Juliedtome Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 So basically we broke up in September and went nc and 2 months later she contacted me wanting to give it another shot because we needed space because our relationship was very toxic which I totally agree on. After trying to convince me we got back together in November to only break up again. She said I wasn't putting my all into the relationship and what not which is somehow true because I'm working 6 days a week and it's exhausting. We got into a big fight mainly because of me when we broke up. I was trying to convince her that it will work and to give it another shot but she was so stubborn. I couldn't believe how numb she was and wouldn't take my word which pissed me off a lot so I told her out of anger that when we broke up I slept with 3 girls ( she knows about one only) and to top it off I said that they were all better than her lazy ass in bed. So messed up I know. Couple days later I sent her a very long email explaining why I said that and that it's not true. We are now in nc for almost a month. She is a very forgiving person. Do you think nc this time would bring her around?
smellysocksuni Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 I think you have to be very careful with what you say out of anger, as you can't take words back and even if it's not true, she may be hurt that you could say such a thing to try and hurt her. My opinion is to just move on. You'll meet someone else.
ExtraSpice Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 As smellysocksuni said you have to be very careful what you say when you are angry. Doesn't matter if it is true or not, people tend not to forget those things. But what is done is done. I think giving relationships a second chance or third chance is a good idea if the relationship was good to begin with. But if the relationship was toxic to begin with, getting back together tends to work for a few weeks to a month and then people get back into the same old habits. Also for it to work on a third chance is even harder. Second chances are rare as is and second chances that actually work are even rarer. So this may be a lost cause. She may come back but try to analyse the whole situation and the future before you make the decision.
DrMario Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 I have to agree with the comments up top, you need to be very careful of what you say in the heat of the moment, I learned this lesson the hard way. Not so much with my ex, but with my sister, we got in to a few arguments that spanned a good few day's, I said "I don't want to you in my life anymore It's too much!" Of course I didn't mean it, she's my little sister and the only sibling that I've got, but the damage was done and for her it is lasting as she hasn't said a word to me since despite numerous efforts to apologise to her, even as much as letters begging and pleading for forgiveness, and yet, she remains silent like an island in the middle of nowhere. I learnt a valuable life lesson that day, and that is to never say something that I do not mean, and in hindsight it made me look over my previous relationship and face palm because in times of upset I would always say something spiteful that I did not mean, it's a valuable lesson to learn, it's just a shame it took losing my precious little sister to learn that lesson. As for your ex, she may come back around but it is very rare they do after coming back once, you can only apologise at this point and feel some shame for it because if my ex had said this to me, believe me, it would be a stab in the chest that I wouldn't be able to forgive her for and I would try really hard to move on rather than go backwards. I would give her a heartfelt apology at this point and back away entirely, after that my friend, pray to whichever god you believe in because you will need his help on this on.
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