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How to get over a first love


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Posted

So 2 years ago, when I was fourteen, I met my first boyfriend, along with my first few good friends. I fell for the guy quickly, and he he returned my feelings. After a while we started dating, but a month later started ignoring me and then broke up with me. Because obviously we were dating for such a short time, I thought I'd get over him pretty quickly but i was really wrong. I feel he is still affecting my life.

I feel really empty and detached since then. I don't really have any strong emotions anymore, and especially dont have love. I've 'seen' people since him, but no feelings have really been there so none have lasted long.

I dont click with people anymore. I dont even get attached to people in a platonic way now, and even lost my attachment to my friends.

Im way too young to feel this empty and hopeless and i dont know what to do. I'm not sure if these problems relate to my ex, but either way I know not being able to get over him is still a problem, i want to be able to feel and love again

What do i do?

Posted

Anyway im guessing your 16 or 17 now. I wont talk to you and give you a talk lol. Your life shouldnt be really worrying about these things now but i wont go there cause its not what you asked.

 

How to move on from that? Well your young so you have alot of things to look forward to, many activities and things you can do that will become more and more part of your life and you'll just really forget about him. You may even struggle to remember who he is a few years from now.

 

So get yourself focused,send time with friends and family and try new fun things that you enjoy. and time will do the rest.

Posted

Start by reminding yourself that not everybody is like your EX. Just because he hurt you doesn't mean everyone will.

 

 

Look around at your friends & family. Focus on people who have solid long term relationships. Look at your parents & grand parents, friends' parents, even some of your teachers. Try to figure out what common denominators you see among their interactions.

 

 

Now try again. Extend yourself to a friend. Take that risk of being hurt so you can get the reward of being loved.

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Posted

Thanks both for replying, and yeah, im 16.

 

And thats the problem - Right now I just feel pretty detached from life so nothing really distracts or interests me anymore :/

And its not that I think other guys will hurt me, I literally just dont feel anything for anyone these days. I used to get crushes all the time, and now its the opposite.

Plus any guys I do meet I kind of just compare to my old boyfriend, and then realise they wont fit with me like he did.

Posted
Plus any guys I do meet I kind of just compare to my old boyfriend, and then realise they wont fit with me like he did.

 

 

This is a bad habit & one you need to break now. Stop comparing. These other guys are not your EX. They won't fit with you like your EX. They will fit with you differently. Different might even be better. Continue to tell yourself that.

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