BigB Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 I have a friend who I can't seem to get out of my head. She's got a boyfriend now though, so I need to stop thinking about her all the time. I screwed up and missed my chance to ask her out before this new guy moved in. I'm pretty sure she isn't attracted to me because A) she's got the new boyfriend, and B) she's pretty much avoiding talking to me or spending time with me, but I still see her all the time when my friends get together. It's obviously awkward for her, I think she knows I like her (because I'm a genius, and told her best friend ), yet we haven't/don't talk about it. Last night we were watching some movies and she avoided me all night, more so than normal because the boyfriend was there. So I'm not thinking about her as much as I was after seeing her last week. Last week I spent some time with her at a party without the boyfriend present and she was being a lot more friendly towards me... but still seemed a little uncomfortable... Like she wanted to talk to me, but was afraid to or something.. Maybe she feels guilty talking to me or spending time with me because of the new boyfriend? I need to lay off the crushing and the flirting every time I see her, but my brain turns to mush when she's around and suddenly she's the only other person in the room... I do fine and don't think about her much when she's not around, but then every time I see her it all comes rushing back. I don't want to stop seeing her, she's my friend, but I just can't seem to stop having feelings for her... thanks for listening, B
Marshbear Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 B, She is uncomfortable around you because she knows you like her and she is trying to not give you signals that you might interpret wrong. Women do this all the time. When you told the friend you pretty much changed your friendship if she doesn't feel the same. Since she has a boyfriend and she knew you liked her it pretty much say she liked you as a friend only. Can you handle being just a friend? It's hard when you feel and they don't. I think your next course of action is to slowly withdraw yourself from her presence and start to look for another crush. It is the only way you can still be friends, if that is what you want. You will be happier and she will become comfortable around you again and life will go on. Do yourself a favor and don't talk about it. Just do as I suggested and things will work out. Peace...
Author BigB Posted June 4, 2005 Author Posted June 4, 2005 I do want to stay friends with her, We've been friends for years.. I only realized I had feelings for her last year before she moved away. She's back now, but she hooked up with this new guy before I knew she was back... I guess I need to just let things be for a while, and she'll hopefully get more comfortable around me in time... Maybe try to see her less for a few weeks and try to get her out of my head. arrrggg.. why can't I ever meet anyone who likes me back....
CaGirl1980 Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 The only experience I've had with this was back in highschool. I was totally in love with my best friend for like 3 years and it cause major major problems in our friendship. Basically the only way I was able to get over him was to stop talking to him. I know it's really hard and it sucks, but for me that was the only I could start thinking about other people. Everytime I was around him I still heald out hope. Others might have other suggestions, but good luck with the situation!
sarah12 Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 Everything people have said so far is bang on. The only way you ever get over those kinds of friendship-crushes is if you stop hanging out with them. Of course this isn't going to happen due to the mutual friends, so you'll probably have to just back away a bit when she is around. Talk to the other friends in the group, so she knows you aren't just focussing on her. It's very important to show her that you aren't making her the center of your world. I've had this happen so many times, from high school until now, and every time, the guy has cut off the friendship with me, or found ways to pick on me/make me look bad/berate me either in public or to my face just because they're upset I didn't like them back. So whatever you do - don't do this!! I've had very bad thoughts about each and every one of these guys who has done this to me, and in turn they have made themselves look like a nut job to everyone else.
Author BigB Posted June 4, 2005 Author Posted June 4, 2005 nah, I'm too nice to be mean to her... I stopped calling her as soon as I heard she hooked up with this dude... I don't see her much, we don't hang out one-on-one, never have. Guess I'll just avoid her back and see how it goes...
Author BigB Posted June 4, 2005 Author Posted June 4, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock Sleep with her. That will cure you right quick. I wish it was that easy...
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