After all this,what does ex want from me?

[Jim nine three]

So,I was in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend for 3 and a half years.the last half year was full of arguments and shady behavior on her part (new guy friends,etc.) so I decided to end things because I felt I wan't making her happy anymore.

 

She was heartbroken by my decision but so was I.Believe me when I tell you letting go of this girl was like losing half my heart.

 

Anyway,we continued talking throughout the months following the break-up (even had some intimate moments) and as a couple of months went by we came close to one another once again.The connection clearly was there still so I told her I still have feelings for her and would like to take things slowly.She told me she feels the same exact way and we should see where it goes.

 

Fast forward a month and a few dates later she leaves town to visit these guy friends I mentioned above.Turns out she was hanging out with one of them romantically during our break-up (he was also an ex of hers for about a week or two when she was younger).So she tells me about this I get mad at her.We have an intense conversation where I end up begging and pleading for her to come back to me.She outright rejected me acting in a totally different way that before she went to visit her friends.She said we could still be friends if I wanted to (hell no,I rejected that immediately and told her that I can't be friends with her because I am in love with her so I told her we should part ways for now.)

 

I initiated NC and after two weeks I call her to wish happy birthday.We had a small conversation and hung up the phone on good terms.The very same night she shows up at my house drunk,wanting to have sex with me (which I refused,I would never take advantage of her situation) and after that started crying and confessing she loves me and misses me and such.Oh,she also told me she was in a relationship with this guy since she went to see him.My heart was broken,but I tried to avoid any further talks because she was not well so I drove her home.

 

Turns out she was hospitalized due to alcohol poisoning for the next couple of days after the incident.I immediately went to visit her,bringing flowers and such.At this point I was interested in hear health and not our relationship.Thing is,after she got out,she went complete cold with me.She still talked to me but I was the one initiating the conversation most of the time and her answers were pretty short and showing no interest.I honestly did not expect this after all that had happened.

 

So,a month later I hang out with some friends at a bar near her house.A friend of mine called her and invited her over.She joined us but at that moment I felt like happiness was at the bottom of the whiskey bottle so I was drunk as **** when she arrived.I ended up confessing my love for her (again) cried on her shoulder,begged,told her I cant live without her and such.She rejected me again and told me she loves me but is not in love with me anymore and she wants to move on in her life.I asked her what about that night she visited me drunk and she told me that she should not have given me false hope.

 

I was left devastated,it took me a week to get out of my house again.I decided I will not initiate contact with her anymore.And then?She texts me again to see what I am up to and such.She keeps texting me every two to three days from that moment until today for all the stupid reasons you can think of.

 

Honestly,I have no idea what she wants from me anymore and I have given up on trying to get back with her after so much pain and rejection.I still love her very much but I can't go on doing this.She rejected me twice already.What does she want from me?

[wow123]

Seems as though she is having trouble letting you go even though she doesn't want to be with you. She also probably likes knowing she still has you on the hook. You're allowing her to do this to you.

[Jim nine three]

I know i am allowing her to do this to me and i too believe she likes having me on the hook but I am honestly fed up and can't go on like this.

 

I was thinking of telling her that this can't go on because I still have feelings for her and we should part ways.

 

Or simply stay distant without saying anything and let her take the message by herself that I am not ok with all this.

[wow123]

Ask her not to contact you. If she doesn't listen, block her number.

[Jim nine three]

That's what I will probably do.If she really wanted to get back together with me or if she changes her mind she knows where to find me.However I have to move on and not expect anything from her anymore at all.

[wow123]

Exactly. If she wants you back you will know it. Your best chance is to disappear and not be so available. Feel better man.

[Jim nine three]

Thank you,really appreciated! I know it will be hard at times but I am sure things will get better eventually!

[Been]

She knows that she can comeback anytime. Things aren't going well with current boyfriend guess who she is going to call?You. Also it probably is an ego boost to her. Your an option not a solution. This will last until she meets someone who she deems better then you or whoever she's with at the time. Then all contact will stop. YOU should just cease all contact and go NC unless you wanna be the back up plan.

[Jim nine three]

Should I tell her I wish to stop all contact with her? Or simply drop off the radar? I don't think I owe her an explanation after what I went through so either one is fine by me.

[Stercrazy]

Drop off the radar. Do you!

[Been]

You don't have to tell her anything at this point or explain anything. You do what's best for you and only you.

[Captivating]

Should I tell her I wish to stop all contact with her? Or simply drop off the radar? I don't think I owe her an explanation after what I went through so either one is fine by me.

 

Yes you should "drop off the radar"! I agree with wow 123, you shouldn't be so available. No contact is a great way to heal yourself. She seems to drop by for an ego boost from you. Don't give it to her I would start dating someone new if I were you. You might find someone really sweet and loving. Keep an open mind.

The "cold shoulder"/no contact and your new date might spark your ex's curiosity too. Well, depending what you want...

Even if you are considering reconciliation, don't give in easily !

Consider the reason why things ended.

[Jim nine three]

Update : She talked to me again today.I took my sweet time responding and she asked me out the following days.I told her we'll see in a cold way,she got angry I did not immediately accept her invitation and I cut the conversation there.