mbgeezle Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 Long story short 14th of December she decided out of nowhere that this isn't what she wanted. Wanted to be 19. wanted to explore. wanted to do her own thing. at first I tried convincing, she even turned up day after drunk, I looked after her as she was a mess. In the morning when she was sober we had sex passionately and discussed things. She had become infatuated with a co worker, she liked the attention. Even though I was attentive (go figure!) She lusted him but loved me. He has or had maybe now, a girlfriend. Ironically. There was no sign. she suggested a holiday about 3 days before for next year. we picked it. The lot. arranged going to a Christmas market. what day she was going to come and open her presents etc. It hit me for six. 10 days no contact she messages me and ask how I'm feeling about us. Do I miss her, do I think we'll get back together etc etc. I said only time would tell and I was willing to put the work in to make it happen. We were best friends not just lovers. She said she wanted us and she loved me and she needed to sort herself out Again I go NC. she texts merry Christmas and we share light hearted conversation. she said we had all the ingredients we just had to make it happen. I know from her telling me she had become infatuated with a Co worker. I was angry but didn't let it show and haven't mentioned it since. I just said I was willing for work through whatever issues we had. To me, their wasn't many. I again go nc. she requested we be friends if we didn't get back together, I refused and said it was all of me or none of me. I wasn't being friend zoned. 3 days later i contact her as my father had been involved in a car crash. They got on really well. She expressed concern and i stated that we couldnt be friends and it was best we didnt speak anymore if the hopes werent to reconcile on both sides. she agreed it was best not to talk. She said she wanted us and she loved me and that wouldn't change but she needed more time for herself. She said it would be hard for us both but she needed to do this. She said she knows we will be together down the line, but now is just the wrong time. She said in a few years maybe. I said I respected her decision and that if it was true love like we both thought then no matter how much time passed we would be together. If not it meant we were meant for other people. I told her I loved her and believed in her. And that is the last I've spoken to her. 3 days ago. I've deleted her number. removed from Facebook. I will NOT contact her again. I became slightly needy, I acknowledge. She is a type 1 diabetic sufferer and also suffers with asthma. We've been through some scary and life changing times together. I've supported her through her illnesses and issues with her family. She basically lived with me for the best part of 6 months (16 month relationship), nothing changed from what I could see, no attraction loss, still telling me how pretty I was and looking at me with the eyes she always had. So I guess I'm looking for clarity. I no I made a mistake moving to fast. I acknowledge my mistakes and I always learn from them. I understand her viewpoint. completely. I'm 25 so have done and seen abit. We all have to do it. She's hoping to go to uni next year. So a big transition. I am moving on and smashing the gym hard. even talking to another chick just to divert my attention from the longing feeling more. It helps to an extent. I have a strict diet and am going out for one last party tonight before I dedicate myself to the gym in the new year. I have a driving test 13th of next month, a 8 hour tattoo session 7 days after. I am making me happy again and slowly but surely I am coming round. I still miss her, I still want us to reconnect in the future. I no over time these feelings will face more and more as this isn't my first heart break. I'm her first love (she's my second). I suppose I wonder if she will try to reconnect? Will she realise that what we had was special? because it was. I'm not going to roll with the cliché that we were 'different' but we were great together. We did a lot together holiday, fine dining, spa. We did live in each others pockets though for a time when she didn't want to be at home due to problems. so I said she could stay here, as I'd rather she was here and happy than there and sad. Sorry for the rant guys I'm just looking for others opinions so I can gauge wether she will engage with me again. we have ended great really and I have expressed that I love her enough to let her go and see what happens in the future.
Nickr3023 Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 I mean all and all it seems like you guys were good together. But the big huge red flag is that she started falling for another guy despite everything you guys had. That to me is a sign of things to come unfortunately. Coming from a guy that was in 2 heavy relationships that ended with being cheated on, she has all the signs of someone that will end up cheating on you in the future. Now it could be just that she's 19, or she could end up being a serial cheater, or just want to bail on every relationship once the honeymoon phase ends. At this point, you're doing the right thing. Cut off all contact and if it's meant to be somewhere down the road, then it'll be. But I would remain very cautious with her in the future as you could be looking at some serious heartbreak down the line with her. Best of luck my friend.
Author mbgeezle Posted January 5, 2016 Author Posted January 5, 2016 Thanks a lot man. It is a huge red flag I acknowledge it. I was completely respectful when it came to her decision and still never lost my temper or tried to change her mind. I accepted it. Which someday will hold a lot of weight with her. I didn't just love her, I had to manage her illnesses to. making sure her sugars were okay, and that she hadn't lost her inhaler for the 500th time. One thing I used to moan about lol. We had something great and the slightest bit of male attention and she jumps ship. What I can't get my head around is everything we had planned. It was a lot her suggestions and we tweeked it to suit us both. Her attraction for me never ever seemed to fade. Up until the day she left. She takes a lot of negative influence from friends and her family (who she couldn't stand not to long ago). I no I'm doing the right thing sticking to no contact and going to the gym, diet plan, bodybuilding plan, driving test, soon to have car, tattooing. All things to bump my confidence and things that make me happy. its been 8 days since we last spoke and in the grand scheme of things, this isn't very long. I've been so close to contacting her, just to start off light hearted conversation. Definitely not speak from my emotions. I have a knack of doing that. But I think it's too soon and it's best if I stick to NC. For a good 4-6 months. And by that time unless she contacts me, I'll be over her completely.
Author mbgeezle Posted January 5, 2016 Author Posted January 5, 2016 Any other opinions would be greatly received. having a tough time of it today with the thoughts of contacting her. I no I won't and I no I'm just having a down day but people telling me straight is what i need during this time
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