like I was giving him 100% while he gave me negative 50%. That was my subconscious saying "you're not being yourself Mel, you're letting this guy turn you into a pathetic, insecure, clingy person. Who wants that type of person in their life?"

So I listened to myself for once, completely pulled away from him NC made my life so much easier and THIS MORNING he text ME apologizing if his text was bothering ME!! The tables have turned and I've lost a lot of respect for the way he's treated me through this break up. I don't want him anymore!! Maybe it's anger, maybe it's disgust.

Edited January 9, 2016 by LilMama1097

[Thistooshallpass21]

My ex and I were engaged, lived together for YEARS, have a child together, broke up a month ago and I haven't even got closure from him. I had to give myself closure.

The fact is: You will always have yourself and no one will have your back, look after you or take care of you as genuinely as you can do that all for yourself.

Through this break up I've had to learn to find happiness within myself because at the end of the day, no one is guaranteed to be in my life forever except for me so I need to look out for myself first. Also, people will only respect you as much as you respect yourself and as much as you allow them to.

I had moments where I would text my ex and immediately feel like an idiot or like I was giving him 100% while he gave me negative 50%. That was my subconscious saying "you're not being yourself Mel, you're letting this guy turn you into a pathetic, insecure, clingy person. Who wants that type of person in their life?"

So I listened to myself for once, completely pulled away from him NC made my life so much easier and THIS MORNING he text ME apologizing if his text was bothering ME!! The tables have turned and I've lost a lot of respect for the way he's treated me through this break up. I don't want him anymore!! Maybe it's anger, maybe it's disgust.

 

Just wanted to say thank you for posting this. I'm only a week out of 1.4 year relation that has been off and on (3rd break up). The 1.4 years is the total of when we were actually together. Back to the point, this was very helpful and provided guidance to the point that I want to get too. So thank you again

[laberboi]

No, don't contact her. You can't be her friend. You are lying to yourself. As long as she is in your life, you will want more. She will never give it you. If she was going to come back to you, she would have by now. She is just being nice to you. The only way to get closure is to stop all contact with her. Don't talk to her as a friend. Don't talk to her to get "closure". If you really want closure, decide you are cutting her out of your life completely. Maybe a year from now you can get back in contact with her to have a friendship. For now, you need to let her go. I wish you well.

 

when she comes home weve been together on trips and do things like nothing happens (no intimate) i can hold her she can hold me.. (she still know im into her..

 

after what been done that i said i would court her back thats were tha thing mess up ive been jealous that the other guy it sux!

 

yes after that im onto NC..

 

and is it not right that

 

"days before her flight bcoz its too far US and here Asia

i just wanted to tell her personally that i know ive done wrong and im letting her go and be happy just to have a peace of mind for her and me thats all; or a letter?"

 

been on no contact with her and last day on her facebook she posted "CONFUSED" and some of our mutual friends reacted and she deleted it.

 

and been liking Photos like "if someone seriously wants to part of your life they will seriously make an effort to be in it."

 

"dont look for a man who will that will understand you, but look for the one even though he doesnt understand u he wont let go"

 

and lastly "never assume someone loves u you by only seeing their sweetnes, bcoz sometimes their just bored"

 

and now been started deleting some of our photos. and uploaded the pictures from vacation and tagged me.. and after she removes it hours later.. ive been updated but never contacting her

 

This happenes when i already initiated NO CONTACT for me and for her..

 

sick of mind games bcoz when i wont contact her like last months she will be posting things likes that..

Edited January 10, 2016 by laberboi

[kidm]

when she comes home weve been together on trips and do things like nothing happens (no intimate) i can hold her she can hold me.. (she still know im into her..

 

after what been done that i said i would court her back thats were tha thing mess up ive been jealous that the other guy it sux!

 

yes after that im onto NC..

 

and is it not right that

 

"days before her flight bcoz its too far US and here Asia

i just wanted to tell her personally that i know ive done wrong and im letting her go and be happy just to have a peace of mind for her and me thats all; or a letter?"

 

been on no contact with her and last day on her facebook she posted "CONFUSED" and some of our mutual friends reacted and she deleted it.

 

and been liking Photos like "if someone seriously wants to part of your life they will seriously make an effort to be in it."

 

"dont look for a man who will that will understand you, but look for the one even though he doesnt understand u he wont let go"

 

and lastly "never assume someone loves u you by only seeing their sweetnes, bcoz sometimes their just bored"

 

and now been started deleting some of our photos. and uploaded the pictures from vacation and tagged me.. and after she removes it hours later.. ive been updated but never contacting her

 

This happenes when i already initiated NO CONTACT for me and for her..

 

sick of mind games bcoz when i wont contact her like last months she will be posting things likes that..

 

You haven't been doing no contact if you can recite everything she posts on Facebook. You are lying to yourself. This thing is over and you need to move on. It doesn't seem like she will ever want you back. You're just wasting your time, sorry to say.