TheNextLawyer Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 Too much hard work on there for no reward. Latest gem was someone who had at least 20 things in common but brushes me off as not her type. No way out of my league and not in great shape, but just a 'lol and wish you all the best'. I know for certain I can get better girls in real life. The internet is not a great hunting ground for most men outside of the top 'looks' or money tiers.
lilmissjava Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 I echo your sentiments. I am taking a break and going back to real life as all my relationships have come from the real world. I haven't been on OLD for that long, but long enough to know it is a superficial world on there. Good luck!
TheArtist Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 Always remember that online dating is just a tool, and it certainly shouldn't be the only one in the toolbox. Some people on these sites are looking for 'the one', which I'm not even sure exists. There's always another profile to look at. I haven't been on POF for about seven years but I've had a look again recently and I actually recognise some of the women. People need to talk more and stop looking for that perfect match. Besides, who wants perfect anyway? Perfect is boring. 2
kendahke Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 I hear ya. I've given up on it because it's infested with romance scammers. Too much "Forgive me if I'm being rude, disrespectful or invading your privacy, i just couldn't help but notice your charm and i must confess you have an infectious smile and a beautiful face, i will love to learn more about you if you don't mind." Ugh! I'd rather be alone. 5
Author TheNextLawyer Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 My best run of dates off the site was with someone who was totally from a different walk of life and had major 'daddy issues'. I don't regret spending time with her, but it was pretty awkward having her see my profile once again. Small world ultimately. Some of my friends from meetup.com were also on the site and I avoided looking too much as it takes all the fun and mystery out of getting to know them. Good luck to you guys/gals too
fitnessfan365 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 I find it funny that you say she's out of shape, that you can get better girls in real life, etc.. Yet you were interested enough to send her an email. Funny how somebody isn't good enough all of a sudden when they reject you huh? 3
Author TheNextLawyer Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 Well she acted like someone in shape and flooded with suitors. I have 'open minded' as my bottom line for people, and so did she. Hardly means anything if she just wants a fellow goth or someone a foot taller..
strawberryshortstack Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 I hear ya. I've given up on it because it's infested with romance scammers. Too much "Forgive me if I'm being rude, disrespectful or invading your privacy, i just couldn't help but notice your charm and i must confess you have an infectious smile and a beautiful face, i will love to learn more about you if you don't mind." Ugh! I'd rather be alone. lol...is there a script that they pull this stuff from? I've gotten so many variations of this message, it's ridiculous.
Robratory Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 Too much hard work on there for no reward. I too dropped OkCupid and POF. I found way too many professional daters there, too many women who want endless email exchanges but never agree to meet. So far, my best source has been Craigslist, believe it or not. My response rate to messages is about 50%, which blew me away, and the women I've met have seemed just regular people.
Gaeta Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 After 3,5 years online, Pof, okcupid, badoo, match, eHarmony, zoosk, I tried them all and did at least 150 first coffee meeting. I heard everything, I have seen everything. I didn't let it affect me. Finally I met someone who's respectful, attentive, serious and NORMAL. I don't know why some people just quit when they realize it will be some tough work, as if anything was easy in life. 2
Bobbi7 Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Yeah, I'm taking a break from online dating sites, I'm hoping I can meet a guy the old fashion way-one that I actually like.
Bobbi7 Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 After 3,5 years online, Pof, okcupid, badoo, match, eHarmony, zoosk, I tried them all and did at least 150 first coffee meeting. I heard everything, I have seen everything. I didn't let it affect me. Finally I met someone who's respectful, attentive, serious and NORMAL. I don't know why some people just quit when they realize it will be some tough work, as if anything was easy in life. For me, I have no patience.
truth_seeker Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 After 3,5 years online, Pof, okcupid, badoo, match, eHarmony, zoosk, I tried them all and did at least 150 first coffee meeting. I heard everything, I have seen everything. I didn't let it affect me. Finally I met someone who's respectful, attentive, serious and NORMAL. I don't know why some people just quit when they realize it will be some tough work, as if anything was easy in life. You're right. You have to be patient and not take the ones who don't work out personally... but the idea of meeting 5-6-7-8-9 women in a row and not clicking with any of them really makes you want to drive into a telephone pole. 1
Author TheNextLawyer Posted January 8, 2016 Author Posted January 8, 2016 After 3,5 years online, Pof, okcupid, badoo, match, eHarmony, zoosk, I tried them all and did at least 150 first coffee meeting. I heard everything, I have seen everything. I didn't let it affect me. Finally I met someone who's respectful, attentive, serious and NORMAL. I don't know why some people just quit when they realize it will be some tough work, as if anything was easy in life. I'm reasonably respectful. Not always attentive. Hate being serious but can be. Far too unique to be NOrmal.. whatever that word means. So yes, I guess if most online daters are like you it's harder work.
deckard11 Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 I don't blame the OP for quitting. I had zero luck on that site. Women are just shallow. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 After 3,5 years online, Pof, okcupid, badoo, match, eHarmony, zoosk, I tried them all and did at least 150 first coffee meeting. Hey, I can give you credit for at least meeting them face to face. Esp. THAT many times. lol Anyhow, I took a year off of POF and came back and low and behold, same faces that I emailed year ago (they didn't reply of course) are still on the site. Emailed them again now, to see if their attitude or perspective has changed...so we'll wait and see. That being said, I wonder if a lot of the women on that site are just simply bored, with no real intention of responding or actually meeting. They remain permanent fixtures/spinsters of the online dating world. I kind of find it surprising that since they live in a small town with the only options being retirees over 70 or back water types, you'd think they'd give it a quick coffee meeting, ya know? But maybe they have no intention of meeting and are simply bored or looking for an ego stroke. Reason I say this, is because I have a real life female friend on OK Cupid, and I can see her activity being rather recent on the site. I brought this to her attention and asked her if she's ever replied or met anyone. No on both occasions...apparently when she's visiting her father in the middle of the country, she gets bored and logs into the site. Most are doing it as an ego boost or out of sheer boredom with no intention of meeting. I've had a few women I know in real life say this. OR they are apprehensive about meeting, so they can never get the nerve to meet someone. Time wasters, too. 2
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 I find it funny that you say she's out of shape, that you can get better girls in real life, etc.. Yet you were interested enough to send her an email. Funny how somebody isn't good enough all of a sudden when they reject you huh? Well, the point there is it rather proves that he knows his equals in the looks department. One can generally look at a person and tell, "She's cute, but she could lose about 30 lbs...so looks like I'll have a shot with her." While she's attempting to chase a marathon runner that she'll get winded in doing so. I actually know of such a woman that was interested in a good looking, in-shape, runner, slender physique...she was cute, but could definitely lose some weight...from talking to her, I could tell she wasn't an active person based on her interests and running marathons like this guy isn't one of them. lol
Erik30 Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Too much hard work on there for no reward. Latest gem was someone who had at least 20 things in common but brushes me off as not her type. No way out of my league and not in great shape, but just a 'lol and wish you all the best'. I know for certain I can get better girls in real life. The internet is not a great hunting ground for most men outside of the top 'looks' or money tiers. Yeah a couple of months ago I reactivated my profile, but after a short while I decided to delete it permanently. I only messaged women who I matched 80/90% with and still got the "don't think we're a match, but good luck on the site!" or usually no reply at all. I noticed that they were mostly still the same girls on the site since I left the first time. I guess part of the problem also is that the number of women near me on OKC is pretty small in my country, and I'm not looking for a LDR. I got some likes and messages, but I wasn't interested in any of of those girls. (Covered in tattoos, single moms with multiple children, very overweight, etc.) It was just a waste of time and it started to become frustrating, so I'm done with OLD and apps like Tinder.
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Yeah a couple of months ago I reactivated my profile, but after a short while I decided to delete it permanently. I only messaged women who I matched 80/90% with and still got the "don't think we're a match, but good luck on the site!" or usually no reply at all. I noticed that they were mostly still the same girls on the site since I left the first time. I guess part of the problem also is that the number of women near me on OKC is pretty small in my country, and I'm not looking for a LDR. I got some likes and messages, but I wasn't interested in any of of those girls. (Covered in tattoos, single moms with multiple children, very overweight, etc.) It was just a waste of time and it started to become frustrating, so I'm done with OLD and apps like Tinder. Wow, you're area pretty much mirrors my area of tattooed ladies. lol and permanent fixtures of the site. You'd figured after so long they'd start responding to the guys that they had ignored.
Bobbi7 Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 There are 2 major things wrong with dating sites: 1. People that just waste time messaging back and forth with no intention of meeting. 2. People that are in desperate need of someone-the creeps and stage 5 clingers. So, there really is no hope-its tough.
SwordofFlame Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Aren't you being overly pessimistic? Dating sites give people that are struggling to meet people offline a chance at finding someone. Is it perfect? No, but the reason people use it is because they're also not having success offline. I never agree with people who say to just stop online dating and try to meet people offline. Why do you think they've resorted to online dating in the first place? It's because they're not having success offline.
Author TheNextLawyer Posted January 10, 2016 Author Posted January 10, 2016 Aren't you being overly pessimistic? Dating sites give people that are struggling to meet people offline a chance at finding someone. Is it perfect? No, but the reason people use it is because they're also not having success offline. I never agree with people who say to just stop online dating and try to meet people offline. Why do you think they've resorted to online dating in the first place? It's because they're not having success offline. I have had success off line but not that much recently. I had a lot of personal issues when at uni, and can assure you that every month I had at least one prospect -- as most do in that environment. I have also had interest from several people who do the same sports as me, but I feel out of their league due to their income being quite a bit higher. Tinder has been better than I expected actually and a lot less work with questions and percentages than OKC.
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