Kevin Kristopher Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 Its been almost a year an i still think about the fact that my ex girlfriend got a new boyfriend and it has really hurt my confidence, can anyone help or give advice to help me get over this, hell i even moved out of the freakin state so i can move on and though i've only been in this new state for 6 days i still dream and hell even fantasize about her and she has another boyfriend
westernxer Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 You've only been there six days... just give it some time. Do you still talk to her, too?
outdated Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 Dude, you're in a a new place. That means new girls. That means new girls. That means new girls. That means new girls. That means new girls. That means new girls. That means new girls. That means new girls... sorry I dozed off for a second.
Marshbear Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 It's been a year and you still have no closure? I realize you still love her but you need to face facts and think about you, not her. She is with another man. You live in a different state. I commend you for the move. I'm sure it was tough on you. You need to get out and mingle. Meet people and find a life in your new surroundings. The world is your oyster and there is a pearl waiting to be discovered ( wow. I always wanted to say that ). I wish you luck. Peace...
Author Kevin Kristopher Posted June 4, 2005 Author Posted June 4, 2005 nah not really, i mean before i left to come to WA i had talked to her a about 3 times in a span of 7-8 months but yeah i for some reason just got into this slump to where i am almost scared to talk to girls and i know im a very good lookin man who shouldnt be like this and it makes it even worse
alphamale Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear The world is your oyster and there is a pearl waiting to be discovered ( wow. I always wanted to say that ). Unfortunately, M.B., one must go thru about 10,000 oysters before one finds a decent sized pearl.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 Hey, it could be a lot worse. She could have had a new boyfriend while she was still with you! Look at this is a cosmic sign that it's time for you to find someone who will appreciate and value the love you have to give. I know it's hard. I still have a hard time thinking about the fact that my ex-husband has a new wife, and that was five years ago. It can be hard to accept at times, but know that it wasn't meant to be, or you'd still be with her. Just do your best to put yourself back out there in singles scene and make yourself available to meeting new women. Eventually (and maybe quicker than you think), you'll find someone who will knock your socks off and be someone that you can feel all those same kinds of strong feelings for. If you don't leave your heart open to the possibility of love, then you'll never find it again....and that would be sad indeed. Good luck!
BrotherAaron Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 It's unhealthy to still be thinking about her, and you really need to get that chick out of your head. I recommend a crash course in self-enjoyment. In other words, get a life (I don't mean that harshely ). Pick your interests, find places to go that will have people who share those interests, and just work on meeting people. You have to get out of your comfort zone and start changing your life so that you have new things to think about and you aren't stuck in the past. You've only been there for 6 days, so I'm sure you feel a bit itimidated, but also realize that you have a lot to discover about this new place. Go make some friends. Once you start having fun with some new friends, especially those of the female variety, you'll be done worrying about your ex and her new boyfriend.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 BrotherAaron is right. Try finding a social and/or volunteer club in the area. That would be a great way to make some new friends and potentially meet some women you could be interested in....and it would get you out of the house and hopefully away from obsessing over her.
chris1063 Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 It's tough man. I'm there at the moment about 4 months in. My ex has somebody new and it's hard to think about sometimes but you have to move on. I've been out at weekends and am starting to make new friends in the area I live already and it's a good feeling. Spent Friday night with a stunning girl I met in a local pub . Was my first "encounter" since the breakup and was a big boost for my confidence too. Get out there and have fun. Don't try and force anything but just go with the flow and see what turns up. Believe me - something will turn up if you keep yourself open to it. Chris
darhma Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 I think it is always harder when the ex finds a new person first. My ex not only found a new person he is getting married to a girl he found in Ukraine. Has known the girl for about 5 months and only spent about 2 weeks live with her. He said when she was walking up to him he knew he was going to marry if she would have him. Not sure if anyone has explained that if a Russian girl is breathing she will marry you...LOL I think it is just harder to handle that some one has moved on and just forgot all about you. That they found someone to replace you so easily when we are still over here dying. It almost makes you feel foolish for still caring about them. The only thing you can do is keep keeping on. By all means do not lose your dignity and do or say anything to make yourself look pathetic. One day you will find someone who will make you forget about them. This is the mantra I say to myself everyday. Believe it!!!
dogood4urself Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Hey, I just want to congratulate you for taking the right steps for yourself, moving somewhere new and all. I guess I just want to put some things in perspective, from the recent experiences I have had with my ex.... For me the hurt hasn't come so much from her actually moving on... but really my EGO's reaction to her moving on... Think about it.. if you are still suffering for her after a year, it probably has nothing to do with the fact that she has a new boyfriend... but more with you, and how you feel about yourself. You need to let that sh*t go, You are in a new city and you need to get a new start. Stop longing for someone else and occupy your mind and listen to what is going on with you. Be with yourself, as hard as that can be sometimes, it is overall important and necessary. Sometimes, I find myself fantasizing about her and how "good things were" but really it is just a fantasy created by the fear of being alone of not finding anyone ever again... So get started now! Get involved in activities and organizations that will give you a chance to meet new people, and remember you are not alone.....
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