ff12343 Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 (edited) Would appreciate some input here: To make a long story short, I met this Persian jewish girl and being im a jew myself i thought that was pretty exciting. After about 2 weeks of talking and seeing each other (sexually) she randomly pulls a ghost. Completely vanishes. I tried to get her back a little and finally she came back. Fast forward another week later. We saw each other and everything is good again. Boom..3 days later she vanishes for 2 weeks. That one hurt a lot. Finally she came back and said she has a lot of things going on in her life, blah blah, and family is tight on her. Then she reveals because I'm not a Persian jew like herself that she cant see me anymore and her family doesn't approve. I'm 27 keep in mind and she's 23. Sounds like 18 yr old stuff here. I don't think she is seeing anyone else. Not that I can be sure but i just have a feeling. Anyways, after some texting she reveals that her family is super tight knit. That its disrespectful to date someone outside the community lol. I assume it's pretty much done. This was just out of the blue. I understand I have to disappear for a bit here but is there any hope of even ''trying'' to rekindle this? Again, she was super into me and this sounds like her parents brainwashed her. Really was into her. Trying to see if there is anything whatsoever that can be done. Maybe a ''hey how are you'' like 2-3 months in the future? I only knew her for a few months but i somehow caught the ''feelings'' lol. Appreciate it guys. Edited December 29, 2015 by ff12343
WhatYouWantToHear Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 People are who they are, not who you want them to be. Realize this sooner than later and save yourself a lot of pain and problems. Let the nutty girl go. 1
Author ff12343 Posted January 5, 2016 Author Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) Really need ''texting'' help. Going to keep this short. I made a thread about this before but i guess it wasn't detailed enough. I met this girl on an online dating app (lol) and off the bat just from the chat before she even sees me she is saying things like "baby" and "hi boo". Major red flag but like everyone else i was in denial. Girl to me was gorgeous. She also talked about sex like it was everyday conversation. I mean there were major red flags but I didn't want to see them. She didn't look or appear to be that type of girl. So it escalated to Skype and then phone calls and so on. We talked everyday and then met up in a week. At the bar, she kisses me first which i don't remember the first time a girl kissed me first if ever unless she was playing me. we go back to my car and one thing led to another and she goes down on me. Again another red flag for a respectable girl. She's 23 keep in mind. I'm 27. So the next few days we talk and continue on skyping. I ask to see her a week later and i get the infamous "you're smothering me". I was blown away. I would never smother. I never even ask "what are you doing". Anyways, then she reveals to me that she is "playing the field" with this app and I didn't show it but definitely got a bit hurt by it. Nothing really changed though. We still talked but maybe every other day. Then out of nowhere she vanished. Maybe found another guy? I don't know. One would suppose. I stick around and somehow get a 2nd date a week later with her. I was so happy. Regardless, same situation. We get back to the car and once we hook up I pull out a condom. Instantly I get "I'm on my period". Like I love seeing her but she knew this was coming since its all she talks about. Why even see me on this day unless you want to hang out again right? She is also infamous for this: As i drop her off both dates, she gets out halfway and then says "i cant" and pounces on top of me. Like i'm the man of her dreams. As i'm even typing this i know i got played. She even asked me about this holiday xmas party i had coming up. Like she remembered from a month ago. I got excited like she was going to come to it. Keep in mind, she never did. I shoot her a text a few days later and then nothing. Shes gone. Vanished for 2 whole weeks. I got very upset. I liked this girl. I dont know why. I get attention from other girls but i liked specifically talking to her. Late night convo's, you name it. Finally after enough teeth pulling she texts me "I like you but i don't know if i could go on with this". I asked ok..can i call you? No response. Days later I try again and its like she transformed. I get "You're honestly freaking me out". I was shocked. No idea this would come from her. Like if you have another guy, just say i'm sorry but it was only fun. Or something like that. Anyways, more texting after a few days of NC and then she goes "i know we find each other attractive but theres more to it. You have to understand we are from 2 totally different worlds". WHATEVER THAT MEANS. Im from nj and shes from ny. Give me a break. She then says her parents wont approve since im not the same nationality. Ok whatever. I know shes confused in the head. She considered dating me and then reverted back to these games. Ive been with younger girls before and know these games. I never saw it coming from this one. My question is: Is there anything I can text?? Im mainly venting here. She told me that im too much even as a friend. But the sad part is i didnt even do anything. She vanished on me. Randomly. I mean if girls like the attention and want validation, wont they keep coming back? It seems like this one is gone and I swear I didn't do anything. I even said Happy New Years and no response. I dont think NC will work. It bothers me. She never once said something like "you're crazy go away". But yet doesnt seem to keep me as Plan B. I dont get it. (Not that I would want to be Plan B). I've tried genuine texts and its not working. Damn... Again i dont think NC will work. 2 weeks of it did nothing. She got out of a relationship about a yr ago and i think wants to play the field and is confused about me. Yet i get silence. Edited January 5, 2016 by ff12343
Mrin Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 Nothing you can do. She's gone. Move along now. Complete NC. Block and delete. As for what you did - who knows for sure. But from the sounds of it you came off as needy and smothering.
Author ff12343 Posted January 5, 2016 Author Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) lol i promise I didn't though which is why im so confused. I just think with the nature of these apps, you are just so replaceable. Girls get hit on by 100 guys a day and they only judge by pictures. Edited January 5, 2016 by ff12343
ExpatInItaly Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 She's just not that interested. I've never once told a guy he's smothering me if I was actually into him. Just let this one go. Not worth it.
Author ff12343 Posted January 5, 2016 Author Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) Not interested but would do all that and let me take her on a 2nd date weeks later knowing i'm driving 60 miles? Selfish much or just confused about her ex/other guys? I got the smothering bs before the 2nd date. Do you understand why im confused? Kind of like she wanted to sample me a 2nd time before vanishing lol. I'm thinking I was just a booty call. Edited January 5, 2016 by ff12343
ExpatInItaly Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 Not interested but would do all that and let me take her on a 2nd date weeks later knowing i'm driving 60 miles? Selfish much or just confused about her ex/other guys? I got the smothering bs before the 2nd date. Do you understand why im confused? Kind of like she wanted to sample me a 2nd time before vanishing lol. I'm thinking I was just a booty call. Selfish, confused, booty call...whatever the case is, the bottom line is the same: she's not overly interested. Don't waste any more time wondering why she behaved this way. Just forget about her and focus your energy on women who don't play games.
Author ff12343 Posted January 6, 2016 Author Posted January 6, 2016 Selfish, confused, booty call...whatever the case is, the bottom line is the same: she's not overly interested. Don't waste any more time wondering why she behaved this way. Just forget about her and focus your energy on women who don't play games. For some reason I am still very much infatuated with the IDEA of her. I know this is stupid but it cant hurt to ask. Would making my instagram profile public again so she can see how much better I am make any sense? Or keep it private so she cant see anything and wonder?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 For some reason I am still very much infatuated with the IDEA of her. I know this is stupid but it cant hurt to ask. Would making my instagram profile public again so she can see how much better I am make any sense? Or keep it private so she cant see anything and wonder? Trust me when I say that if she's not into you, it won't matter to her what you do with your social media. She wouldn't really pay much attention to your online activity, unless she's playing games with you...in which case, she's not a good candidate for any type of relationship anyway. I went out a few times with a guy a couple years back, but I didn't feel the spark so I called it off. About a year later I randomly bumped him and he seemed surprised that I was still living in the same city (I live abroad) This confused me as he was on my Facebook and i regularly posted pics from the city so he shouldn't have been surprised. I said as much, and he confessed he'd deleted me after we stopped seeing each - and I hadn't even noticed. Cold? Maybe. But there it is.
Author ff12343 Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 (edited) Trust me when I say that if she's not into you, it won't matter to her what you do with your social media. She wouldn't really pay much attention to your online activity, unless she's playing games with you...in which case, she's not a good candidate for any type of relationship anyway. I went out a few times with a guy a couple years back, but I didn't feel the spark so I called it off. About a year later I randomly bumped him and he seemed surprised that I was still living in the same city (I live abroad) This confused me as he was on my Facebook and i regularly posted pics from the city so he shouldn't have been surprised. I said as much, and he confessed he'd deleted me after we stopped seeing each - and I hadn't even noticed. Cold? Maybe. But there it is. I get it. Thank You. Edited January 7, 2016 by ff12343
Author ff12343 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) Trust me when I say that if she's not into you, it won't matter to her what you do with your social media. She wouldn't really pay much attention to your online activity, unless she's playing games with you...in which case, she's not a good candidate for any type of relationship anyway. I went out a few times with a guy a couple years back, but I didn't feel the spark so I called it off. About a year later I randomly bumped him and he seemed surprised that I was still living in the same city (I live abroad) This confused me as he was on my Facebook and i regularly posted pics from the city so he shouldn't have been surprised. I said as much, and he confessed he'd deleted me after we stopped seeing each - and I hadn't even noticed. Cold? Maybe. But there it is. ExpatInItaly, is there any way to private message you? I want to ask you a few things but it seems i cannot private message here..or atleast not yet? Edited January 13, 2016 by ff12343
ExpatInItaly Posted January 13, 2016 Posted January 13, 2016 ExpatInItaly, is there any way to private message you? I want to ask you a few things but it seems i cannot private message here..or atleast not yet? It's probably because you haven't been a member here long enough to PM other members. Maybe ask a moderator?
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