Ex gf left to be with a married man who is also my boss

[acorym]

Hi all. Been dealing with this personal situation now for about 5 months. I'm 35 and my ex is 25. We were together for 1 year 8 months. During that time, we did all the things a couple would do. Meet family, weekends away, so on. She started working at the company where I'm a shift supervisor. We had got to know each other over some weeks and started dating in May of 2014. Over the time we were together, we talked about what our future could hold for us. She had even gone as far as referring me as her "FH", future husband, to her family and friends. That is the path we were on up to this past late summer.

 

 

She had been a part of layoffs here where we work early in 2015. Eventually she was hired back but on a different shift. I felt this was a good move at the time as work relationships can become a problem for some. I preferred to keep things professional while at work, keeping our life together separate. Unfortunately, at least in my case, I had put my work first as a priority. I made my mistakes during the relationship and admitted to them. None of that prepared me for what happened though.

 

 

See, another manager in the plant, who is 2 years older than me, married with a teenage daughter and a massive history of cheating on his wife, 3 at work that I know of, was questioning my relationship with my ex. He acted like he was upset that I was with her instead of him. He made sure she went to the other shift when she was hired back. As soon as she arrived, he started his game, giving her attention in and out of work. I was blind to this since I felt our relationship was stronger. Little did I realize how weak it was.

 

 

She broke up with me and 2 days later, was "in his bed", both literally and figuratively. They both claim that they did not cheat with him saying that he and his wife had already separated yet he was living at home with her and his daughter. My ex did not have a place of her own, living on her aunts couch basically. I take care of my disable mother, which I know takes a lot of time away from being with her. Again, a mistake that I realize and accept.

 

 

In the end, she chose to throw away our relationship to go and be with this guy, who is my boss at work. They apparently couldn't keep it together at work and a harassment claim went through. Company was forced to separate them and he is now on my shift as the manager. I have done all I can to move on from this situation short of leaving my job. Since this has all went down, I still see my ex everyday. We have not spoken, let alone acknowledged each others existence, for 4 months. I deleted all her contacts and social media stuff. I realize she is no longer in my life. Seeing it everyday though is making it harder to move on. I do not want to make is seem that I am running away, but I know that continue working here and seeing this is effecting my personal mood. I have tried to keep my dignity intact, choosing to not add any more difficulties to this situation yet, it's still there, the hurt and love both.

 

 

There's much more to it but let that go for another time. Thoughts?

[Captivating]

Acorym,

Wow, what a difficult situation! Do you like this job ?? Would you consider changing jobs?

This is a stressful and emotionally draining situation. You don't have the chance to move on since you see both of them everyday. She didn't only leave you but left you for someone else. (I have been there, it sucks !) You also have a lot on your plate with other aspects of your life, such as taking care of your Mom, which is very nice of you !!! That's how it should be.

 

My advice would be to change jobs if you can. It is interesting that your boss didn't lose his job when he should have.

 

Although you are in a difficult situation at the moment, it will get better, don't worry. Try to keep an open mind and start dating again. You are young ! Have your priorities in order.

[acorym]

I am currently looking into other jobs, schooling, so on. Finished off resume and posted to job sites. Hard thing to do since I've been here for 15 years now, having worked my way up the ranks to supervisor, just not salary as my boss is.

 

 

The entire situation has gotten ugly overall, to the point of affecting the overall morale of the plant floor. I've had crew members from all shifts say to me how much loss of respect they have for the company and the guy and my ex. I have a lot of support from them, which I greatly appreciate. To compound it all, my friend of 20 years, whom I love like a brother, got caught up in the mess. My boss basically used my friend to get close to my ex, setting up times to hang out with them and play his game. Stories and lies were told about me to my ex, so much so that she blamed me, even to this day, for cheating on her with another girl on my shift. This other girl just so happened to have cheated with my boss, the guy who is with my ex now, last year. This other girl, girl #2, not my ex, even admitted to me that she was with him. So all he did was replace my name with his and told my ex the stories and lies. Its been such a sad and sick situation.

 

 

There was no question in my mind where we were headed and she felt the same way, at least at some point. But she chose to go with him instead. Now he has moved into an apartment recently, leaving his wife and daughter. I can assume my ex will or has moved in with him. Again, I do my best not to think or dwell on it, yet when I see it everyday, its hard to not. From what I've been told by others and yes, I understand it's not always good to listen to the ramblings of others, they spend each night at a bar, getting good and wasted. That is basically what they built their relationship on. Alcohol, lies and cheating. He can no longer have kids and I know she wants some. So, bigger picture? no real future but in the short term, I do what I can to not dwell. A new job, new environment may just be the best option at this point. My crew, my team, can see and sense the change in my attitude and it's not always the best.

[acorym]

Looking back at all that has happened over the past 5 months or so, I've dealt with this situation to the best of my ability. We aren't in high school here, it's the real world. Unfortunately, the whole thing played out just like a high school drama would have with gossip, blame game, no taking responsibility for actions or inactions. If it were high school, fists would have been thrown and that would have been the end of it. I realized now that the woman I fell in love with never existed to begin with. My ex had hid so much of herself throughout our relationship that the woman I knew wasn't real. I'm not saying that I didn't make my own mistakes. I know where I need to make adjustments to my way of thinking. Where I can better myself. I'm not naïve enough believe that my own actions or inactions didn't cause her pain. In the end, she chose to go the path of lies on her own, no matter what I did or didn't do.

 

 

Moving on with my life now is what I'm focusing on. Dealing with this guy everyday though and seeing her and how they act together makes it difficult. Especially when ever I see this guy or hear him talk and all I want to do, all I feel, is how much I want to throttle this guy. Going on day by day with that kind of hate is draining. Talking it out doesn't help much since no matter what, you can't change the past. You can't change the way someone is, the lack of morals and decency. As much as I hurt from the actions of my ex, I think of how his wife and daughter must feel. He threw they away like a used wet nap, 17 year relationship. I've known this guy for 15 years, trusted him and he threw that out. He acts cavalier about it, like it's nothing new. My ex can't even look at me. Basically we act dead to each other. That sucks.

 

 

I decided to put this on here as a way for me to get things off my chest. Also to let others know and myself too, that you aren't alone. I've felt very lonely and desperate because of all this. The people I hold closest to me hurt me in a way I never thought possible. My ex, who I truly do not hate, just what she did. My friend of 20 years for his lies that he told about my life, claiming he didn't know yet was there with them and talked with them for much of it. My boss, who I did trust and like for many years, now can't stand to see or hear his voice. Times like this bring out who you are deep at your core. I admit I got knocked out of my center over this and have felt lost. Getting right in the head is a hard thing to do when all around you, the people you trusted and loved, went along with actions that destroyed your faith in yourself and them.

 

 

Thoughts?

[Captivating]

You are very articulate, so it's easy to understand what you're going through.

It's brutal. I understand that you feel deceived by all 3 people.

You know I came to the realization that there is this "falling in love" thing which is such a strong, instinctive force that it is very hard to resist. Not impossible. This honey-moon phase never lasts in any relationship, it will calm down eventually and that's when reality sets in.

My assumption about your ex's new relationship with your boss won't last. They hurt 3 people with their choice - You, the ex wife and daughter- and this pain possibly affect their relationship later on.

 

 

I agree with you, you handled the situation much better and gracefully than most people would have. That's shows inner strength and class. It is completely understandable that you hate the guy and this whole f... up situation, BUT DON'T ACT OUT ON IT! This is why you should get another job if you can, so that you can properly move on starting with the grieving process. Let yourself feel whatever you feel, don't suppress it. If you need to cry then cry (preferably at home

If questions arise in your head let it happen. It is completely normal and necessary to move on.

 

Your ex can't look at you because she feels guilty. Your boss is a cocky ass who lacks compassion and selfish. He will treat your ex that way too after the "love" fades. He left his family for god's sake. He had other relationships at the firm and he cheated on his wife. I doubt that your ex will be his last woman.

 

It is awesome that you are venting up here, keep doing that. It is helpful.

 

At one point in time try to forgive these guys for their lack of integrity and deep rooted flaws. Eventually of course I know that things are boiling inside of you right now. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE, TRUST ME !!!!! Things settle down, you start to see and feel more clearly every day. One day you will meet someone really incredible and you won't be bothered about this crap that is happening right now.

 

DON'T LET THIS SITUATION MESS WITH YOUR FAITH IN PEOPLE !!!! These guys don't define an entire human race. There are so many kind hearted, nice, compassionate people out there, it's worth to keep looking ! NEVER GIVE UP !

 

I had a couple of breakups that messed with me at the time.....NOW I am wondering what I was thinking going out with those guys I am in complete peace with the past, no harbored feelings.

They both wanted to come back later.

 

Occupy yourself, find new ways to grow, new experiences, learn to cook, READ, watch intriguing documentaries on health/nutrition on Netflix, sign up to a credible relationship site and ask ladies out for coffee dates, you can keep these short if you need to, but after 30 dates there is a good chance that you will find someone incredible, right ?

So just keep an open mind ! (don't talk about exes!) Light, fun conversation. SMILE!

 

(this is my second language, grammar mistakes

[acorym]

Captivating, I appreciate your words of encouragement.

 

 

Time will heal wounds, as the saying goes. I've always prided myself on being the solid one, able to withstand and weather any situation thrown my way. In this one though, emotions are too raw and thoughts are stuck in a loop of play, rewind, suffer, repeat. I know that to remain at this place of employment, where all the dirty laundry was aired out for all to see and speak on, will keep me in this frame of mind. A new environment will give me the opportunity to ease up on this way of thinking and not be bombarded with the thoughts, not always good ones, of this.

 

 

Throughout all of this, I've done pretty much what any person would do. Analyze the situation to the point of obsession. There was and is a definite "no contact" period that happened. Yes, I made the same mistake many have done and tried to "work it out" after the break up, trying to keep an open dialogue with her. During the initial part of us breaking up, I thought and acted understanding. It wasn't till 2 weeks later that I found out all the dirty lies that had been going on for the previous 2 months, the last 2 months of our relationship where she had been spending much of her time in and out of work with this guy. As I've said before, I made my mistakes in the relationship and admitted to them as something I need to fix in myself. None of those, or the mistakes she made, would have made me give up on our future together the way she did. I also find it funny, at least to a point, that the 2 of them are doing all the things that her and I had planned doing together, such as going to professional football game, so on.

 

 

One thing I want to speak on to all here is this ; texting. Texting has become too much of our daily lives, our relationships. I have always been a face to face person, preferring to speak that way. The phone, texting, email and what not should be used for short msgs, not entire dates. Watching my boss throughout the day, he is literally incapable of not putting his phone down for more than 5 minutes. He his on his phone, texting with my ex I would assume, more than 80% of the time he is here. I texted with her yes, but kept it short and to the point preferring to see her in person. She did not like this one bit as she would get upset with me if I did not respond to her within 5 minutes of her text. She is also a facebook over poster. I actually researched what a narcissist is after the break up and it fit her and the situation we are in exactly. I was blown away by this.

 

 

Point is folks, put the phone down. Talk to people. Don't write them every second of your life. Live your life rather than type it out. If you say all you want to say in a text, what more is there to look forward to?

 

 

Thoughts?

[Captivating]

This post breakup obsessive over thinking is completely normal. Don't beat yourself about this, we all do this. Our brain is trying to keep us safe, from the stresses that we are going through, it is obsessively replay the last weeks of the relationship, we analyze every bits and pieces. The brain focuses on the pain, searches for answers.

 

There is a psychologist who has a very interesting video about this, I included it in my signature underneath, check it out! He has other videos on youtube.

[acorym]

Captivating, just finished watching some of the videos that you posted the link to. Seeing those, along with other research I've done, it makes sense. Many times with the relationships we have throughout life, both friends and intimate, don't survive. As I said in previous post, the woman I fell in love with never existed. I never knew her real self. The only time I caught a glimpse of her real self was when she was done feeding off me and discarded me. That is the essence of the narcissist, or as much as I've dealt with up to this point. See, she put on this façade, this mask, of who she wanted me and those close to us to see. When she found a new source of attention, a new meal, one who was willing to sacrifice all he held close just to have another notch in his belt, she got rid of me in the most humiliating, hurtful way possible. I know this cause I've lived it.

 

 

Just like the guy said in your video, and some others I watched, the view of the world is different for everyone. Its based off their experiences in life. I'm of the type that attempts to see the good in those around me and the world as a whole. Basically, the typical "nice guy" who treats those as I would like to be treated, with common decency. Unfortunately I've just had a hard lesson in life, one that shows not all people have these basic morals, basic decency. Whatever happened in their life, or maybe they were just fashioned or taught this way of thinking, they believe that the goal in life is to get what you want, no matter the cost or damage that happens. My ex is this way. Instant gratification is her way of thinking. She want's it now and it doesn't matter who or what she hurts as long as she gets it now. This makes her self image, her worth, her ego boost cause this guy she is with now, my boss, is willing to throw out all he has, his daughter, his wife, his self respect, just for her. That kind of sacrifice would blind you to all consequences of actions.

 

 

She is a narcissist through and through but so is he. What we have all heard for a long time is "opposites attract." Well, what I've learned over these past months is "like minded attracts like minded." When I look at the overall picture, my ex and my boss have more in common in the way they think and perceive the world than me and my ex. While I don't agree and am not happy with how they did it, cheats and lies, I also feel that it's better they feed off each other than to hurt another as they have his family and myself. As many have said, they will burn each other out, use up all the energy.

 

 

I would never fault anyone for pursuing their own happiness. But in that pursuit, don't destroy another's happiness just to get your own. That is at the heart of this. My boss has lied to the company, told stories about me and my life to the point my ex believed that I cheated on her. He has backtracked on his own saying so much so that I don't think he remembers the initial lie that he said. There is not one good thing about this guy. In the end though, it's not my fault they are the way they are. Some folks just don't progress past being 16 years old, they stay in that frame of mind where they can do things and damn the consequences.

[Captivating]

You said:

"I would never fault anyone for pursuing their own happiness. But in that pursuit, don't destroy another's happiness just to get your own....."

 

You are absolutely right. I don't think that this new relationship has the foundation to last. Your ex has a hard time looking you in the eye, because she knows that the way the breakup was handled on their end is absolutely brutal and unforgivable to be honest.

People do break up but she could have done steps to keep things civil.

 

You had a brutal breakup with her. She didn't only break your heart, they both messed with your ego, they disrespected you in their childish way. She could have had a talk with this new guy to leave you alone and be respectful. This is the least an emotionally mature person would do.

You are WAY better than her !!!! You don't need this!

 

The lies your boss spreading about you is a reflection on him. I have a feeling that he is very insecure if he needs to spread rumors about you to get your ex and to try to polish the lost respect towards them. Why can't he prove himself by being himself leaving you out of this ?? He has not much to offer, if I have to guess If I were you I would act like they don't exist.

Be very kind and respectful towards others and ignore them completely.

Ignore your ex too, don't answer to any of her contact attempt. I bet she will try later.

 

There are people who are either immature, lack personality or desperately want to be validated by their loved ones, this is when we see changes in their behavior that we have never seen before. It is strange

 

Acorym, you seem to be a really nice guy, I don't think that you will have any problem finding a sweet, caring girl with the same moral compass as you possess.

 

So start dating, your ex will be pissed you will see !!!! She will have doubts all of a sudden. She will have a hard time accepting that you moved on. Your confidence will return, soon you will radiate happiness which is very attractive for everyone around you.

It hurts now but it will get better soon. There will be a time when you ask yourself, "what was I thinking" dating her.

 

Keep us posted how things are! ttyl

Keep your chin up, YOU ARE A CATCH !!!

[Chi townD]

Dude, just get out of there. Put out resumes and just go. You have 15 years experience in your field, it shouldn't be too hard to move on from there and get with somewhere new. Plus, being there 15 years and getting promoted only up to supervisor tells me that the job your at doesn't allow a lot of space to excel.

 

 

Don't even let people know you're looking. Once you get a new job, just leave. Tell the new place you can start immediately and move on.

[acorym]

I have a few resumes out there, posting to some job openings. Shall see what unfolds.

 

 

Something a bit funny did happen over last few days. The girl my ex accused me of cheating with, girl #2 who had previously worked on my shift before quitting(another funny part of story), stopped by here couple days ago to visit. She spoke with my boss first, some things were said that another team member overheard. Then I spoke with her. I haven't seen or spoke with her since all this went down 5 months ago, so I filled her in on all that was said and done. She then told me that her and my boss were "close" a year ago and at that time, my boss spoke badly of my ex, calling her derogatory names and the like. Kinda funny that he would say that only to be with her now and that over these past 2 years, he was upset that I dated her. To add to it, girl #2 said of the lies told about me cheating, that my boss just replaces his name with mine and told my ex all the stories of the cheating. Her words, not mine.

 

 

So this was 2 days ago and girl #2 visited again today. She went to show something on facebook to a friend here and realized that she is now blocked out from my boss and my ex page when she hadn't been up to 2 days ago. Kinda funny how just after I tell girl #2 all that happened, tell her the truth and tell her how the lies were said about us and now she's blocked. So my ex and boss have effectively done a media blackout so that their lies don't fall apart.

 

 

I realized a while ago that no matter what is done or said, those 2 have to follow this through to whatever end. The moment one or the other come to grips with their actions, they then have to live with the consequences. Right now, the consequences don't matter to them. They are in the "honeymoon" phase as was said before and until that ends, they will be blind to all they have done. By blocking out all those that they had at one time considered friends, they are able to live out the lies longer and keep their fantasy alive. My hope is that when they do get to this point, his wife, daughter and myself are at a peaceful place in our lives so that we don't allow these kind of people in again. As much as I still care and love my ex, at least on some level, I know that I can never have her in my life again. That single thing is what makes it harder for me to let this go cause a part of me doesn't want to. Part of me would rather feel the pain to let her go cause then, on some level, she's still a part of my life. Even when she's not physically there. The other part knows she never will be again cause I could never trust her again, as a lover, friend, person, human being.

[Chi townD]

Dude, the more you write, the more it starts to make sense. Your Ex accused you of cheating with girl #2. Which was ridiculous right? Not so much now. She was accusing you of cheating to justify and give herself permission to cheat with your boss. She convinced herself that if you were doing it, she can to it too. It was just a way to ease her guilt.

[VeveCakes]

I think you need to stay away from girl #2. Why is she showing up there after leaving that job? You are just making it harder on yourself to hear these stories and listen about FB drama.

 

They all sound like they are making terrible life choices. Steer clear.

[brothers343]

You have to get another job and start over my friend. Plus why would you want her back....she's used goods. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders don't let this ruin that. Another one will take her place.

[acorym]

Thank you all for the support and advice you've been giving, it's much appreciated. I have resumes out at the online job places, seeing what can happen. At this point, a new environment is my top priority. Biggest issue I'm having now is, as I've stated before, I'm not acting the leader that my team is deserving of and that is unfair to them. Getting the right frame of mind is the first step to getting to where I need to be to make a new path. Being upset, hurt, confused and the like and dealing with it everyday, like a revolving door, keeps my mind from pushing forward. I tell myself each day that life goes on, yet the mind repeats it and replays. This happens to all at some point, a smell, a sound, song, something reminds them of the past, yet dealing with it each day is a torture that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

 

 

I laugh, sarcastically, at all this as it is starting to feel like a day time soap show drama. As I've said, girl #2 had visited here at work over last few days. Now, as my boss explained it to myself and 2 others from the team, the fact that she had visited "somehow" was found out by the top manager of the plant. Now, most companies in general don't allow ex-employees to visit inside the building and in truth, I agree with that. But since girl #2 visited and confronted my boss about this situation, telling him that his daughter reached out to her and that she is very upset with this all, crying everyday and what not, he blew it off like it was nothing and changed the subject. So, here it is, a day later and now my boss tells us we can't have anyone visit anymore. This, right after girl#2 visiting, calling him out, her hearing the truth of how it all went down. He also claims he doesn't know how they found out, but just by the way he was talking, you can tell it was him who mentioned something in someway. I see it as this : he can't allow her to be around, to poke holes and question things cause then his lies start to fall apart, his fantasy world of sunshine rainbows and unicorns starts crashing down. So, tie it all together, the social media blackout, her not allowed to visit and you can see him pushing her out so that his lie stays together.

 

 

I don't know about any of you but I don't have the energy in me to keep up a lie like this. My ex and my boss have lied and twisted the truth so much so that I don't think they remember the original lie. I'll be honest, I've never dealt with this level of dishonesty ever before in my personal life. The 2 of them have literally killed all friendships they had with folks here just to keep their lie alive a bit longer. It baffles me that someone could do this and feel that their lives will be fulfilling. Again, all this adds up to one thing : I never knew them. I never knew her fully. I blocked out all those red flags in her. I made the cardinal mistake that one makes and painted her as how I wanted to see her. That was my mistake and one I will never make again and hope that none of you will either. Get to truly know each other before opening up to something more real folks.

[Chi townD]

Personally, I would still get out of there. Find a new job and ditch the drama. But, if it were me, I would drop a line to his wife and let her know about the affairs he's been having. She has a right to know what kind of a scumbag she married and she has a right to make an informed decision on what she wants to do with her marriage.

[acorym]

I hear what you're saying there. Truth is, his wife does know. The guy has even started speaking to my team about the goings on with my ex. Such as his wife doesn't want their daughter around her. He has already moved into his own apartment. Now I don't know for sure but I can assume that my ex has moved in with him. They are playing house basically and he is trying to act like it's ok and everyone is fine with their deception, going so far as to get his daughter to hang out with my ex. Now, his daughter is 13, my ex is 25. Not much of an age difference there. In my opinion, he is teaching his daughter that it's ok for a man to treat women like garbage. Again, that's my opinion.

 

 

His wife is fully aware of what has happened. He has spoken, on occasion, that he thinks his wife is "ok" and being cool about it all. I don't think he is living in reality right now. Some of my team members have relayed to me that he spends each night at some bar with my ex and dropping $1000 dollars at the casino. Now, does this sound like someone who has the future in mind? His daughter, himself, my ex's future? I don't think either one of them have a clue of the shaky foundation they live on right now. But then, it's also not my problem anymore. They chose this, they must live with it. What I think, say or do has no effect on them and that's what I have to remember each day. They are no longer my problem and I am no longer hers.

[LivingWaterPlease]

acorym, good that you have a place to post here and hope that you'll be able to move on and let the drama that's happening all around you go.

 

The best thing you can do is to continue to live above it and don't talk to anyone at your workplace or connected to your workplace about it.

 

Continue to live in a way that will convince others the things being said about you are, indeed, lies.

 

Good for you looking for a new job!

[acorym]

I find it strange sometimes. The world we live in, with communication so easy to and fast to come by, what with internet, forums, texting, so forth, that we as people can open up to those we just met, share our inner most stories of love and pain, yet when it comes to those closest to us in our lives, we hold back. Our friends, family and lovers who should know us, every scar, every pain, every emotion, we show them what we want them to see. Perfect strangers, ones who in all reality will never meet face to face, we share our stories of love and pain as freely as we would say "hi, how are you?" Funny huh?

 

 

So, another day, another dollar and another twist. Mostly what I speak on here happens at work since that is, in all reality, where most of this happens now since I don't associate with my ex or my boss outside of work. Apparently, my boss was called in early for some computer issue today. He spent 4 hours on the dayshift team where, in that time, he disrupted the flow and undermined the leadership of the daytime supervisor. There was even an issue with a music radio where the top boss of plant asked the daytime supervisor to keep the volume lower, to respect fellow employees and what not. If this was not followed, all radios would be removed. I agree with this and it has been followed for weeks now. Step in my boss, for 4 hours today and my ex goes over and turns the volume all the way up, smiling at my boss and he smiling back, as if to say to all, "screw you, I'm with him and you can't say anything about it." Now, are these the actions of adults? I don't think so. These are the actions of teenagers, rebelling. These are 2 people feeding off the drama. Within a matter of 4 hour span, the day turn team had been pulled back into the drama BS of those 2 and they loved every minute of it.

 

 

This is why I try, and fail most of the time, to keep my mind out of it. Sometimes I do, sometimes not. It is my own fault for allowing this to have gotten to me as bad as it did and they, especially him, knows it did. On that aspect, I lost and I admit that. I have been speaking with my boss on a more civil level, at least since I started posting on here. Speaking of work issues and what not only. Got put up a front sometimes. As the saying goes, "fake it till you make it.''

 

 

Take care folks

[Captivating]

Acorym,

Yes, it is funny how we are able to open up and share our deepest feelings up here with strangers and not with our loved ones. Partly because you are in a safe place, we don't know who you are, you feel less judged since most of us can relate what you are going through, this is why we are all here. For support.

 

Your boss and ex :

I think your boss had an eye on your ex for a while, and it was a challenge for him winning her over. Although he did it in the most dishonest cowardly manner. He is even proud of this, what an idiot. Your ex doesn't know this. She loves and gobbles all the attention up ! Self esteem issues, being young and immature. I don't think that there is any grounds for this relationship to last, it seems to be purely infatuation.

 

How long will this last ?? I doubt that it will last long.

I bet, if you left your job, soon after , a month or two it would fizzle.

You keep the excitement going involuntarily.

 

I don't understand how your boss doesn't lose his job.....it would be really convenient for you. This way you don't have to change jobs, you might even get his job Your ex would be very uncomfortable. Your boss would be out of his comfort zone if he lost his job. No money, no fun times after work, being very moody, no erection !!! He would try to crawl back to his wife.

 

Maybe try this rout too !!! I know, I am kind of feisty

I wish I could help you with this ... I could get hired, I could tease your boss, getting him into all kinds of trouble He seems to be a simple minded dude, not much is going up there. (in his head)

You seem to be very analytical, intelligent, use your power ! Be smart and quiet about this, don't trust anyone!

 

You need to get away from them one way or the other, it would speed up your healing and could potentially find a great girl who would be a much better fit to your life.

This psychosomatic pain is undermining your health, it is chronic stress for 5 months now ?? Stress is very harmful potentially can be deadly. I don't want you to get a heart attack or stroke over this. They don't worth it, right?

 

You are a really nice guy, smart, caring with a strong moral compass, good work ethic, industrious, ambitious, responsible, kind and respectful. You have a lot to offer for someone who is worthy !!!! Really! You'd better believe that!

 

The issue with the radio, very immature. They are feeding off of each other. Your ex likes the attention of an older "man in power" and he likes the fact that he actually won over a much younger woman from an other man.

 

If this would change I bet their relationship dynamics would too, very fast.

 

keep us posted, keep your chin up indulge in a new hobby,,,,cooking ? VEGAN !!!

[acorym]

Captivating, again I appreciate your input as well as all the others.

 

 

You hit the nail right on the head. My boss was the only one to question me about dating my ex a year ago. He was the only one to say to me directly that, as a supervisor, I shouldn't be doing that. I find if funny how, as was relayed to me a few months ago, that when he was questioned about now dating my ex, his response to the HR dept was, "I didn't know we couldn't do that as managers." So, there it is, a twisting of the truth to favor his lies.

 

 

I don't have an answer as to why he still has a job here. I've knows this guy since I started here 15 years ago. He was my first partner on the line, working together. I've seen him interact with people on a much too personal level more times than I can count. The fact that he, for lack of a better phrase, "kissed the asses and got on his knees" of the top managers of the company and literally walked on the backs of those around him to get where his is in the rank n file of the company shows his lack of respect. He is just that type, the type to use n abuse those around him to get what he desires. I feel he's always been this way since being a kid, the spoiled kind who got away with murder and no real consequences.

 

 

Again, this is just my own personal view, opinion. I only speak of what I know of him for the time I've known him. And that is that he lacks anything resembling a person of quality and standards. In the time that me and my ex were together, I've seen her at her best and her worst. She was in a massive car accident where truck ran her off the highway into the cement barrier. She nearly died and had her leg nearly cut off just below her knee cap. I found out about it from her sister who told me a few hours after the accident. I was there for her in the hospital as soon as I found out. I was there for her as much as I could be. Yet, she claims I wasn't there for her at all over the duration of relationship. So be it, if that's all she sees cause in truth, she wanted, she craved attention 24/7 and if she wasn't getting it, she got mad. I know she wanted attention from me, I admitted that I didn't make her the top priority in my life. Yet during all this time, my boss, who I trusted and spoke to about my life with her, faked and feigned to be on my side, giving me words of support and at the same time was giving her all the attention she craved. Yes, I trusted them both and that was my undoing cause I didn't see what was really happening.

 

 

The after effect of it all was yeah, he planned it. He was on the hunt. He did all he could, played his game and got his prize. But, honestly, is that prize worth the loss of family, of respect, of self? I don't know about that. And she lost just as much in the end. I truly don't feel they gained as much as they lost.

 

 

For my part, well, getting on the best way I can. On some good news, will be going to the dayshift team for a week or so to learn a new machine, one that will keep me busy, take me away from many of the management decisions. Not as good as finding a new job yet, which will happen, but a good start to keeping my mind occupied. It will be interesting to say the least since I'll be on the shift with my ex. Keep cool and calm, right? LOL

 

 

Take care

[Toodaloo]

Acorym

 

Keep up those applications.

 

Keep your head down. Do what is right for your team.

 

Use this as an excuse to better yourself and go for a better paid job else where.

 

Keep as far away from your boss and your ex.

 

Follow company rule to the letter and get the hell out.

 

You will be much happier as soon as you are out of there.

 

Keep at it and keep those applications going.

[mightycpa]

Too bad

Hey boss, when you were banging my ex, did you ever catch my scent down there?

won't get you a raise, right?

[fireflywy]

Get a other job, excel at it, and in a year, roll up like a new man and say hello to those left in the hell you left behind. When you do, do it with a big ol' grin my friend.

[acorym]

Hey folks, how's it going? New day, new start, same story huh. Having little success with finding a new job, but will keep at it. With the move to days next week for training, at least for a week, it's a bit of a break from dealing with my boss. How it will be seeing my ex, well we shall see. Still, looking forward to the training.

 

 

I actually got a laugh today though, a bit of WTF moment. Like I said previously, I've been able to keep it more civil with my boss since posting on here, only speaking of work issues like team members, machinery, so on. Keep it professional. Well, during one of these moments, for some dumbass reason, he starts talking about his daughter to me and how they have plans and yada yada yada whatever. I looked at him square in the eye, said, "look, you and I, we're getting better. But I could care less about your personal life." and walked away. While I said that to him, he looked at the ground, nodding his head leg a shamed dog with his tail between his legs. Really dude? What in any reality would I want to hear about your personal **** after all this? On the plus, I can laugh about it cause that really blew me away that he would attempt to speak to me like that.

 

 

Laugh it off folks. I'm learning much through this process of who I am and know my worth.

 

 

Take care all