carhill Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 I'll offer a contrarian viewpoint to the OP's assertion, having been socialized in a demographic where women were both socialized and encouraged to 'marry up' as well as grow their own stock in life, in other words do the best they can and be as successful as they can, in social life, economics and reproduction. A successful man, OK the prospective 'nerd' here, is part of that program. Partners are stepping stones to success. For some, it's a big, long stepping stone which lasts a lifetime. For others, a succession of them, kind of like growing a career in steps. It works. The men are all fully formed adults, generally, when such partnerships are legalized so they can make their own adult decisions based on their success path and, no doubt, a strong wife is a great asset for a man.
sambolini Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Just today a lady I went to high school with posted on Facebook "I need a sugar daddy!" This woman is twice divorced and obese. A guy nibbled and posted "I'll do it." She replied "Then pay my phone bill!" I nearly gagged. It took everything in me to not reply, "get off your ample ass, get a second job, and shut down your cell phone. Learn how to live within your means like a reasonable person." They're all for independence, until they fail at life. Then they expect a man to swoop in and rescue them from their bad decisions. What self-respecting man with money to burn would waste it on a woman who's failed at life? And expects a guy to just rescue her from her bad decisions? People won't learn from their bad decisions unless they face negative consequences. After my divorce I barely survived for two years. Never ate out; never bought myself anything new; never went out. Didn't have the money. But where's my sugar momma?? Pathetic. 1
Woggle Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Just today a lady I went to high school with posted on Facebook "I need a sugar daddy!" This woman is twice divorced and obese. A guy nibbled and posted "I'll do it." She replied "Then pay my phone bill!" I nearly gagged. It took everything in me to not reply, "get off your ample ass, get a second job, and shut down your cell phone. Learn how to live within your means like a reasonable person." They're all for independence, until they fail at life. Then they expect a man to swoop in and rescue them from their bad decisions. What self-respecting man with money to burn would waste it on a woman who's failed at life? And expects a guy to just rescue her from her bad decisions? People won't learn from their bad decisions unless they face negative consequences. After my divorce I barely survived for two years. Never ate out; never bought myself anything new; never went out. Didn't have the money. But where's my sugar momma?? Pathetic. Any man who agrees to that arrangement has failed at life in my opinion. 3
sambolini Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Any man who agrees to that arrangement has failed at life in my opinion. I agree. I don't have much sympathy for them.
sambolini Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 What should she get? A job. What would be "fair" to you? Each person leaves the marriage with whatever their personal income is and personal assets are (assets in one individual's name only) when the marriage ends. Any marital assets are split 50/50.
sambolini Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Personally, I'm in favor of the two partners developing their own marriage contract. The terms of the marriage are negotiated between the two people. When they have a contract they both agree on, they file it with the court along with their marriage license; any marriage license filed without a marriage contract signed by both parties would be null and void. I'd even agree to a marriage contract for a set time limit only; if after, let's say, five years, they can choose to renew it, modify it, or let it expire. Upon expiration, the expiration clause would take effect (the terms if which would be agreed upon beforehand by both parties). And that's what each person would get. No more, no less. Let the people getting married negotiate that between themselves. It's their lives, after all.
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