loveflower Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 I have found almost all kind of relationships will eventually turned out to be disappointments. I found myself more and more isolating myself, maybe to void the disappoints. why is that? and how to deal with it? I don't believe in romantic relationship anymore. yes, there are men out there who want you, but probably no one really love you. you are easily replaceable. This man I thought who has a thing for me followed a pretty party girl on fb. and this just took hours of flight with a girl to his home country. Nothing to believe in. Don't know what to hope for. in life as in relationship. Yes, I am unhappy. I don't know how to make myself happy. There is no one I can really talk to. When I was young or younger, it wasn't like that. The more you know, the more you think, the more jaded you are. Anyone has similar feelings?
carhill Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Yeah, but for myself more extraneous stimulation than disappointment. Life is full of disappointments and part of getting through it with a modicum of health is accepting that it is imperfect, we are imperfect and it'll all end way too soon. What I've noticed, compared to young years lived alone, is that the older version going on now is peaceful and I put a high value on being at peace with life. Some folks find peace in relationships, others in solitude. I found marriage to be, mostly, a pretty peaceful place and valued it for that. Life is like that. Heh, sometimes I talk to the cat, mainly to tell him, like right now, that he missed licking one hair. Life is good. 1
Author loveflower Posted January 8, 2016 Author Posted January 8, 2016 Yeah, but for myself more extraneous stimulation than disappointment. Life is full of disappointments and part of getting through it with a modicum of health is accepting that it is imperfect, we are imperfect and it'll all end way too soon. What I've noticed, compared to young years lived alone, is that the older version going on now is peaceful and I put a high value on being at peace with life. Some folks find peace in relationships, others in solitude. I found marriage to be, mostly, a pretty peaceful place and valued it for that. Life is like that. Heh, sometimes I talk to the cat, mainly to tell him, like right now, that he missed licking one hair. Life is good. I am trying to get a ragdoll cat. It's taking such a long long time. I think the breeder is getting tired of me coz I am insisting on getting a pinky nosed one. I keep listening to tao te jing now to try to get some peace and letting go. It's ironic how I used to like to read romantic novels and listening to love songs. now they irritated me. they are so fake to me now.
Itsfriday Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 I think everything these days is just based on society. nothing else matters. people dont stay married for years and years now, as soon as marriage gets tough people leave. no back bone whatsoever. I also agree with you. people can be with someone for years upon years and just lose it all. People walk away they leave and just dissapoint us. Its how life suppose to be. the only person you should give 100% trust is yourself. when you find happiness in yourself and your life its all that maters. you can be happy with that. i look at some people who spend many years away from family and friends to do something they were passionate about and something they loved. they have love for there family and all that, but theyy have love for greater things that are outside that of human relationships. 1
Author loveflower Posted January 8, 2016 Author Posted January 8, 2016 I am pissed this morning my brand new Honda civic car I just drove for 1 day had no battery to start up. how can that be? the booster guy told me to bring back to the dealer probably defective battery. I am so disappointed. I took such a long long to search and bargain for the car...
Itsfriday Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Most likely it is the battery if not its the brain box. lol hope its the battery because brain boxes are bit**es to fix. I would be so pissed too lol
carhill Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 I am trying to get a ragdoll cat. It's taking such a long long time. I think the breeder is getting tired of me coz I am insisting on getting a pinky nosed one. The one on my lap, which you can see in my pet album here, is actually a retired breeding show cat. A Himalayan. Yikes, the hair! I keep listening to tao te jing now to try to get some peace and letting go. Had to look that up. Taoist philosophy? Haven't had the pleasure. It's ironic how I used to like to read romantic novels and listening to love songs. now they irritated me. they are so fake to me now. My exW used to call those novels and movies 'willful suspension of disbelief'. I always thought that was a good line. Still, the writers were blessed with a richly textured landscape of a mind that could come up with that stuff and connect to people through it or it wouldn't be as popular as it has been. IMO, the journey is finding peace with oneself and one's path in life. That doesn't mean giddy happiness, though that is fun on occasion. It's more acceptance. I think the work I did in MC helped a lot with accepting things, in my case divorce and death. It put a different spin on the process of living, one I saw value in and tried. Perhaps your pursuit of Taoist philosophy will bear similar fruit for whatever you seek. 1
Author loveflower Posted January 8, 2016 Author Posted January 8, 2016 Its how life suppose to be. the only person you should give 100% trust is yourself. when you find happiness in yourself and your life its all that maters. you can be happy with that. . yes, but I found like that is lonely and awful. I want to find someone I can 100% trust and someone I can really talk to. now I guess it's a lost course I have to find happiness even when alone. no sure how though.
Itsfriday Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 yes, but I found like that is lonely and awful. I want to find someone I can 100% trust and someone I can really talk to. now I guess it's a lost course I have to find happiness even when alone. no sure how though. ofcourse it is, and we all deserve someone. im not just saying this because its expected to be said but you truly will find someone. it may even take time but you will.idk if this is possible for you but you should go out on alot of dates and get to know plenty people. you can make good friendships and meet someone whos willing to make a relationship work, also u wont be so lonely. 1
Author loveflower Posted January 8, 2016 Author Posted January 8, 2016 Had to look that up. Taoist philosophy? Haven't had the pleasure. . Yes. seems very profound. but I have a thick skull. maybe Dr. Wayne's version is easier to understand coz he gives his own explanation and interpretation. I just borrowed from the library and copied the audio.
Giggle Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Having someone you can talk to about anything is awesome, long conversations. That person dying, makes the world horribly lonely even with all the other people, because that conversation... Isn't replaceable with anybody. Sigh. My mom and I would talk about everything. I think it's rather harder as I get older because of what I've experienced. Before, I just didn't know what I was missing. Now I do, and I have standards... I haven't seen any relationship that I would want to have. You could call me maybe we could have fun conversations. I'm weird though 1
big dog Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 loveflower -- it's been my experience as well as observation over many years that your one "soul mate" ..'true love" whatever you may call him will come when you least expect it. All in due time and when it's meant to happen. To be sad & depressed because it's not already happened is futile and will just drive you nuts. Patience is the key. Sometimes it takes a lot of it... but that's the key. 1
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