John00 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 a incident happened the other day which caused my wife to become really overly upset and I want to get your opionions on whether her reaction was "normal". We live in sour there California so there is very little rain and I only have Sumer clothes and a few light jackets. Well now there is talk about a lot of rain coming for a few weeks. My wife came home with a box and it turned out to be a water proof jacket which I said thank you for but in my head I was thinking I don't need it. Well I didn't take it out the box or try it on right there and then and I was my wife was upset that I didn't make more of a fuss over it. Anyway I thought to resolve the tension the following morning I took a picture of me wearing it and sent it to her why she was at work. I thought she would be happy and the texts she replied to that day where nice so I thought everything was cool again. Well she came back home tonight all in tears that she got me this jacket and I did not even try it on when she handed it to me and went on about she spent her lunch break looking for a jacket for me. I am here thinking I did not ask for this or need this and she is making me feel guilty about me not showing appreciation for it. Is it just me that thinks this is totally insane or dues she have a point? I am just honestly lost for words to why she is in tears over this.
sandylee1 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 I have to say that used to annoy me early on when I got married. I'd buy my husband some item of clothing .. just out of love and as a suprise gift and it would stay in the kitchen or living room for days. He wouldn't try it on or show appreciation beyond saying thanks ..so I just stopped buying him clothing gifts if it wasn't a birthday /Christmas /anniversary etc If he suprised me like that.. I'd be hugging and kiss him to show my gratitude. That he was out and thought of me. You have to realise that she thought of you when she heard the rain was coming, spent her time getting you a jacket and at the time you didn't show her any appreciation. Her actions are what a loving wife thinking of her husband would do...... and you not even taking it out of the box was like a slap in the face. However ... you did try and redeem yourself by taking the pic the next day.. which in your wife's position.. I would be pleased about and probably wouldn't mention my being upset to you. I wouldn't get overly upset.... but when someone doesn't even bother to open the item.... TBH I find that discurteous and a bit ungrateful. To answer your question.. I don't think either of you are crazy... but you IMO you were wrong initially.. but she overreacted afterwards. I think it would help if you apologise for not trying it on at the time and say you didn't intend to upset her. That you appreciate how she thought of you on hearing the rain was coming. The apology will go a long way believe me.
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 I know it's not quite the same thing, but imagine buying your wife a little diamond pendant necklet, and she looks at it in the box and thinks "Oh thank you but in my head I was thinking I don't need it." She leaves it on the side, unopened. That's the kind of feeling she had. See, women are weird. They like 'the gesture'. THIS is what you should have done..... When guys do stuff, they do stuff because it needs doing. When women 'do' stuff, it's a gesture of love. Remember that, for a long and happy marriage.
five2nine Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 (edited) I doubt this is about "the jacket". I don't think any normal person would respond that way the first time someone was disinterested in their gift. She could be holding other things inside that she was unhappy with you about. And now it's created a snowball effect to where this was the thing she freaked out over. Ask her. Edited January 7, 2016 by five2nine 1
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