Wanderer1 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 well, here is my story, last year the November 10th i got dumped big time. I pretty much lost everything in 15 mins. i was with her for 11 months and she was the first one to accept me for who i was. Before her i had a terrible break up and i was scared to get back into "the game" and i told her that she said it was okay we will take it slowly. Then the month of October i had exams every week and started talking to her a bit less. She felt like i ddnt care about her then she changed finally asking for a break then leaving me. I didnt have many friends to begin with but i got into a big fight with them because of her and none of them talk to me now. The worst thing is that one month later my grandma died, and i didnt feel much... The thing is ive tried everything except meeting her, she doesnt want to meet me. She was my everything...
bunk Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 Cut off any ties you have with her immediately. It might seem like the exact opposite of what you want to do, but it's what you need to do. Remove her from all social media, block her. If you have stuff from her or anything that reminds you of her, put it in a box and stash it away somewhere you can't see it. Include in the box her number, then delete her number in your contacts. That way... It's not gone forever. Then start trying to get back into your everyday routines. Try to reconcile things with your friends, make new friends, eat healthier, exercise, read more than ever. Live your life. As fullest as you possibly can. Anything to distract yourself from thinking about her. Eventually you'll be okay. At some point you'll be happier than you were in your previous relationship. But that's not gonna come easily. Try doing this for at least a month.
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 It's a new year. New you. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself: "It didn't work out, because it didn't work out. You were focused elsewhere, she was unable to stay the course. It faltered and failed due to poor input from both sides. Get over it, it was just a blimp on the walk. Man up, shoulders back, new day, gotta study, make it through, get the grades and meet the world head on." Please trust me when I tell you: It's an unsure future for all of us. This planet is going to pot, if we humans don't pull finger out and quit devastating it, socially, economically and environmentally. It's a selfish time. There are bigger things my friend, and you, as a young man, stand to inherit much of the crap the previous generation has bequeathed you. Unless we improve matters around us, fast, what will a relationship be worth? Let it go.
Author Wanderer1 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 Thank you for your advice. I did throw away everything i had that made me remember her. But we spent a lot of time in my house. i cant throw my house away too :/
Itsfriday Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 We all deserve the best. Go find a girl that's worth it. I saw this little phrase and my mindset has changed on relationships. A real woman makes your d**k hard, not your life. It is sketchy but you get the picture
Silver_star Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 Its Friday...that is a horrible immature quote. Not a great way of looking at things at all. no a woman (or a man) should not make your life more difficult, but if they don't challenge you then it is not fulfilling and if you only want them to "make your dick hard" then why even have a relationship? Anyways...OP. You are going to feel pain and sadness. If you try not to feel it you will still feel the pain later on. You can remember the good times and accept that it was part of your past. Take it one day at a time. There are other women who will make you feel all the things you felt before, and you need to understand that you can't make anyone love you...love is given freely.
Itsfriday Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 Ofcourse relationships are hard. they are alot of work, and by that i mean alot. Its always gonna be hard and its up to both people to make it work. But why stay if its bad, why stay with someone who can just get up and leave you without remorse for you or your feelings. The quote is not even a sexual term its deeper than that thats how men should look at it. Be with a woman who loves you and supports you and contributes to your life more positively than negatively.
Author Wanderer1 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 i get what itsfriday meant. its definitely hard to be in a relationship, but according to her i am the one who messed it up. And you know she did bring so much support and positive things to my life. Then one day just stopped. When asked she just said i learned to live without you.. Silver_star yes am trying to take it a day at a time. its best i can do in this situation especially since i dont have the closure. I went back to boxing and it does help a bit to exercise
Itsfriday Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 I know its hard dude. im not talking you down or anything. im talking to u as a man. break ups are tough. we all cry and hurt. but dont let this determine how you feel for another few months. Ive been in your spot and alot worst, right now im tryna mend back sumn with an old girl and if it doesnt work i will just have to accept it. You can live without her as well and prosper, an you'll find yourself a new girl that treasures you. so take care.
Author Wanderer1 Posted January 9, 2016 Author Posted January 9, 2016 what do you mean dont let this determine how i feel for the next few months? I feel regret mostly.. do you think am the bad guy in this?
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 what do you mean dont let this determine how i feel for the next few months? I feel regret mostly.. do you think am the bad guy in this? No, what he means is this: There is the incident. There is your response/reaction. The incident is over, but your response/reaction lingers. The incident is now past. Your response/emotions need to also dissipate and not occupy your thoughts constantly, because it is you - and not the incident itself - prolonging the agony. There comes a point when, after an experience, the experience loses its effect, but we ourselves perpetuate the emotional reaction. He means quit perpetuating the bad feelings and let go.....
Author Wanderer1 Posted January 11, 2016 Author Posted January 11, 2016 Yes i see that now, thank you for all your advice.
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