LilMama1097 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 (edited) I feel like my biggest enemy in coping right now is missing the "comfort" and trying to break the routine. I reach for my phone at work on my lunch break and feel empty when I realize we aren't together anymore. I reach for my phone again after work with my headset on, ready to talk to him on my way home. I walk in the door with my kids and there's no life in our home. He's not there smiling when I walk in.........I try to think back to happy memories with him but I can't think of any :/ I only remember him being so mean, so cold, so snappy, so negative. I ask myself WHY do you miss him? Why is this so hard? The only answer I come up with is "I love him." I remember so many nights of him being horrible to me and thinking "nobody is perfect, these are things you just need to accept about him. " I care for him deeply yet he's still horrible to me. The last time I spoke to him days ago he said "you stress me out even when we're not together" Has he ever thought what he does and has done to me? I just want to be over him, I want to purify my mind from any thoughts of this toxic man. I let him define my worth. Since we broke up I've been SO successful. I went from no job to a full time, high paying career. I've put all my energy into being successful and providing the best life for my kids and I that I can. Since we've broke up, he's started drinking and drinking a lot (he never drank when we were together) he takes a lot of benzos (narcotic anxiety meds) and is late to work all the time. Yet he broke up with me because I want pulling my weight financially. Well karma is a mother fkr. I put my life on hold to support his dreams and when he reached them, he turned his back on me rather than supporting my dreams like I did his. He betrayed me. I'm sorry, I had to write this out because it's weighing heavy on my mind and I guess this is a part of coping. Thank you Edited January 7, 2016 by LilMama1097
Heather4 Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 Same thing happened wih me. And my ex got with the girl who tried getting with him while we were together. Thry had a baby and now hes a lonely druggie while I make good money and go to school. Funny tho..hes still prob happier than my depressed single ass lol
Author LilMama1097 Posted January 8, 2016 Author Posted January 8, 2016 Yeah, these jerks are less successful then us but happier because they are selfish and didn't give themselves completely to us like we did to them. I've never felt more betrayed in my life because I truly trusted him completely.
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