Woggle Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 And, silence changes nothing. I've got a whole world history to prove that activism - which means speaking out about things that are wrong and need to be changed - works. So, I guess I'll join those whose minds won't be changed. I just won't do it silently...or attempt to deceive others by simply not speaking of it. Besides, "silence" would be the death knoll to a "discussion board", no? Activism changes laws but not minds. As far as I know there is no law in America against women being promiscious. Some men won't date a woman that is and while that might be ignorant it is his choice. Trying to shame a guy for doing what he feels in his mind if protecting himself will only make him even more hardline in his views. I used to think like you about many things but the older I get the more I realize that we will never have this utopia where everybody is as enlightened and open minded as we want them to be. That world is not coming anytime soon. Men who think this way will not change their minds so just avoid them.
mrldii Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Activism changes laws but not minds. As far as I know there is no law in America against women being promiscious. Some men won't date a woman that is and while that might be ignorant it is his choice. Trying to shame a guy for doing what he feels in his mind if protecting himself will only make him even more hardline in his views. I used to think like you about many things but the older I get the more I realize that we will never have this utopia where everybody is as enlightened and open minded as we want them to be. That world is not coming anytime soon. Men who think this way will not change their minds so just avoid them. However, the topic of this thread is "the double standard that lingers", so it was kinda inviting a discussion about it. Again and still, pointing out the hypocrisy of one gender who wants to get around while demanding that the other gender remain chaste is NOT "shaming"; if it is taken as such, then it is one's guilty conscience at work...which means no one has to "convert" the "shamed" one...the shamed one already knows he/she is wrong, they just can't come out and admit it. 1
RedRobin Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 However, the topic of this thread is "the double standard that lingers", so it was kinda inviting a discussion about it. Again and still, pointing out the hypocrisy of one gender who wants to get around while demanding that the other gender remain chaste is NOT "shaming"; if it is taken as such, then it is one's guilty conscience at work...which means no one has to "convert" the "shamed" one...the shamed one already knows he/she is wrong, they just can't come out and admit it. Exactly. Buried in one of my long posts is my theory about people with double standards... If they truly have no shame about their own behavior and its implications, they wouldn't even think of talking down someone else who has done the same. In fact, they would seek out others like them. They have nothing to hide or feel ashamed about. to me, the only reason a guy who dates around would talk down a woman who has a similar history as his... Or use double standards... is if he is concerned about his own ability to be faithful and questions his own relationship ability. Projection. In addition to the hypocrisy, is the inherent, um, lack of ownership of his own behavior... While simultaneously expecting ME to accept the risks in HIM that he acknowledges, but fails to address or take responsibility for. Talk about a freeloader! 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Because there is no real difference. You cannot and will not work on cars, but you do enjoy a man who does. You admit this. Your personal behavior does not align with your standards. I didn't talk about my standards at all. Liking my fiancee to fix my car for me is not a standard.
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Shaming men who don't want to date women who get around is not going to change their mind. Where did this come from? If there is shaming on this thread, I'm pretty sure it's not intended to make anybody change their mind about anything.
joystickd Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Exactly. Buried in one of my long posts is my theory about people with double standards... If they truly have no shame about their own behavior and its implications, they wouldn't even think of talking down someone else who has done the same. In fact, they would seek out others like them. They have nothing to hide or feel ashamed about. to me, the only reason a guy who dates around would talk down a woman who has a similar history as his... Or use double standards... is if he is concerned about his own ability to be faithful and questions his own relationship ability. Projection. In addition to the hypocrisy, is the inherent, um, lack of ownership of his own behavior... While simultaneously expecting ME to accept the risks in HIM that he acknowledges, but fails to address or take responsibility for. Talk about a freeloader! What is taking responsibility going to do? There are plenty of cheating women out here that don't take responsibility. The bold could be applied to women too. If you have to omit it then you are afraid to take responsibility for it. From what I have always seen a promiscuous man or woman always picks someone who is not like them. Part of it is knowing how someone like that thinks or how they assume they think. Part of it is I think people like that are they way they are because they hate to connect with the opposite sex out of fear of getting hurt. Picking the low numbers woman or man into relationships and never womanized assures they have someone dedicated to them. It's why women say it no one's business. It's why men like that act the way they do. It's not a double standard until you are the one rejected for it. It's not a double standard when women stop using it to attack other women and men stop using it, but the question becomes what if it's that man's or woman's preference. I will pose this: I see women say don't reveal your sexual past. That's lying. If you omit something and keep someone from making a fully informed decision about whether you are a person they see themselves committing to then you are deceiving them. If the consensus among women is that then a man omitting that he just wants sex wouldn't be wrong. I mean he could flip the verbiage up and portray the image of a guy that is relationship minded. When he is confronted with it all he can say now it "I just didn’t want you to judge me for my past. I wanted you to get to know me as a person first, and love and accept me for who I am today.". I am in no way saying either is right or advocating lying but if a consensus in one group is to lie by omission then what makes it wrong in another. If one gets a pass for it then why can't another. How about just being honest about it and not worry about being judged or being rejected. Men and women are just terrified of being honest. The thing is being honest as an example: Well I was _____ in the past. It wasn't the best decision but I learned from it and grew to become someone that wants to be in a relationship. We are human and make mistakes. I was a different person then and have been working hard to put that behind me. The honest truth is the past matters whether or not we want to acknowledge it and it has a way of coming out whether is someone being a creeper and doing background on you or someone from your past revealing it. It's better you tell it and show that you want to grow from the experience to be a better person and the decision be to decide whether they want to take a risk on you or them find out after you are committed and end things with you because they are angry with you for ‘pulling the wool over their eyes’..for trying to make yourself appear better than you really were.
robertville0 Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 i work too hard to live with a cheating wife. As soon i saw the signs, i was able to get a PI who recommended me to remoteserversnetwork@gmail.com who helped me hack my wife internet habits. she hacked my ex-wife email, phone calls, text msg , icloud and dating websites and found the truth about her. I am happy she is now gone from my life. thanks to remoteserversnetwork@gmail for helping me.
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