JiltedJane Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 My new guy got seriously screwed over by a few of his friends at work. He's going through alot professionally and personally. His company isn't doing the best and the friends that screwed him over are ones he has known his whole life and worked with him. How can I effectively support him without looking clingy or pushing him away? My gut is telling me to give him space and just listen rather than give advice (especially since I've never had something like this happen to me). He has been coming to me to vent, which i don't mind. I'm just afraid that down the line he'll use this stress to end it. I know its a waste of time worrying about the future, but every guy i've met this past year has used "stressed at work" as an excuse to end things.
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 He asked you to just listen, so just listen. Do not bad mouth the friends or the employer in case he reconciles with them. If you know people in his field do a little sleuth-y networking on his behalf. Then ask him if he'd like to talk to your friend so & so about a possible new job.
Gaeta Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 You listen and don't advice. When it's time to speak say something positive. Say you are sorry he is going through this and soon things will get better. You know he has all it takes in him to handle this difficult situation. Offer him to do something out of the ordinary to put his mind on something else. 1
WhirlwindGuy Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 My new guy got seriously screwed over by a few of his friends at work. He's going through alot professionally and personally. His company isn't doing the best and the friends that screwed him over are ones he has known his whole life and worked with him. How can I effectively support him without looking clingy or pushing him away? My gut is telling me to give him space and just listen rather than give advice (especially since I've never had something like this happen to me). He has been coming to me to vent, which i don't mind. I'm just afraid that down the line he'll use this stress to end it. I know its a waste of time worrying about the future, but every guy i've met this past year has used "stressed at work" as an excuse to end things. Im going through a similar relationship stress. Not work related, but its a pull regardless. My girlfriend asked me to just be there to support, listen and comfort her if I could, and allow her to deal with the issues in her way. She said she would ask me if she needed anything further. It is tough for me, because I typically like to swoop in and try and fix issues myself, take control and iron things out. But, I cant control everything, so I have to let go on this one. So I decided I have to trust her and do what she asks. So far it has worked out fine, but it has only been a couple of days.
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