newbie800 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 (edited) hi there so I think I know deep down this question is no longer relevant bc the rs is over but here goes. I met a guy his ex was a stripper. we met twice and on the second occasion we kissed made out a bit more (no sex) and after that I was I guess i insecure negative etc bc i always felt he never wanted to see me again and one day he ended it..its more complicated than that but too long. we were both wrong but only I can admit my faults not once jas he admitted his part..I always told him if he wasnt interested tell me but he said he did yet we never met after..I would always say he was into strippers md gold diggers amd didn't want to downgrade...annyway..that ended end of Nov. I decided recently to join the singles in (my city) fb page and as I was scrolling I saw this post from this girl asking if there were genuine guys looking to hang out with her no romance and he had replied saying "nah"...another girl on another day had done a into bout herself and he had liked it...do I hv the right to be upset that he was still checking out this singles page while we were still talking..I agree we werent exactly in a rship after that time we made out bc everything turned crap cos of my negativity the thing that ended it was me saying how many better deals did he find in the two months I was tryng to meet him..he said it was bs but now im beg to think I was right..shld I be upset over him still cheking out the singles page when we were talking to each other? Edited January 7, 2016 by newbie800
Mrin Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 No. You met twice. You have no reason to be upset.
Author newbie800 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 but for two months I feel he led me on..he knew I hadn't exactly been in a rship before (im 28 and not exactly am expert in rships only one short term rship who messed me up big time)..he kept sayn lets meet but wouldnt or I would cancel cos somethng came up..it feels a bit like cheating in my world if you make out with someone you say u wanna meet them prolong ending it for two months but all he time he was prob on the lookout for someone else..is those two events posting nah to that girl and likong thst post..would tht be considered cheating under normal circumstamces
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 You're absolutely right. There is no relationship so the question is both irrelevant and pointless. How has he managed to get his hooks so far into you that you keep mulling this over? Leave it be, forget it, move on.
Author newbie800 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 (edited) because I guess I regret making out with him..it makes me feel slutty..its my fault for letting it happen but at he time I wanted it..it sucks to think people pretend all the time they are a saint but they are tryn to find someome better but (see how new at rships I am that I am jist learning that ppl are douches) Edited January 7, 2016 by newbie800
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 This is what is known as 'experience'. You were probably chasing something you wanted and might have been blind to the obvious. He wanted something too, and playing on your requirements, got it. Don't beat yourself up. Ultimately, in the dating game, broadly, loosely and generally speaking, women seek the knight on the white charger, while some men seek a convenient leg-over. Next time, don't be so ready to give out. The sincere ones, won't give up.
Author newbie800 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 I didn't really want him tbh I really just wanted him to admit he didn't want to see me again and told him many times to admit it (I did not get closure from the giy who messed me up so i needed it from this guy).ultimately he told me I complained a lot and lacked confidence (told him he didn't want a nerd like me cos he was use to strippers amd hot chicks)..I didnt sleep with him so I dont feel like he really got much out of me (I kissed and shamefully gave a handjob which is what really embarrasses me) and yes I shouldnt have done itnso quickly but you are right..experience. he messaged me the day after we made out good morning and wld msg me gd morning every day and by day 4 I got real tired of it lol cos I felt no real conversation was being made I said..a ant cld hv a better conversation than us..I think it was the starting of a horrible ending..but two months man ppl say he was prob seeing if I wld change my negative attitude and was giving me a chance..butbi disagree..im just didnt know what I was doing..urg.
Author newbie800 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 infact I knew we were so diff I just wanted it to work purrly because I didnt wanna be the girl who made out with someone and didnt see him again..msging me means nothing to me..I feel no loss I know I can do better..but arg it annoys me to think he was like "hahaha..im fooling her"
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 Ok. Done now? It was 8 weeks and tbh, it's possible he had other ladies to see as well. Jeesh, 8 weeks out of your life - that's longer than I get for annual holiday! Just let it go, now, ok? Move on. Quit crabbing, because it's not really doing you any good now.... you're just keeping yourself in the swamp...... 'Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, start all over again'. yeah.....?
Author newbie800 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 guess soooo..8 weeks in my life is a nice way of looking st it
anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 It seems to me that this has nothing to do with this guy and everything to do with your self esteem/self confidence. You say you've never really been in a serious relationship, which tells me you've never been dumped and probably don't have much experience with rejection. This might not be true, but it's at least a theory. Forget this guy. He doesn't really sound like a super great dude, you don't need him. And you're not a slut for making out with him. If that really does bother you, now you know that it's something you won't do next time. Just because things didn't work out with him doesn't mean they won't work out with a new guy. But allowing yourself to be tied up on someone who doesn't want you is a sure fire way to never meet that new guy.
Author newbie800 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 ive had rejection from the first guy who messed me...he secretly got engaged and and away frm the country to get married in his home country and I found out through facebook and never got an explanation. I cried for 9months straight and then when i got ova it I met this guy I guess he put up with my negaivity for two months but its not tht hard to send a msg or answer my calls once in a while..over it..stuff holding on to this..both guys moved on quickly and I'm the one who wastes my time and energy...thanks guys for the advice
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