Is it difficult to get accepted into your bf/gf social circle?

[Bobbi7]

My biggest fear is when I'm finally dating a guy and he wants to introduce me to his best friends. Sure, I can meet them, be friendly, etc, etc. But to actually get them to accept somebody from the outside? Is that even possible?

[Qboro90]

My biggest fear is when I'm finally dating a guy and he wants to introduce me to his best friends. Sure, I can meet them, be friendly, etc, etc. But to actually get them to accept somebody from the outside? Is that even possible?

 

No one would bring you around their friends/family if they didn't want to show you off or think that you'd fit in nicely. You're not going to become their best friends. They're his friends. You're not going to end up being text buddies with them or bff's so what do you care about being in their circle? All you should want to do is be able to have fun and be able to be social with them when you're all out together. If your BF leaves to go to the bathroom or is talking to someone ... You should be cool with just bs'ing with his friends and not needing him as a crutch to socialize.

 

They're not huddling up after you meet them and voting you in or out. They're not discussing you at all unless you're a flat out bitch or obvious weirdo. Take interest in their lives and how they all became friends. Ask them about funny/embarrassing stories about your BF, keep things light. Don't expect them to go out of their way to make you feel comfortable. Although good friends would do that, not everyone has those kinds of friends.

[S_A]

I think it's a lot easier for a girl to get accepted by a BF's friends than it is for a guy to get accepted by a GF's friends. So long as you're not a bitchy or come off as a jerk, you'll be fine.

[basil67]

Agree with the others. You won't become part of their group - at least not until you're married or equally committed. But it would normal for his group to talk with you and be thoughtful when you're all out together.

[Bobbi7]

No one would bring you around their friends/family if they didn't want to show you off or think that you'd fit in nicely. You're not going to become their best friends. They're his friends. You're not going to end up being text buddies with them or bff's so what do you care about being in their circle? All you should want to do is be able to have fun and be able to be social with them when you're all out together. If your BF leaves to go to the bathroom or is talking to someone ... You should be cool with just bs'ing with his friends and not needing him as a crutch to socialize.

 

They're not huddling up after you meet them and voting you in or out. They're not discussing you at all unless you're a flat out bitch or obvious weirdo. Take interest in their lives and how they all became friends. Ask them about funny/embarrassing stories about your BF, keep things light. Don't expect them to go out of their way to make you feel comfortable. Although good friends would do that, not everyone has those kinds of friends.

 

I'm not bitchy by any means. The only problem that I have is that I'm not that talkative, so I might get called out for being quiet. And its happened to me alot in general social situations. But it might be different when a guy introduces me though, I'm sure his friends won't disrespect me??? Or would they? So, I guess they don't cater to someone being reserved?

[davincicode2016]

No its not. just be yourself, and be kool .. feel them out see how their like and just be yourself. Its a tradition around the world that men like sports so you know where im heading. also theres a saying, show me your friends i'll show you who you are. so however this guy is his friends will be similiar.

 

and if he likes you then what?????? they will also like you. so dont worry about it.

[d0nnivain]

In my circle, once you showed up 2-3x you were in. Somebody we like likes you so you must be worth knowing. Very simple.

 

 

When I first met the Marine's DH served with all of them & their wives hugged everybody hello. The Marines were so tight after literally having faced death together that they just pulled everybody else in. I'm more reserved & felt overwhelmed.

 

 

Just be yourself. Smile. Be polite. Try to at least ask an occasional question so you are participating but you are not obligated to dominate the group.

 

 

Be sweet but not overly demonstrative to your BF, their friend. If they see you being kind to somebody they care about they should be more accepting.

[MissBee]

My biggest fear is when I'm finally dating a guy and he wants to introduce me to his best friends. Sure, I can meet them, be friendly, etc, etc. But to actually get them to accept somebody from the outside? Is that even possible?

 

Huh?

 

This happens everyday. Do you have friends? Do your friends have SOs? How is it? In marriages, usually the friends become friends of the couple.

 

What do you mean accept you? It depends on what you mean.

 

My friends are my friends and my SO's friends are his friends. In my relationships I know about their friends and they mine and we get introduced and we all may hang out and that's good enough. That's as much acceptance as I need. I have my own friends. I don't need to become bffs with their friends. So long as they like me in a general sense, we get along and can have fun when we're all together, it's not awkward, that's it. I don't want to necessarily become super close to them. Ultimately, my friends are mine, his are his, my friends' allegiances are to me, his are to him and they treat the SO's cordially. If we so happen to become more than cool and cordial, fine, but it's not a big goal.

 

I've seen my friends through different relationships and some SO's are people I like or get on with more than others, some I may dislike, but ultimately, we all can still hang out, I treat them well, support my friend and everything is good. I don't think you should worry about this. Unless you have no friends and are hoping that your SO's bestfriends will be your bestfriends too (this is a bad idea. You need separate friends and you also don't want to make their friends your bestfriend because if things end who will you rely on?)

[Qboro90]

I'm not bitchy by any means. The only problem that I have is that I'm not that talkative, so I might get called out for being quiet. And its happened to me alot in general social situations. But it might be different when a guy introduces me though, I'm sure his friends won't disrespect me??? Or would they? So, I guess they don't cater to someone being reserved?

 

When a guy brings you around his circle of friends and family (both male and female), the absolute best way to have them like you is to act like you've known them your entire life right from the start. And not in a way where you're airing out your ditty laundry and personal details... But in a manner where you're asking about their jobs, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc.

 

I have a group of around 15 long time friends that I've known since middle school. Anytime one of the guys or girls in that group brought their new bf/gf out to a bar or night out with us, the ones who were well liked, were all similarly the ones who acted like they wanted to get to know us and we're able to talk to us without their partners presence always being necessary. The ones who are quiet or shy or stand by their bf/gf all night long, don't register a thought in our kinds . We don't not like them, because we don't know them. They never talked to us or tried to.

 

I always liked a girl more if when I brought her around my friends, I could leave for the bathroom, or walk around the bar for 10 minutes and she could talk to one or more of my friends without depending on me being there. That's the most attractive thing a girl could do in my eyes