wendieann Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Okay. It's been a week. Lol. I texted. I explained my feelings. That I loved him. I said, you once stated if we broke up that would be it. We'll, I'm not like that. I have to at least reach out and try again. I would regret it if I walked away. Do I expect a response? No. I do however feel better. At least I gave it one more shot. In my heart I tried. Our relationship was almost perfect. All couples fight. Those people that don't give up have a chance at a happily ever after.
Qboro90 Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Well how old are you both and why did you break up? Need more details to offer advice. Your text wasn't the worst thing in the world, but judging from his failure to reply, that's pretty clear that he doesn't wanna reconcile or get back together for the foreseeable future. Respect that and don't contact him again. You said what you had to get off your chest, that's all you can do. If you do it again or continuously then you're just nailing the coffin shut forever and will drive him even further away
DrMario Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 I see nothing wrong with this text, if the relationship was worth while for you then it's understandable to put up a fight rather than go out cold, unfortunately in my case, I seriously overdid it, I feel like we broke up at a very bad time of the year, as I sent her a letter at Christmas and at new year as well as a few texts and emails over the holidays, not that it mattered, they all went ignored and I seriously doubt she even bothered to read them, but still, don't do what I did, leave it simple and casual and if he wants to come back, he'll do just that.
Blanco Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Almost perfect relationships don't generally end unless one of the people dies or moves cross-country. If your ex thought the relationship was almost perfect, then he's got issues of his own to sort through, because finding a truly high-quality relationship is not easy. Truth is, though, that these relationships are always revealed to be more flawed than we wanted to admit in the moment. Usually, only time, space, and introspection reveals these truths. Even if you felt it was almost perfect, the fact that he's gone and has not returned suggests he didn't feel the same. In that case, the relationship wasn't almost perfect. A good relationship involves two emotionally invested people; not one such person and another who's more or less along for the ride. Remember these things as you're tempted to idealize the relationship once the high of you making one last attempt at reconciliation fades in the coming days and weeks. 1
basil67 Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Perhaps it wasn't so much the fight itself which made him walk away, but what was said during the fight. According to your previous post, this fight was about his family. Did you say anything to him about his family which he would have taken great offense to? What about the issue itself: is it something which could be resolved or would it keep surfacing for the foreseeable future? Lastly, if you really want to get back together, explaining your feelings is what NOT to do. What you need to do is show that you listened to him and understand his needs. If you want to get back together, you have to meet his needs
Author wendieann Posted January 8, 2016 Author Posted January 8, 2016 I'm 44 and he is 55. I didn't expect a response. I don't know why that tiny spark I want to hang onto. I believed in us. Yes, I did say things he didn't like. More that I wanted him to stand up and not be taken advantage of by his children. He would complain to me about them and they didn't like me. I didn't want to hear it but he needed someone to talk to. I was suppose to be his supportive partner and I failed. I am glad I texted him. Even if I never get the closure I'd like. At Christmas he talked the talk about the amazing things we will do as a family etc. A week later it's over because of me. I told him from the beginning I suffer from depression and I am on pills. I went and saw my doctor today. I'm just sick to my stomach. I can't sleep. I'm emotional and want to cry all the time. I screwed up. I apologized. I thought he loved me more than this.
basil67 Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 (edited) I'm 44 and he is 55. I didn't expect a response. I don't know why that tiny spark I want to hang onto. I believed in us. Yes, I did say things he didn't like. More that I wanted him to stand up and not be taken advantage of by his children. He would complain to me about them and they didn't like me. I didn't want to hear it but he needed someone to talk to. I was suppose to be his supportive partner and I failed. I am glad I texted him. Even if I never get the closure I'd like. At Christmas he talked the talk about the amazing things we will do as a family etc. A week later it's over because of me. I told him from the beginning I suffer from depression and I am on pills. I went and saw my doctor today. I'm just sick to my stomach. I can't sleep. I'm emotional and want to cry all the time. I screwed up. I apologized. I thought he loved me more than this. I'm confused. You've just described a brief discussion. But earlier you said that the breakup followed a 'big fight'. I mean, a big fight is by nature, heated with lots of words being flung from both sides. How did this simple discussion escalate into a fight? And what was there to actually fight over? Just to be clear, I'm not nitpicking. This is more about getting a clearer idea of what the relationship was like to help you find closure. Edited to add: I hope you know that supporting a person doesn't necessarily mean agreeing with them. Sometimes the best support can come from a person who helps us see things differently. Who suggests a different approach. As long as the suggestions are made with kindness, there's nothing wrong with challenging their view. Edited January 8, 2016 by basil67
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