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Trying to be too genuine and I think I lost my shot

TheQuirkyGuy

By TheQuirkyGuy
in General Relationship Discussion

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TheQuirkyGuy New Member

TheQuirkyGuy

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She's somebody I've been crushing over for a few years now. There was once a time a while back when she invited me out with her and I politely declined because of a friend's birthday that same night. Like an idiot I never followed up and I've regretted it ever since. Hell there was even a time she gave me her # to help her sell remaining event tickets she had. Did I even test the waters? Course not.

 

Since then it had become a series of passive/aggressive stuff on social media i.e. liking each other's posts (whether on FB or Insta), as well as watching each others' snapchats. A few months ago I spent some time chatting with her about her father (who is not well) and let her know I'm here if she needed anything.

 

Truth is, I've had a few long running hang-ups getting in the way of finally pursuing her (some of which had to do with financial hardship). All that has finally changed and I was ready to make my push for her in 2016 .... Except I think I did something to ruin it.

 

I recently tried showing my cousin her Instagram, but it was gone. I hopped on FB to ask her if I offended her in any way and went on to mention that I was trying to show my cousin some of her artsy stuff. She told me she started a new one, because she didn't like how the old one portrayed her. I mentioned how I understand and that sometimes I don't like the perception people get from my FB profile. I think that may have been strike one, as I probably said too much.

 

I added her new Insta after a few days and strangely she didn't add me back. Won't lie, I felt really dejected by it .... enough that a couple days later in a moment of self-pity I deleted a comment I made on a four week old FB post of hers about wanting to move. It was a flirty "Noooooo" meme.

 

At this point we were still FB friends and she was still watching my snapschats. Then after Xmas Day, I noticed she removed my snapchat feed. I felt really insecure about that because some of my snaps during Xmas were jokes/half-truths about how un-festive my family has become.

 

I've over-analyzed this situation to death and I fully admit it's such small potatoes. For that I'm even embarrassed to post about it. I don't get like this about just anybody, as I'm verrrrrry particular .... but finally taking my shot in this new year was important.

 

Ready for your criticisms in 3-2-1 .....

Edited by TheQuirkyGuy
mrldii Established Member

mrldii

Posted
Posted

No criticisms from me.

 

Why not take the ball she put into play and run with it? Tell her you, too - like her - are seeing the new year as a fresh start and a time for shedding things from the past year that weren't working for you, either...

 

...and you'd like to start, now, by asking her out.

 

 

 

You did, after all, say that you'd like to do things differently in 2016, riiiiiight?

 

 

 

Best of luck to you, OP...

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TheQuirkyGuy New Member

TheQuirkyGuy

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No criticisms from me.

 

Why not take the ball she put into play and run with it? Tell her you, too - like her - are seeing the new year as a fresh start and a time for shedding things from the past year that weren't working for you, either...

 

...and you'd like to start, now, by asking her out.

 

You did, after all, say that you'd like to do things differently in 2016, riiiiiight?

 

Best of luck to you, OP...

 

Honestly .... when she told me she wanted a fresh start with her new Instagram, it really made an impression on me. It showed me how much her priorities are changing. I wanted to let her know right then and do exactly what you described.

 

Since she's no longer following me on Insta and Snapchat (even though we're still friends on FB), the overanalytical side of me is convinced this was her indirect/polite way of letting me know where I stand on that kind of level.

Edited by TheQuirkyGuy
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sambolini Established Member

sambolini

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Honestly .... when she told me she wanted a fresh start with her new Instagram, it really made an impression on me. It showed me how much her priorities are changing. I wanted to let her know right then and do exactly what you described.

 

Since she's no longer following me on Insta and Snapchat (even though we're still friends on FB), the overanalytical side of me is convinced this was her indirect/polite way of letting me know where I stand on that kind of level.

 

mrldii gave solid advice. Buck up and ask her out. Tell her what you told us: that your situation has changed, and that you'd like to go out with her and see what develops.

 

Don't put much stock into electronic stuff.

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TheQuirkyGuy New Member

TheQuirkyGuy

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mrldii gave solid advice. Buck up and ask her out. Tell her what you told us: that your situation has changed, and that you'd like to go out with her and see what develops.

 

Don't put much stock into electronic stuff.

 

I try not to, but I dunno ..... I can't seem to get myself in the right mindset.

 

I feel like I've already slipped up from being too "forthcoming" with some of my more recent exchanges with her. If a woman is romantically interested, a man mentioning to her in passing that he told his cousin about her artistic stuff would be a nice gesture. It would be "wow he really pays attention!" But when there's no current indication of interest, imo there's risk of it coming off a little too forward and I don't want to risk moving into the creep zone .... I wish I had been a little more coy or flirty about it, like "hey no more IG **sad face**).

 

We're talking about a girl who recently decided she didn't want to be friends on IG and Snapchat anymore (but still on FB, which is weird but wouldn't be surprised to see that axe fall too). Where-as she used to be someone who would like deeper posts like "Partner in Crime Wanted" or needing to "feed my soul" and watch all my snapchats, usually fairly quickly after I'd post them.

 

It's also kind of deterring to see that she's been posting passive things about somebody in her life who's not reciprocating. I think maybe it's best I leave this one alone for a while. Come back to it a little more correct when some time has passed and my perceived mistakes are little aged.

 

Too bad "waiting" has been my number one crutch to begin with.

Edited by TheQuirkyGuy
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