My crush has gf....

[Ashley88]

I have just known this guy through my brother for just a few weeks, at first, I just thought of him as a little brother, because he is younger than me for 6 years, and he acts totally like a kid that like to be spoiled by me. He always has a lot of cute gesture and expression with me just like he always does in front of his gf, I loves to rub his head and pinch his cheek for being so cute.

 

He also has a gf that he is deeply in love with, his gf is also my new friend, and she is really nice and cute. He talks to me a lot about his relationship and asks for my advices. He is very shy around stranger, but he says he is so comfortable around me, after just hung out with me only 2-3 times, he tells me things that he does not even say to his gf. Even my brother said he talks with me so much; a little bit weird for his shy personality. I have just realized that I paid attention to him more than I should, but I still think maybe because I like him as a younger brother.

 

Last weekend, his gf went back to her hometown for 2 days, we hung out at his place to watch horror movie. My brother and his gf were drunk so they slept first on the floor, two of us lied near each other on the bed to watch movie together, we both are scare of horror movie so we sticked very closed to each other but we were not hugging, we just hold each other arm when we startled, we had so much fun. We decided to go to sleep and each of us lied at the two corners of the bed (king size).

 

Next morning, both of us was woken up by the text from his gf, after he checked his phone, we looked at each other for a few second, then I turned my back to him and ready to sleep again, then he just suddenly jump to my side and hugged me from behind. I thought that maybe he had not fully woken yet (we only slept for 3 hours) and thought that I was his gf (his gf is chubby while I am skinny), I turned around and looked at him, and I saw he looked at me too but because we hug each other all the time so I did not think of anything, but then he started to touch me in a way of a bf with a gf, I began to panic. I turned around and hold his shoulder and said "K...., wake up, it is me, not S..." then he got embarrassed and jump to the other side and said please don't say anything to his gf. I felt that if I continue to keep quiet, we will be very awkward when we meet each other again, so I said it is no big deal and I hugged him from behind. After that we went back to sleep at the 2 corners of the bed, but of course I could not fall back to sleep anymore.

 

When he woke up the second time, I talked to him when I got a chance, I joked and said he missed his gf so much that he mistook me as his gf or maybe it is a habit, he said no, he never touched her that way when they just woke up, and he said he did not know what came over him to make him do that, he said sorry. He is so honest that he makes me surprised and I said I thought nothing of it. And we decided to watch movie again, this time he hold my hands. When his gf came back, he ran out to hugged her and flirted with her. I said you guys have fun, I wanted to finish the movie, he followed me, lied next to me and hold on my shoulder in front of his gf. I feel so awkward and guilty, so I stood up and walked out of the bedroom with the excuse to let his gf rest. I heard he is the type of guy that like to be alone with his gf, but he asked me and my brother to stay back for one more night, we turned down the offer though.

 

We are back to normal now, but at the same time, I realized that I have a crush on him without knowing it. Now everything makes sense to me, when he touches me, I feel so intense and when he pays attention to me, I feel so happy and I feel lonely when he flirt with his gf, I always talk about him to my best friend, and ask my brother about him. I can control myself when I am sober, but when I got drunk I always hug him and try to get closer to him. I want to kiss him, hug him and want him for myself.

 

I just feel so confused with his attitude, after that incident, I saw he looks at me more, like when others tell jokes, he will turn around to look at me and my reaction. I try to ignore everything, and detach myself from him, it is hard but his gf is my sister's good friend, and I like her a lot too. I know he loves his gf a lot, they can never be away from each other, he missed her a lot when she is not besides him. They even planned for their future, they are so lovey-dovey, and always flirt/kiss each other no matter where, they are in their own world.

 

He is a very loyal person, I heard that when his ex-gf dumped him, he still wait for her and love her for more than 1 year, when his ex dating around with a lot of guys, but she still asked him to wait for her.

 

We have never text or chat with each other, we do not even add each other on facebook, he and his gf are very closed that they will look at each other phone. Then why did he do those stuffs to me? If nothing happen that night, I will not realize my feeling, will not feel confused with everything now, and will not feel so sad every time I saw them together. Can you please explain to me his action? Does he feel lonely without his gf besides him, and tried to use me as her replacement? Or does he mistake of me as his ex-gf, she is taller than me, but we almost have the same hair length and we are both skinny.

Edited January 6, 2016 by Ashley88

[PegNosePete]

we looked at each other for a few second, then I turned my back to him and ready to sleep again, then he just suddenly jump to my side and hugged me from behind. I thought that maybe he had not fully woken yet (we only slept for 3 hours) and thought that I was his gf (his gf is chubby while I am skinny), I turned around and looked at him, and I saw he looked at me too but because we hug each other all the time so I did not think of anything, but then he started to touch me in a way of a bf with a gf

He is a very loyal person

You have got to be kidding right? What about the paragraph above, says "loyal"? If you were his GF, how would you feel about him touching another woman in a "way of a bf with a gf"? Which I assume means touching sexually? If you were his gf would you say that his behaviour is that of a loyal and loving bf, or of a cheating douchebag?

 

Can you please explain to me his action?

He wants to have sex with you, and doesn't care about the fact that he has a gf. He is a cheater and wants to use you for sex.

[Ashley88]

I think you are right, but if you see the way he looks at his gf, you will see how much he loves her. In front of me, he always talk about her, the first time he saw her, how much she loves him, etc. When he has problem with her, he always ask for my advice, why she does this to him, and only her can make him cheer up when he is down. When they are together, it is like in this world, there is nobody more important than each other. He has never flirted with me, since we are very open, everybody in our group always hug each other. I seriously don't think that he will risk to do anything that will cause him to lose her, esp. my bro and his gf is on the floor, they could wake up at anytime.

 

I seriously hate to sit anywhere facing them, because of the way they act in front of everybody, they are always flirting, kissing, etc. At first, it just make me feel awkward, but now it makes me feel sad.

 

Thanks for your reply, maybe I need to stay away from him, it is better for me to be that way. It just makes me confused about his action, maybe that is why it keeps stuck in my head.

Edited January 6, 2016 by Ashley88

[pteromom]

I think you are right, but if you see the way he looks at his gf, you will see how much he loves her.

 

This is a very immature definition of love. Love is in how you TREAT someone, not how you look at them. And he isn't treating his gf very well.

 

Thanks for your reply, maybe I need to stay away from him, it is better for me to be that way. It just makes me confused about his action, maybe that is why it keeps stuck in my head.

 

His actions aren't confusing at all. He has a gf who he likes/loves/whatever. But if you are open to giving him some booty, he is gonna take it.

 

Whether or not you choose to stay away from him, you should most definitely NOT drink around him, since you say that is when you lose control of yourself.

 

Also, words have power. Don't call him your crush. He is simply a friend with loose boundaries. Move on and find someone capable of being faithful and loyal.

[Ashley88]

Sorry for not making myself clear, maybe because they are younger than me a lot, so the way they act is more like of a kids' love. But he is very mature in his way of thinking about their relationship; they are planning to have a future together, he took her home to introduce with his parents, he works overtime so that he can taking care of her. They have a lot of things incompatible with each other, but they try to respect with each others' hobby. They work things out in peace and try to understand each other more. I think that is a very mature love. Even my friend around my age can't even do that with her husband, they always argue and never yield to the others.

 

Thanks for your advice, even when I lose control of myself a little bit, I still can keep my distant from him, I also dance, hug, joke with a lot of ppl in the group, and act exactly the same, that is why nobody knows that I like him. But, I seriously think that I need to stay away from him.

Edited January 6, 2016 by Ashley88

[Redfisher]

You are placing this cheater on a pedestal and not seeing clearly... Find a single guy who will love you not this clown.