jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 My friend and I decide to go to an outdoor German festival this evening. We mingle, drink beer and have a good time. Then she decides to approach two good looking guys to talk to. She hits it off with the one guy, and by default I end up talking to his friend. After awhile, I discover that this cute guy is successful, intelligent, well-educated, funny and generally a great catch. He complimented me several times on how pretty I am...said nice things about my hair, my eyes, my jewelry and my nails. And he said that he could tell that I was very intelligent, and that is something that is very attractive to him. He affectionately put his arms around me to show his interest as well. Most women would jump at this sort of opportunity, right? But do I? No. Because I felt NOTHING! This guy was totally my "type"! It's been six weeks since my boyfriend of one year dumped me for another woman. And even though I don't cry every day like I used to, in my heart it feels like I'm cheating if I were to see another man. Why is this? Why can't I even begin to move on? This is so unfair. It was so easy for him to replace me and move on. What is the matter with me that my heart won't let go so I can find someone who deserves my love?
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 4, 2005 Author Posted June 4, 2005 Oh, and I might also add that my friend insisted on going home with the guy she just met tonight. I know she's kind of in a desperate place, because she hasn't been with anyone in a long time.... but I'm worried sick about her. I mean, my days of casual sex are long past, so I can't understand what would possess her to go home with a guy she doesn't even know. I told her to call me when she gets to his place, which she did, but I'm still worried. I kept repeating the mantra in her ear, "No condom, no sex." And she was like, "Yes, mother." I'm only 31, but does this mean I'm getting old or something? I love my friend like a sister, so this is pretty upsetting for me.
smile95 Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 My guess is that 6 weeks into a break up is not enough time to move on. Everyone is different, but it sounds like you need to take care of yourself and truly get over the ex before you even consider finding anyone else attractive. It is tough.
Angeleyez2583 Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 Trust me, you are not over your ex yet. What I did may help you. NC. I did it for 13 days and I feel like I am over him completely. In that time, I met a new guy. We're taking things SLOWLY. But anyway, don't settle. When you find a new guy and when you're ready to date you'll know. (Took me 2 months to get over my ex). NC does help. Give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen??? lol
Raindrop100 Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 You are not alone. In fact, it took me much longer than that to get over my ex. Sometimes this sort of things cannot be explained in a very logical way. It's all about emotion. When you have not got over your ex; naturally you can't accept new love into your life. Some people may think that finding new love can help a person to quickly get over the ex. However, I think this may not be fair to the new love as we may end up hurting people unnecessarily. Take one thing at a time. Let the friendships slowly develop into boy/girl relationships may be a better solution.
Treasa Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 Sweetheart, there's nothing wrong with you. You care about your friend. I'm 30 and I'd be doing the same thing. And six weeks probably isn't enough time to get over your ex. Maybe you could engage this new guy as a friend and then see what happens.
Recommended Posts