Why do people that want someone to talk to or be friends with, act like this?

[ZHguy]

There are those people that clearly state that they're looking for a relationship/somebody to talk to/ companionship, because they're lonely/in a difficult situation/ etc. But when you offer a hand, (you being in the same position as them), they just elbow you away. What the honest f*** .

I am talking about online... but in person too.

Why? And am I the only one? Any experiences?

[preraph]

Everyone has a standard in their head and they won't let people in who don't fit whatever that is. They shouldn't go around whining to strangers about it who they would then reject if they took it as an invitation, I will give you that. That's thoughtless.

[SpiralOut]

I have experienced that with a previous "friend" who complained to me all the time that nobody invites her to do things or wants to hang out with her. Then when I tried to make plans with her, she always had an excuse. She dated this one guy who also used to ask her "why don't you ask SpiralOut to do that with you?" and she would give excuses. Then she'd go back to complaining.

 

It's annoying but it's their own issue. They are looking for a particular type of person. And I'm no longer friends with that person, as she clearly didn't value me that much.

[Jammer25]

Everyone has a standard in their head and they won't let people in who don't fit whatever that is. They shouldn't go around whining to strangers about it who they would then reject if they took it as an invitation, I will give you that. That's thoughtless.

 

Something like this I'd say. I think a lot of people become infatuated with the "idea" of having a partner/companion/etc., and get scared when the opportunity to realize that in the form of an actual person presents itself.

 

Sometimes they might feel they wouldn't measure up or be worthy of having that person, even though they always say they want it. Or maybe it's more of a "cold feet" kind of thing where they suddenly find themselves afraid to be vulnerable.

[ZHguy]

I could've even put this under rants and confessions. It starts to confuse me when both you and the other have so much in common, even with your life problems. I do agree with preraph though about standards, although he was a guy and my intentions were platonic, but, really, what's the harm?