we are not together, is it mean that I told him not to meet anymore via text?

[Lily1234]

I've been seeing this guy for about half a year. And when me meet up, it's always the physical thing. It always took him like a whole day to text me back, so I also started to text him less. We usually talk once a week and meet once a month(I know this is really a sad frequency). We always talked through texts and never called each other.

 

I'm in another city lately, he suggested to pick me up in the airport but found out the schedule doesn't work. And 3 days ago, I texted him wether he have time for a talk, it took him 2 days to get back to me. It really bothers me that we seldom contact each other, and I have no idea when can we meet up next time. So today I texted him that maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore. I told him that I really like him, but I don't like the way we are right now. He said he understand, but seems a little angry that I told him via text.

 

Am I really mean to do that via text? Was there any other way that I could do?

Edited January 5, 2016 by Lily1234
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[everything]

Yes you did the right thing. It isn't mean. You already don't see each othernmuch or talk much so it makes no sense to meet up for something like this.

[Lily1234]

Thanks for that. Actually I guess it hurts me more. It feels like I will fall in love with him if I don't stop seeing him...but I know he didn't take it very seriously.

[everything]

It would hurt you more cause you seemed more into him than he was. Which isn't good for you.

[stillafool]

It seems he was only seeing you when he wanted sex. You definitely did the right thing by breaking off contact with him.

[Lily1234]

He seemed angry when I say that via text, and I apologized. To be honest, I still like him and want to contact him again...sometime it's really hard to hold myself back, but I'll try.

[everything]

I think you deserve what you put out. The only way to know if he was really SRS about you is to wait and sew what hapns. If he doesn't contact you then he never really cared or wanted this.

[Lily1234]

you are right...but I guess he will not contact me again. He has high self-esteem and will not talk to me again after I said no more meeting up.

[ExpatInItaly]

Sounds like you're a friend-with-benefits for him. His actions indicate he's not serious about you, so you did the right thing. Don't worry about seeming mean because I can guarantee he's not worried about your feelings when he takes days to respond to you.

[Silver_star]

hey lily

 

You are nice to consider his feelings, but you shouldn't over think it or worry. He is going to be just fine.

 

 

I had a similar situation before.

I had a guy who I always met up with and it was a physical thing. He never wanted more...we never discussed it. It was just one of those things that we didn't have to say. I started to notice at one point that I was getting disappointed and developing expectations. I started to get emotionally invested and so I had to tell him that I had to stop with this "arrangement

".

I texted him this as well. He was disappointed but he understood where I was coming from. Don't worry about him. You got to do what's right for you. If you are looking for more, than go get more from someone else who is able to give you that. If he could give you more he would have already.

 

 

He may reach out to you again to see if you change your mind about hooking up..stick to your guns and stay NC if you are still wanting more than you know he can give to you. If you are at a point when a purely physical relationship works for you reach out to him if you want. 100% he will be responsive to that. Been there, done that.

[Lily1234]

Thank you for sharing me this. I feel much better now:)