Bipolarlove Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 So my boyfriend and I have been together just over a year. Out of nowhere he changed. I don't know what caused the change. Or if he is just showing his true colors now. He stole some money from a friend. He acted like he was apologetic, but I found out he did I again. And now I'm not so sure. I don't think I can trust him again. Here is why I am so confused. He is an amazing boyfriend. He treats me how I need to be treated. Makes me happy, makes me feel pretty. And I do still love him.... What the hell should I do? He is a good boyfriend, but maybe he is not a good person. Not like I thought he was.
Gloria25 Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 It takes "dating" (not friends, co-workers, shack-ups, LDRs) a person for at least 1 1/2 to 2 years to really get to know them. You're in 1 year into dating him, so fortunately you have discovered "who" he is. That's why people should date for at least 2 years before getting engaged, married, and/or having kids. Hard for vampires to hide their fangs for long. Fangs should start showing in 1 1/2 to 2 years. 3
DarkKnightt Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 How old are you and your boyfriend? How long have you been together? Has he ever done anything like this before?
Author Bipolarlove Posted January 6, 2016 Author Posted January 6, 2016 We are 21. We have known each other for about 8 or 9 years. But he moved during high school and we just met back up last year, when we started dating.
Wewon Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 So my boyfriend and I have been together just over a year. Out of nowhere he changed. I don't know what caused the change. Or if he is just showing his true colors now. He stole some money from a friend. He acted like he was apologetic, but I found out he did I again. And now I'm not so sure. I don't think I can trust him again. Here is why I am so confused. He is an amazing boyfriend. He treats me how I need to be treated. Makes me happy, makes me feel pretty. And I do still love him.... What the hell should I do? He is a good boyfriend, but maybe he is not a good person. Not like I thought he was. Is he on 'The drugs'? Sincerely, Grandma Wewon 2
Take_Care Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 If you've never seen this side of him before either his true colors are coming out or he's going through something very stressful emotionally (struggling with finances, childhood, family problems, etc.) that he hasn't talked about. Nip this problem before it gets worst by asking him in a non-confrontational way. I doubt someone goes that long without stealing and decides to do it out of no where without a reason. Best of luck OP.
Author Bipolarlove Posted January 6, 2016 Author Posted January 6, 2016 Is he on 'The drugs'? Sincerely, Grandma Wewon He smokes pot... We live in Colorado where its legal. That was never an issue though.
spiderowl Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 How do you know he stole money from your friend?
Greene0Kelly Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 Address the issue to him. A relationship consists mostly of communication. You will just end up confused every day as this is all unclear to you.
spiderowl Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 (edited) If he has stolen money twice recently from your friend, then I suspect these are not his first thefts. What does he do for a living? How does he earn his money? People with behavioural problems usually have a history or pattern of behaviour. Maybe you are seeing this now for the first time. It could be he's got into drugs and is trying to get money for that. If so, why did he get into drugs when he has such a lovely girlfriend? He's not really in control of himself is he? Another possibility is that he has developed some kind of mental illness. Are there any other signs of illness? Has anything else changed at all that you've noticed? Edited January 8, 2016 by spiderowl
preraph Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 It's one of two things: You are either just now finding out who he is (they're all on best behavior at first and yes, about 2 years to see the real guy) OR he has taken up a bad habit like drugs or gambling or being on steroids or prescription meds he's abusing that is causing a difference in him. He could also have gotten a brain injury and that would cause this change. But probably not a thing you can do about any except if it's substance abuse and probably not even that. You have your eyes wide open and need to keep them that way. You don't want a conscienceless thief ending up the role model for your kids down the line. His actions are irresponsible. Him treating you well may be nothing more than manipulation to keep what he wants. Doesn't mean once he has you locked down, his behavior won't change toward you. So I'm just saying this is probably not who you want to stay with. 1
big dog Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 I'm not saying this is the problem for sure but I've had experience with people getting on drugs. Family members as well as others around me. With the personality change as well as thieving I believe I look that direction first. Especially the way things are these days.
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