What's The Deal With Mom?

[scooter62788]

I was dating a girl for 9 months and I broke up with her and I am now dating my current girlfriend for about 3 weeks. My last girlfriend of 9 months, it seemed my mom tried to pick every little thing wrong with her. And with my girlfriend now, she is doin the same thing. I liked the last girlfriend but I really like the one I have now and she is just finding ways to criticize her and it really pisses me off. My mom says she is "weird" and she isnt. I am 16 and my girlfriend just turned 15. Yeah, she's young but it doesn't matter. My girlfriend is different, but not different as in weird. I about want to yell at my mom and tell her that if she wants me to have the "PERFECT" girlfriend, then she go find me one. But we all know there is no "PERFECT" girlfriend. What do I do about this?

[LucreziaBorgia]

I expect its a mix of:

 

being protective

wanting you to find a girlfriend that reflects well on her

 

When a kid does something, a parent is both protective for what could go wrong and they don't want people seeing their kid making what seems to them be be 'bad choices' and have it reflect poorly on their parenting skills. Maybe in your case, she doesn't want you to be hurt - and she doesn't want people to think she raised a son who wants to go out with girls like "that" (whatever 'that' represents as being wrong in your mom's eyes).

 

What to do? When the conversation comes up, politely change the subject or simply refuse to talk about it. The key is to be polite - calm - nice - but very evasive. Pretty much anything you say about 'privacy' or 'making my own choices' are going to be met with some strong 'I'm the parent and I know what's best for you' type stuff. If anything, if your mom asks - talk about how the girl makes you feel - make it about you - just say the girl makes you feel happy when you are with her - positive stuff like that. Don't try to defend the girlfriend - trust me, that won't work. As soon as you get defensive, you are done for.