pisces_gurl Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 Okay, so i have been talking to this guy(texts + calls, I dint have much feelings for) but was just trying to meet new people. I met him once and didn't feel much chemistry. I flirt a lot and found him kinda boring and not being able to build any chemistry or something. Anyway, he tells me he likes me and stuff but i felt we were very different in romantic expressions maybe. He asked me to visit him and it was kinda getting to know each other (without saying any big words or even much chemistry). When i had told him that he is not able to develop anything romantic between us (i was suggesting in terms of developing feelings), he started controlling and being aggressive. He started forcing me to hold his hands (without being polite). He was being aggressive and authoritarian and was shouting at me to give him my hand. I was nervous and freaked out but with utmost diplomacy i tried to change the topic and later on left the place. I always thought sexual feelings were easy to develop if there was physical touch. But in this case, when i practically had little interest in someone (even though they are young and handsome), i freaked out. So does it mean there is something wrong with me? Or is the sexual attraction thing more mental than physical? I believe the feelings are slowly developed through body language, smiles, stares, words, flirting, chemistry and then physical is followed. I was freaked out at the controlling behavior of this guy (even it was just holding hands) but I couldn't get myself to do it with someone who was not even respecting me? Far from attraction, this incident made me feel repelled by this guy. Is it normal? I seriously cannot enjoy or even have physical relationship if the guy has failed to attract me(really attract me) and buildup desire for him in my heart and fantasies.
PegNosePete Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 he started controlling and being aggressive. He started forcing me to hold his hands (without being polite). This is the point at which you should have walked out and got a taxi home and never spoken to him ever again. This is a sure sign that it will be an abusive relationship from this point on. Why did you stay with him for even 1 minute longer? There's nothing wrong with you (except not having the self confidence to walk out on the spot). He is an abusive jerk.
hippychick3 Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 I would feel repelled by any man who was controlling and aggressive in any way. I'd never go out with the guy again, even as friends. Why would you continue with the date with a guy who doesn't respect you or your boundaries?
blueskyday Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 This guy is rude. No one should force you to hold hands or do anything you are uncomfortable with. There is nothing wrong with you. Most women need a build up and a level of trust before sexual intimacy can occur. Emotional closeness comes first and through things like conversation, sharing thoughts and feelings, and spending time together. He's controlling and possibly abusive. I wouldn't go out with him again. Hold out for a gentleman who will care about your feelings and not push you.
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